OF INTERIOR PEACE
OR
The Path to Paradise
CHAPTER I.
What is the Nature of our Heart, and how it ought to be Governed.
YOUR heart was created by God for this end alone, to be loved and possessed by Him. And with this love you can make it do whatever you wish, and every thing, however difficult it might be, will in this manner become easy to you; therefore you must in the first place gain a fixed and established intention in your heart, so that outward actions may flow from inward. For, although corporal penances, and all those exercises which chastise and afflict the flesh, are praiseworthy, when used with discretion, and when adapted to the particular, circumstances of each person, yet, if you only use such means as these, you will never gain a single virtue; but on the contrary vanity and the wind of vainglory; and all your labour will be lost, unless these outward exercises are animated and guided by right inward dispositions.
The life of man is nothing else but a warfare and a continual temptation; and in consequence of this warfare, you must live in a state of watchfulness, and ever keep a guard over your heart, so that it may continue in peace and quietness. And if you should feel the movement of some sensual disturbance within you, you must be careful to quiet it instantly, stilling your heart, and not permitting it to turn aside or wander after any of these things. Do this as often as any cause of disquietude presents itself, whether in prayer, or at any other time, and know that when you have learnt to act thus, then you will have learnt to pray aright; but remember that all this must be done sweetly and gently. In short, the whole and principal business of your life must consist in continually quieting your heart, and never letting it go astray.
CHAPTER II.
Of the Care we should have to preserve a Peaceful Spirit.
THEREFORE, above all things, you must be careful to place this sentinel of peace over all the movements of your heart; it will lead you to great things without any toil, even with great tranquillity and safety. And with this sentinel, which God has given you, you will so watch over yourself, as to gain the habits of prayer, obedience, lowliness, and of bearing injuries without loss of composure.
It is very true, that before you can attain to this degree of peace, you will have to take great pains through want of practice, but afterwards your soul will abide in a state of great consolation, whatever contradiction may befall it; and from day to day you will gain more and more the power of preserving a peaceful spirit. And, if sometimes you feel so disturbed and troubled as to be unable to pacify yourself, have recourse at once to prayer, and persevere in it, in imitation of Christ our Lord, Who prayed three times in the Garden, to give you an example, that prayer might be your only resource and refuge, and that, however sad and desponding you may feel, you must not leave off praying, until your will is conformed to the Will of God, and therefore has become devout and calm, and also full of courage and fortitude, so that it can accept and embrace that which at first was an object of dread and abhorrence—going forth thus to greet it:—"Arise, let us be going; behold, he is at hand which doth betray me."
CHAPTER III.
How this Building of Inward Peace must be gradually constructed.
BE careful, as I have before said, not to permit any thing to disturb your heart, and do not meddle with things which are likely to disquiet it, but labour ever to keep it in peace; since in this way, the Lord will build up within your soul a city of peace, and your heart shall be a house of pleasures and delights. This only He asks of you, that, when you feel agitated, you should begin again to quiet and calm yourself in all your actions and thoughts; for as a city is not built in a day, so neither must you think that this inward peace is to be acquired in a day, because this is nothing less than to build a house for the Lord, and a tabernacle for the Most High, making yourself His temple. And the Lord for Whom it is built must Himself be the Builder of it, otherwise your labour will be lost. Also consider that the grace of humility must be the entire foundation and main support of this work.
CHAPTER IV.
How the Soul must refuse all Consolations, for this is true Humility and Poverty of Spirit, by which Interior Peace is acquired.
