4060004The She-Gallants — Act 5George Granville

Act V. Scene I.

The Street before Lady Dorimen's Door.


Enter Angelica, Constantia, and Courtal, Brother to Constantia: Angelica Reading a Challenge.

Ang. Reading.After what past between us Yesterday, you need not be surpriz'd to know that I am resolv'd to Cut your Throat, in order to which, I require you to appoint your Place and Time

(Speaks.) Very Reasonable truly.

(Reads.) I am impatient to try if you can be as brisk in the Field before an Enemy, as in a Ruel before the Ladies,

Bellamour.

(Speaks.) A very Comfortable Salutation.

Cons. And how you will bring your self off, I can't imagine, for my own part; as a Poet in a Play, when he has puzzled himself with a Plot, has recourse to supernatural Aids, and fetches down Mercury or Jupiter from Heaven, to set him right, so have I been forc't to Conjure up my Brother here, who by the help of the resemblance that is betwixt us, I hope may be able to satisfie my Mistresses, and protect me from the Fury of their Relations.

Court. By the Description Sister, you will stand more in need of a Real Jupiter to satisfie Four such dreadful Termagants; one Man, nor one Dozen of Men will scarce be sufficient.

Cons. Observe my Instructions, and fear nothing.

Court. A pretty Occupation indeed, to take up the Women you run down, and Fight the Men you provoke.

Cons. And does not the one make amends for the other?

Court. That's according as I like your Ladies; he that is backward to Fight for a Woman, is a most un-natural Coward: Hunger and Love make every body Valiant.

Ang. Now each to their several Project—Yes, Bellamour, I will meet thee—hark my Lady Dorimen's Door opens let us go, that no accident may hinder us.

O Love, be thou my Second, Fight for me,
Who have endur'd so many Wounds for thee:
When with his Weapon, pointed at my Heart,
The Traitor stands, let loose thy flying Dart,
Reduce the Rebel, and Avenge my smart.
Whom Love befriends, is certain of Success,
Love made a Woman's Fool of Hercules.

As they go off, Enter L. Dorimen and Placket.

L. Dor. Alas he's so very Young.

Plack. Is that a Fault, Madam?

L. Dor. Youth is necessary, but it has its inconveniences too; young Men make great over-fights.

Plack. What have been those over-fights, that put your Ladyship so out of Humour.

L. Dor. The Remembrance is insupportable.

Plack. Be pleas'd, Madam to inform me, and I'll take care to instruct him better the next time, and give him a short Lesson or two in the Closet, before I bring him in to your Ladyship.

L. Dor. Peace, I'll explain this matter another time.

Enter Lucinda.

Neice, I have been waiting for you this Hour.

Lucin. I but just heard the Coach was ready, Madam.
To Plack.] Be sure you look strictly to my Prisoners.

L. Dor. Call the Footmen and bid the Coach come up to the Door. (Exeunt.

Enter Frederick holding Constantia by one Arm, and Courtall with the other.

Fred. By your leave Gentlemen, I must expostulate this matter a little farther. One of you has injur'd me, but the Devil take me if I can tell which 'tis.

Cons. If you don't know your own Enemies, I don't know how we should.

Fred. to Cons. Pray, Sir, is not your name Courtall.

Cons. No, Sir.

Fred. to Court. Did you never make Love to my Sisters?

Court. Not I, Sir, I vow to Gad, but if you have a Sister Sir, that has any urgent occasions——

Cons. You need not press us, we are Gentlemen——

Court. And will be Volunteers in a Ladies Service.

Fred. Damme', this Trick won't pass—what are you? Men or Devils?

Cons. Not Men, Sir, I assure you——

Fred. Then I will so Conjure your Devilships.

Fred. draws, Courtall and Constantia draw.

Cons. Whatsoever we are, we are two to one Sir.

Fred. One after another Gentlemen is fair.

Cons. Your Pardon, Sir, if you attack us, we must defend our selves.

Enter Bellamour.

Fred. (seeing Bell.) Say you so, then here comes a Friend to set that matter right; you shall be marcht I promise you; one of you must be the Man I look for, but since neither will Confess, let both suffer.

Goes up to Bellamour, salute and whisper.