IF you would enter by this gate of humility (for there is no other entrance), you must toil and make every effort, especially in the beginning, to embrace tribulation and adversity as your dear sisters—desiring to be despised by all, and to have no one who entertains a favourable opinion of you, or brings you comfort, but your God. Fix deeply in your heart the impression, that God alone is your God, your only Refuge, and that all things else are thorns to you, which will wound you, if you press them to your heart. And if some affront is offered you, be very glad of it, and bear it with joy, being assured, that, because of it, God is with you; and desire no other honour, and seek nothing else but to suffer for love of Him, and whatever may redound to His greater Glory. Strive to rejoice, when others use towards you injurious, reproachful, or contemptuous words; for a great treasure lies hid under the dust, and if you willingly accept it, you will soon find yourself rich, though the one who has enriched you is unconscious of the benefit he has been the means of conferring upon you. Do not seek for the love or good opinion of any one in this life, that you may be left to suffer with Jesus Crucified, and have no one to hinder you. Be on your guard against yourself, as the greatest enemy you have. Do not follow your own will, your own disposition, your own judgment, if you would not destroy yourself. For this purpose you have need of arms to defend yourself from yourself; and when your will craves for anything—however right the thing may be—always place it first, detached and naked and with deep humility, before your Lord, beseeching Him that not your will but His may be done in it. And do this with desires wholly mortified, and without any admixture of self-love, knowing that you are nothing, and can do nothing of yourself. Beware of your own opinions, which bear with them an appearance of sanctity and indiscreet zeal, against which the Lord cautions us: "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves; by their fruits ye shall know them." Their fruits are the loss of inward peace and quietness. Everything which separates you from humility, peace, and inward tranquillity, in whatsoever dress or disguise it presents itself, is to you a false prophet, one of those who in sheep's clothing, that is, under the pretext of zeal, and of lending some indiscreet aid to your neighbour, are ravening wolves, which prey upon your humility and on the peace and quietness which are so necessary for all who seek real progress. And the greater the show of holiness in anything, the more narrowly should it be examined; and this (as it has been before said) should be done in a spirit of repose and calmness. And if at times you should fail in something of this kind, be not disturbed, but humble yourself before your Lord, acknowledge your weakness, and learn a lesson for the future. Perhaps God has permitted you to fail, in order that He may bring down your pride, which is still lurking within you, and you are not aware of it. If sometimes you feel your spirit pricked by some sharp and poisonous thorn, do not be disturbed because of it, but watch more diligently, lest it go further, and penetrate still more deeply. Withdraw your heart, and gently bring away your will into its abode of peace and quietness; keep your soul purely for God, Whom you will ever find in your inmost parts and in the depth of your heart because of the uprightness of your intention. Be assured that everything happens in order to prove you; and that in this way He may fit you for the good which is yours, and that you may be worthy of that crown of righteousness which by His Infinite Mercy is prepared for you.
CHAPTER V.
How the Soul should keep herself in a state of inward Solitude, that God may work within her.
SET, then, very high value on your soul, since the Father of fathers, and Lord of lords, has created it for His own abode and temple. Esteem it so highly, as never to suffer it to be degraded nor to incline to any other object. Let your desires and your hopes be ever directed towards the coming of your Lord, Who will not visit your soul unless it remains in solitude. Do not suppose, that in the presence of others He will open His lips, unless it be with words of reproach and abandonment. He wills that the soul shall be alone, having put aside, as far as may be, its own thoughts, its own desires, and, what is much more to the purpose, its own will. Yet you ought not to impose penances indiscreetly on yourself, nor go in quest of opportunities of suffering for the love of God, simply under the guidance of your own will; but only with the advice of your spiritual father, and of those who are over you, and who, under God, have the rule over you, for He, using them as His instruments, disposes your will to do whatever He wills, and in the way that He wills. You are not to do your own will, but to let God do in you what He wills. Let your will be always so freed from self, as to have no desire of your own; and if you have a desire concerning any thing, desire it only in such a manner as not to feel regret, if you should be thwarted in it, but that your peace of mind may remain as undisturbed as if you had entertained no wish in the matter. This is true liberty of spirit, not to bind one's self to any thing. If you yield up your soul to God in this state of detachment, unfettered and alone, you will see the wonders God will work in you. O wonderful solitude and secret chamber of the Most High, where only He will give audience, and speak to the inmost soul! O desert, thus made a Paradise, since in it alone God vouchsafes to be seen, and to be conversed with! "I will turn aside, and see this great sight." But if you would come hither, enter barefoot upon this ground, for it is holy. First, put off your shoes from your feet, that is, your affections from your soul, and leave them bare and free; carry neither purse nor scrip for this road; for you must desire nothing in this world, whatever others may seek; neither salute any one; fix all your thoughts and affections upon God alone, and not on creatures; leave the dead to bury the dead; you go your way to the land of the living, and let death have no part in you.
CHAPTER VI.
Of the Prudence which we ought to exercise in the Love of our Neighbour, so as not to disturb this Peace.
EXPERIENCE itself will show you, if you will make trial of it, that this path of charity and love towards God and our neighbour is the most clear and plain road leading to eternal life. The Lord said that He "came to send fire upon the earth," and that His only desire was "that it be kindled." But although the love of God has no bounds, that for our neighbour should have; for, if it is not properly moderated, it might become a cause of great injury to you, and lead you, through gaining others, to be lost and ruined yourself. You must love your neighbour only in such a way as not to hurt your own soul. Although you are bound to set a good example, yet you must not be actuated by that motive only, else you will lose all benefit to yourself. Act in all things with simplicity and piety, without respect to any thing but to please God alone. Be humble in all you do, and you will realise what little benefit the example of such an one as you are, can be to others. Remember that your zeal and fervour for souls must not be such as to destroy your own quiet and peace. Have a burning thirst and longing that all others may know the truth which you know and understand, and be inebriated with that wine which God to each one promises and gives without price.