Court. (to Cons.) Sister, make your escape and leave me to the brunt; avoid the Peril, or resolve to discover your self.

Cons. What, leave my Friend in danger? Fie, I'll bring of all yet.

Bell. (to Fred.) I confess, Sir, I came hither on an Errand of my own, of the same kind; however, be pleas'd to dispatch, I know not how to refuse the Office you desire.
(aside) Dam'nd Customs of Honour, that expose us to the Quarrels of every body, as if our own were too few.

(they advance.

Fred. Well, Gentlemen, now we shall try your mettle upon the square.

Cons. Ha, ha, ha, why Frederick—ha, ha, ha, what! Draw upon a Woman—upon your Mistress too—for shame—you a Man, ha ha.

Fred. Hey Day! Upon a Woman! Upon my Mistress! what the Devil is all this!

Cons. Love they say is blind, have Lovers too no Eyes? Is it possible, that you cannot discover Constantia thro' any Disguise?

Fred. Constantia!

Cons. Yes, dull Lover; where is now the Sympathy and the instinct, by which you Men are always so ready to find us out? one of us is Constantia.

Bell. (to Fred.) Have you any farther Service to Command me——

Fred. Mr. Bellamour, I am asham'd of the trouble I have given you——

Bell. There needs no Apology——(Exit Bellamour.

Fred. I have heard indeed of so wonderful a resemblance between Constantia and a Twin Brother, that by exchanging of Habits, they have often impos'd upon their very Parents.

Cons. Lay aside your Choler, and we will both go Home with you: Unriddle us, and take us among you.

Fred. With all my Heart, and if I don't find a Sense for that, may all my Senses forsake me.

Cons. Come along then Oedipus.

Riddle me Riddle me re, who finds my Riddle shall have me. (Exeunt.

Aery and Vaunter ty'd down in two Chairs.

Sir J. Aery. O Vaunter, Vaunter! What a miserable Life is a Whoremaster's?

Vaun. O Repentance! why art thou never to be found but at the Gallows?

Sir J. Aery. Past Experience, might have reclaim'd us from the Folly of running after Adventures, but Human Nature is frail, and never takes warning.

Vaun. How often alas! have I lain Sweating in a Chest, for fear of a jealous Husband, that came Home before he was expected: Or stood shrinking behind the Hanging which he has prob'd with his Naked Sword, and sometimes Run me through a Leg or an Arm, without daring to cry out.

Sir J. Aery. How often have I leapt out at Window, with the Bullets of a Blunderbush whizing round my Ears.

Vaun. How often have I been beaten with my own Ladder of Ropes.

Sir J. Aery. O the Knocks and Bruises that I have endur'd.

Vaun. O the Claps and the Poxes that are not Cur'd to this Day.

Sir J. Aery. And now to be tyed Neck and Heels in order to be Rob'd and stript.

Vaun. To have our Throats Cut, and to be bury'd in a House of Office.

Sir J. Aery. Or at best to enter into Bonds forasmuch as we are worth.

Vaun. O Aery, and when our Estates are gone, what will be left us?

Sir John Aery. Not a Man will keep us Company, for fear we should borrow Money of him.

Vaun. Not a Woman will suffer us, for they think all filthy Fellows that have not Estates.

Sir J. Aery. O Vaunter, Vaunter! What a miserable Life is a Whore-Master's.

Enter Placket.

Plack. Well, Gentlemen, how do you do? have you Pray'd?

Sir J. Aery. Yes, yes, we have pray'd—(aside) That the Devil would take you and all that you belong to.

Plack. And Repented.

Vaun. And repented, heartily repented—(aside) that ever we came within these Cursed walls.

Plac. And you will never more brag of favours that you never receiv'd? Nor swear when the Lady makes her Footmen Cudgel you, that her Husband caught you a Bed with her, and that you were beaten by his order, and not hers, and that she sent you a present the next Morning to make you amends.

Aery. O never, never.

Plac. Nor write Love-Letters to your selves, with this Countess, and that Dutchess's name, and drop 'em in Chocolate-houses.

Vaun. Never, never.

Plac. Nor when the draggle tail Mask, sends for you out from Chauvisses, swear that 'tis a great Lady that shall be nameless, that has stolen from her Lord, to spend the only half hour of her liberty with you, when all her business is to borrow a shilling to pay for her Coach, or to get a glass of Rosa solis, to drive out the Wind that blows a storm in her guts, for want of having found a Fool to give her a dinner.

S. Aery. Never, as I hope to be savd, Ged demme.

Vaun. O, dear Aery, don't swear in this time of tribulation, think of your Soul, dear Aery, for God knows, we may'nt have long to live in this wicked World.

Plac. Nor hire Black-gard, and Link-boyes to be drest like Pages, to deliver you notes in Publick Places.

S. Aery. Never, never, Gadzoony—Vaunter, I hope that was no swearing.

Plac. Nor give money to the Box-keepers at the Play-house, to come in almost in every Act, to whisper you that such a Lady, and such a Lady, in such a Box, and such a Box, desire you impatiently to come to them, when no body cares for your company.

Aery. Never indeed, never.

Plac. Lastly. Nor ever refuse your Money to honest folkes, that know how to make better use of it.

Both. Never, never, Deliver us and take all we have.

Plac. Then each of you, give me a Bond for a Thousand pound, and be at liberty.

Both. We will, we will. (She unties them.

Plac. There remains yet another Article: which of you two is the Knight?

S. Aery. I am a Knight, Ged demme, a Knight Baronet; and my Name's Sr. JennVaunter, we may swear again, now we are out of danger.

Vaun. Yes, beged. The Devil was sick, the Devil a monk, would be.

S. Aery. The Devil was well, the Devil a Monk, was he, Ged demme!

Plac. Your Father was a Pimp, and was Knighted for his Services. I know your Pedigree, why then—Sr. Jenn—to be short, my Fortune has been told me, that I should be a Lady—You must Marry me.

Sr. Aery. Tie me Neck and Heels again, tie me Neck and Heels. Gad zoons, what; marry a Chamber-maid.

Plac. A Chamber-maid, saucy Fellow: I have known a Lord marry a Sempstress.

Vaun. O, Aery, dear Aery, this comes of swearing so soon. A heavy judgment for thy Sins, well, I will never swear nor be wicked, but when I am sure I'm so safe, that no harm can come on't.

Plac. Well, Sir Knight, you be worse offer'd. And I don't know but the punishment might be more to my self than you. Wherefore, on condition that you add another Thousand pound to your Bond, you shall go free.

S. Aery. With all my heart, dear Soul; Ged demme and a very good bargain.

Plac. Come in then, and Sign and Seal; but if ever you say one word of these Bonds, most certainly your Throats shall be cut.

Both. Not one word, Ged demme, beged.

Plac. You are likewise to declare before company, that you came hither by mistake. That you took this House for another, and that no body here lent for you.

Vaun. But, tell us truly: were not we sent for? Did not you meet us at the door? Lead us up stairs? Lock us into a Closet? and divert your self you know how, most unconsionably with us for near two hours——

Plac. Impudent fellow, did I ever see your Faces before—I'll call the Footmen, you shall be ty'd Neck and Heels again you shall.

Aery. Why then 'twas the oddest Dream that ever I had in my life; and I believe we came hither in our deep.

Plac. Why so you did. I never knew such a couple of lying Fellows.

S. Aery. aside.) Nor I such an impudent Bawd, Ged demme, but I dare not tell her so.

Vaun. 'Twas all a Dream, that's certain: and so we'll swear any thing that's put in our mouths.

Plac. Come in then, and perform covenants; 'tis a Charitable Office I am doing: Fools must be bitten to be made wise.

Sr. Aery. to Vaun. Would we were well off this business, and I'll swear I have lain with all the Family round, Ged demme.

Vaun. And so will I beged. (Exeunt with Placket.

Enter Angelica in Women's Apparrel, and Mask't, at one door, and Bellamour at the other.

Ang. Sir, I must entreat you to take some other Walk. This Place l have chosen for an Adventure of my own.

Bell. Had you not prevented me, Madam, I must have made you the same request. This very Place, is to determine of my Good or Bad fortune forever.

Ang. I wife I cou'd oblige you. But the Repose or Disquiet of my whole life is absolutely concern'd.

Bell. My Honour is engag'd.

Ang. And so is mine.

Bell. Your pleasure it may be. A Vizard and talk of Honour; Why is that sign let out, but to invite Passengers in? A Mask to a Woman, is like a House with a bush, the Ensign of Publick Reception.

Ang. To be short. Sir, I expect to be obey'd, and have a Rendezvous here, that admits of no Spectators.

Bell. To be short, Madam, I am to fight a Duel on this very spot: If you are not afraid to see Swords drawn, and Throats cut, you may stay—I shall begin to make ready.(Unbuttons.

Ang. Sure, Sir, you don't use to strip before Ladies.

Bell. Yes, stark naked, if I thought 'twould frighten you.

Ang. Why do, strip, I have seen many a curiosity, but never saw a naked Man in my Life.

Bell. Aside, observing her. She makes me almost forget, that I was angry. There is somewhat in that Shape, and those Motions, that raise other desires, than those I came hither to satisfie—An Air, that methinks I have seen before.—

Ang. You are considering I see, I hope 'tis to comply and be reasonable.

Bell. I perceive, Madam, you are resolv'd to be obey'd, and it is but just indeed, that the Men give way to the Ladies; but then in recompence for the Sacrifice, I make you of my Honour, you must please to unmask, and let me know for whose sake I do my self this violence.

Ang. I vow Mr. Bellamour, my misfortune is very great, since you ask nothing but what I am under an obligation, not to grant.

Bell. It seems you know me too; this heightens my curiosity, and I am now confirm'd, not to leave the place upon any other condition.

Ang. If I thought I could revenge my Sex's Quarrel, to you, by the sight, for an injury you have done a Friend of mine, I would then show you my Face. Methinks you should walk the streets in Armour: I wonder you are nor afraid to be torn to peices after so known a Treachery to Angelica.

Bell. That Treachery has been sufficiently reveng'd already, by another Treachery—

Ang. May Traytors never meet, but with Traytors: Whoever Betrays, may they be always Betray'd.

Bell. If you think the Vengeance not yet perfect, compleat it by showing me your Face: it is certain your Eyes cannot be employ'd in vain: You have too many Charms to be hid by a Mask; and those that do discover themselves, in spight of the care you take to conceal 'em, have in a moment, begun what you wish. Behold—I am ready for Execution, unmask and give the blow.

Ang. Why then prepare for your Doom. And may you be a true Prophet, I beseech Heaven.

Are you prepar'd!

Bell. Yes, Madam, and prepar'd to see somewhat that's very surprizing.

Ang. Surprizing indeed. (Unmasks.) You start:

Bell. Angelica!

Ang. Yes, perjur'd Bellamour, it is Angelica, the Credulous Angelica; whom you so basely, and so ungratefully have betray'd: And who in a disguise; unworthy her Quality, or the modesty of her Sex, has been a Witness to all your Perjuries. 'Tis that Angelica whose heart ye came hither to pierce. Behold that heart, and with a Resolution worthy the rest of your Treacheries, Pierce, Perfidious Man, Pierce it boldly: see 'tis unguarded for the blow. Alas! but a little longer, and it had broke with the weight of the injuries that opprest it. Why stand you mute? Where is your Courage fled? Why is not your Sword employ'd, that you have held twice to my Brest, with a Rage so generous? Behold, here is the Enemy you expected.

Bell. O, raise not my Confusion with Reproaches, so tender and so just: Alas! if you could look into my Breast, you would find your self, if it be possible, enough reveng'd by the shame and remorse that over-whelms me. Kneeling. Thus prostrate, the Vilest Criminals have leave, in token of Repentance, to approach the Heaven they have offended; if I may yet expect any thing from a bounty so abus'd. Oh! forgive your Kneeling Penitent. For 'tis resolv'd, and irrevocably fixt in this Perjur'd heart, either you must forgive, or with this Sword that was brought hither to be employ'd against you, I will wash away my Guilt, and Pardon'd be, or Pity'd! (She turns from him.) Ah! turn not so disdainfully away; Angelica, Angelica, thus will I haunt you ever: thus following on my Knees for mercy: What has my folly lost! I have consum'd a vast Estate, and sums immense, in search of Toyes unprofitable, and airy Treasures: I have forfeited a promis'd Heaven, to reach at fruit, scarce worth the plucking. You Weep—Are they for me; those Tears? Then Weep again, give pity a full entrance: Where there is Pity, sure there will be Mercy.

Ang. Rise, Bellamour. As I have Reason, so have I now opportunity of being cruel. But one who has already been guilty of so many weaknesses on your account, may be easily perswaded to another. Yes, Bellamour, I will forgive, but must be cautious ever how I trust you any more: we should take care how we confide a second time, having been once betray'd!

Bell. Then let me Kneel again, and Swear——

Ang. No more—I forgive all faults that are past—But if there are any more to come—Alas! I should forgive them too.

Bell. False are the tales so often told of Women's Perjuries: the Spight and Malice of detracting Men; base, base Aspersions all and false; or were they true, such goodness might atone for all.

Enter Lady Dorimen, Lucinda, Sir Toby, Philabel, and Placket.

Sir Toby. So close! What billing in open street at noon-day? Adzooks, there's an impudent Whore-master.

Phil. What proofs would you have more of his inconstancy?

Lucin. They were much to blame, Mr. Bellamour; Who gave me notice of your infidelities—What at the Feet of a new Mistress?

Bell. My Mistress and my Guardian Angel, when you know who she is; I doubt not but we shall all be Friends.

L. Dor. Indeed you, have made a good choice; she's very Handsome. But sure I have seen something very resembling that face before.

Plac. As I live, Madam, your little Spark in Petticoats.

L. Dor. It cannot be.

Phi. What strange Metamorphosis?

Sir Toby. My little Son of Love become a Daughter.

Ang. A Daughter indeed, and now the Mystery's all out; I am my self that injur'd Angelica, of whom I told you. I had no other way to do my self right, but by this manner of proceeding. Wherefore, Sir, I hope you will excuse me, and not deny me your Blessing.

Sir Toby. Adzooks no more I won't; thou hast it Child; why this was such a hocus pocus, to make thy old Daddy at his years, and experience, not to know a Man from a Woman. To Pose him in his Rudiments, in the Masculin and Feminin Gender. Adzooks I'll Double and Treble thy Portion for thy Wit.

L. Dor. For my part, Madam, I ever found an invincible inclination to Love you. Pray give me leave to embrace you.

Lucin. Now your Breeches are off, I may desire a share in your Friendship, I hope, without making any one Jealous.

Bell. That reproach is a remembrance to me, that I am to beg Pardon of all this Company, whom I desire to forget what has past, and to look on me, no longer as an Enemy.

Phil. I suppose now we are all satisfy'd! Mr. Bellamour, is as much to be valu'd as a Friend, as to be fear'd as an Enemy.

Lucin. Before I sign to this general Reconciliation, I must have a Publick clearing of some passages last night. Placket, go fetch your Prisoners.

Bell. It needs not, Madam; my Passion made me too Credulous. Those Fooles I know, go every where uninvited, and their forwardness never waits for Encouragement.

(Placket brings in Aery and Vaunter.

Plac. to them.) Remember your Lesson, as you hope to save your Ears and your Noses.

Sir J. Aery. I'll warrant you; if we have not Memory, we have nothing.

Lucin. Well Gentlemen, have you call'd to mind what brought you hither last Night.

Sir J. Airy. Yes, Madam, and we beg Ten Thousand Pardons for our Mistake. But having receiv'd Intelligence, Geddemm'e from a very beautiful Lady that lives next Door——

Phil. Next Door, Sir, I have a Relation lives there, a very Virtuous Lady, have a care what you say.

Sir J. Aery. O Law! What shall I say now; I don't mean Sir, Geddemm'e the next Door, where your Virtuous Kinswoman lives, but t' other next Door, where you have no Relations; there are two next Doors.

Vaun. Well brought of Dear Aery, beged; thou'rt an Angel Geddem me!

Lucin. A Chandler's Shop; there is not a Woman in the House under Fourscore.

Sir J. Aery. No matter for that, you shan't think to pump me so. But as I was saying, upon a small Item of the Ladies Affection, my Dear Vaunter and I intended a Civil Visit; but the nearness of the Houses, and the Dusk of the Evening, occasioned the unhappy Mistake, that has made us fall under your Ladyships Displeasure. And this now is the Truth, Geddemme, as I hope to be sav'd.

Vann. Ay, beged, this is the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth.

Lucin. This is all we had a mind to know; Gentlemen, you are Pris'ners no longer.

L. Dor. 'Tis sufficient we are all clear'd.

Bell. There needed not this strickt Examination, my own Reason had convinc'd me before.

Sir J. Aery, to Lucinda. I hope Madam this unfortunate Accident has occasion'd no breach between your Ladyship and Bellamour; Geddemm'e Bellamour, thou hast no Reason, for as I hope to be sav'd, there has nothing past between us, but a few Smiles or so—Geddemme if I ever meant to make any thing on't.

Bell. I believe you. Sir.

Phil. to Lucin. You have acquitted these Prisoners, Madam, when is my Sentence to come, and how long must I languish for your Mercy.

Sir Toby. Silence gives consent; and that pretty sly gloat with the Eyes; Oons, if Women had no Eyes, we should never know when to believe 'em.

Lucin. It were no matter, if all Mankind were blind, they are such Malicious observers; your wicked Consequences scarce allow poor Women the use of their Eyes; and we hardly dare open them for fear of some forc't ill-natur'd Interpretation.

Sir Toby. Your Pardon, Madam; I meant not to offend.

Vaun. All this looks exceedingly like Coupling, beged, what are you all going to play the Fool and Marry?

Phil. If the Ladies please, Sir, is a venture, we are all willing to run.

Ang. Call it not a venture; our Inclinations have been so try'd and prov'd, that there seems to be no hazard.

Sir Toby. I hope so too Adzooks; but 'tis still a venture, for 'tis well known, that Women are strange changeable things.

Ang. That which is often thought Change in us, is for the most part Provocation, to be reveng'd. Men are generally the Aggressors, and Women mull have a great stock of Patience and Virtue, to resist the Provocations that are Dayly giv'n 'em by their Husbands.

Lucin. If you examine strictly into the miscarriages of most Wives, you will find 'em grounded upon the neglect of their Husbands, and the Ill Usage they receive, more than their own Inclinations to Evil.

L. Dor. Resentment has made more Cuckolds than Inconstancy: Women are naturally Fond and Faithful; but they are Revengeful, and of all Provocations, Neglect is the greatest.

Ang. It is not therefore to us, but to themselves, that they owe their Misfortunes. When we are injur'd, we are no longer our selves; Disdain and Resentment Oppress our Virtue, and in that moment, a slight Temptation shall prevail with those who had before refilled the strongest.

L. Dor. Not but there are many whom nothing can entice or Provoke from their Duty.

Phil. The most Prepostrerous Abuse in Marriage is, when upon Agreement of Friends, two that know nothing of one-another's minds, are to lye together at first fight; this, as to the World, is coming together Honourably: A Woman that is sold for all her Life long, is a Wife; and she that is sold but for a Quarter of an Hour, is a Whore.

Bell. The Misfortunes in Marriage have other Causes besides; proceeding not only from the Avarice of Parents, who force their Children for Interest or some private Consideration, to marry, tho' never so Averse themselves: But from our own Ambition, preferring an Allyance or a Portion without Examining the Person; or from a rash Fancy taken at first Sight, and persu'd without consulting our Judgment.

Phil. But when Love is kept within the bounds of Prudence and Discretion, arising from Esteem, repaid with Tenderness, maintain'd by Innocence and Fidelity; 'tis then a Divine Extasie; the Fountain and Author of Peace, Tranquillity and Unutterable Joy.

Sir Toby. But why Adzooks is not this Divine Extasie to be found without marrying.

Ang. No, for what offends the Confidence, destroys the Tranquillity; and nothing that must be repented of, can be call'd Happy or Wife.

Bell. They who are Rich by indirect means, or Great by Evil Practices, or enjoy forbidden Loves, are all miserable at the bottom.

Phil. Innocence is the foundation of true Joy, and without it all Possessions are imperfect.

Ang. Marriage is therefore necessary to perfect the Felicities of Love; and I appeal to their Consciences, Men and Women, who follow unlawful Pleasures, if they have not at some times, uneasie moments: And whoever have any thing, at any time, to reproach their Consciences withal, cannot be said to be happy.

Vaun. And is this all your Opinions?

(All.) All, All.

Vaun. Why then, beged, I'll get me a Wife assoon as I can.

Sir J. Aery. Geddemme a mighty pretty Woman, and a great Fortune, not an hour ago, would have forc'd me to marry her, and beged I refus'd!

Plack. to Aery. That mighty pretty Woman and great Fortune, is still at your Service.

Sir J. Aery, to Plack. Peace, Peace, don't Disgrace me, and thou sha't have more Money. As I was saying, the Handsom'st Woman in England, is in Love with me; and I'll give my Consent before I Sleep.

Enter Courtal Fighting and retreating before Frederick, Constantia, her Perruque off, and her Hair about her Ears, pull'd in by Diana, Melissa, Dorinda, Miranda.

Fred. Fool'd, Cheated, Abus'd——

All the Sisters. Pull her to Pieces—to Pieces, with this Succubus—this she-Devil.

Cons. Help, help—I shall be devour'd by these Harpies, turn Frederick, Constantia kneels; now to you. Oh spare the Brother of Constantia, Oh Succour the Distrest Constantia.

The Company all interpose.

Sir Toby. Adzooks what Strange hurly burly have we now?

Phil. More wonders! More Transformation of Sexes!

Bell. Why Frederick, what new Mistake is this? I thought I had left this matter in a way to be reconcil'd.

Fred. Faith so I thought too; but new Mistakes have happen'd.

Court. Since thro' your Impatience and your Sisters, so throw a Discovery has been made: 'Twere Folly to pursue this Jest any farther; Constantia, 'tis time to Surrender, take Possession Frederick, and use your Discretion.

Sisters. We'll not part with her so, if you will have her, you shall have her Pricemeal—Vile Impostor, to put the Man upon us so.

Sir Toby. Not to put the Man upon you, Adzooks, there was the Devil.

Ang. These were very Innocent Ladies, not to know a Man from a Woman.

Dia. I doubt not Madam, but you have been better Instructed a long time.

Fred. Sisters, pray an Exchange of Pris'ners; what say you Courtal, are you willing to redeem your Sister, by putting your self in her place.

Court. I think, as a good Christian, I ought to make the Ladies Reparation for so many provoking Disappointments.

Fred. What says Constantia, is she willing?

Cons. Necessity has no Law; I am for Surrendring to the Power that can protect me.

Fred. In my Hands you shall never want Protection.

Frederick takes Constantia's Hand, his Sisters thrust her to him.

Mel. There take her, she's more for your purpose than ours. Constantia thrusts her Brother at them.

Cons. And there take him, whose more for your purpose than I.

Fred. O Constantia! I will so sweetly revenge my self.

Bell. Mr. Vaunter; Sir John, there are Wives for you, make your Addresses.

Vaun. Very pretty Ladies beged. (They Address to the Sisters.

Sir J. Aery. Demm'e, very pretty Ladies, your humble Servant.

L. Dor. So wonderful a resemblance I never saw. Well for my part, after so many Mistakes; never more will I believe any Man the more a Man by his outside, as the Beard makes not the Philosopher, so the Breeches make not the Man, that's certain.

Cowards in Scarlet, pass for Men of War,
And the Grave Fool, do's often Wise appear.
Trust not appearances; not Two in Ten
Deserve the generous Name of Women's Men.

Ang. As your Ladyship's Disappointments are a Lesson to the Ladies, not to trust too much to appearances, so may my Victory serve to inform Mankind, that whosoever has once entertain'd a real Passion, can never so entirely dispossess himself, but the Woman, if she Pleases may reclaim him. There is always left a Foundation to work upon; and a weakness which he himself does not suspect, till he is brought to the Tryal.

Captives in Love, try to get loose in Vain.
The Feet but slowly move, that drag a Chain
Whom Irons Clog, we may 'ore take with Ease,
None can he free, unless the Victors Please.

FINIS.