This thirst for the salvation of your neighbour you ought to have always; but it should take its source from your love for God, and not from your own indiscreet zeal. God must plant it in your soul, separated from all others, and must gather the fruits of it when He wills. Sow nothing of yourself alone, but offer to God the ground of your soul, pure, and cleared of every thing: for then He will sow it with His own seed as He pleases, and so shall it yield fruit. Ever remember that God wills the soul to be alone, and detached from all, that He may unite it to Himself. Only allow Him to choose you, and do not hinder Him by your free-will. Sit without a thought of yourself, save that of pleasing God, waiting to be guided to what you have to do; for the Father of the house has already gone forth, and is seeking labourers. Lose all care and thought, strip off all anxiety about yourself, and all affection for earthly things, so that God may clothe you with Himself, and give you what is beyond your power to conceive. Forget yourself entirely, as much as possible, and let the love of God alone live in your soul. Of all that has been said, let this abide with you, that with all diligence (or, to put it better, with all diligence save that which disquiets) you must calm your zeal and fervour with great moderation, that so you may keep God within you, with all peace and tranquillity, lest you lose the capital of your own soul, which is of the first importance, by indiscreetly putting it out to interest for the sake of others. A silence, preserved in the way we have said, is a strong cry in the ear of God; inaction from this cause is that which alone you must traffic with, if you would be rich towards God, for this is nothing else but to resign your soul to God, detached from all things. And this you must do without taking any credit to yourself, or imagining that you are doing something; for God does all, and on your side the Lord wills only that you should humble yourself in His Sight, and offer to Him a soul, free, and wholly detached from earthly things, with the inward desire that His Divine Will may be most perfectly, in all and through all, accomplished in you.
CHAPTER VII.
How the Soul, despoiled of its own Will, must present itself before God.
YOU should begin, then, by degrees in this way, trusting sweetly in the same Lord Who calls you, saying:—"Come unto Me, all ye that travail, and are heavy laden, and I will refresh you." 'All ye that are athirst come to the Fountain.' This movement and Divine call you ought to follow, awaiting the inspiration with it of the Holy Spirit, that you may resolutely and blindly cast yourself into the sea of this Divine Providence and of the Eternal GoodPleasure, praying that it may be done in you, and that thus you may be irresistibly borne onward on the mighty waves of the Divine Will to the haven of your own individual perfection and salvation.
Having made this act, you should repeat it a hundred, a thousand times a day, labouring and endeavouring with all possible confidence to draw near, both inwardly and outwardly, with all the powers of your soul to those things which stir you up, and make you praise, love and trust God. And let these acts always be without force or violence to your heart; for if they are done with indiscreetness and eagerness, they may serve to weaken, and perhaps to harden you, and to render you incapable of them. Take the advice of those who are experienced, and seek to make it a habit, always in desire, and as frequently as possible in act, to give yourself to the contemplation of God's Goodness, and of His constant and tender blessings, and to receive with humility the drops which from His inestimable Goodness distil into your soul. Be on your guard against forcing yourself to shed tears or feel sensibly affected in your devotions, but be still, and with an interior solitude, wait until the Will of God be wrought in you; and when He gives you the feeling of devotion, it will be sweet, and come without effort or constraint on your part, and then accept it with all gentleness and tranquillity, and, above all, with all lowliness.
The key with which you can open the secrets of the spiritual treasury is, the knowledge how to deny yourself always and in all things; and the same key fastens the door upon distaste and dryness of spirit, when it springs from our own fault; for that dryness which God sends must be classed with the other treasures of the soul.
Delight to remain with Mary at the feet of Christ, and to listen to the words of your Lord. Take care that your enemies (of whom you are yourself the chief) do not hinder this holy silence. And when you seek God with your understanding, in order to find repose in Him, remember that you must not assign any limits to Him, or make any comparisons with your feeble and narrow imagination, for He is above all comparisons, and is Infinite, and is found through all, and in all, and all things are in Him. You will find Him present within your own soul, whenever you truly seek Him, that is to say, when you seek Him and not yourself; for His delights are to be with us, the children of men, to make us worthy of Him, since He has no need of us.
When you meditate do not bind yourself to certain points, so as never to depart from them, but wherever you find repose, there stop and taste the Lord, in whatever part of the way He shall be pleased to reveal Himself to you; and though you have made a digression, you need have no scruples, for the whole end of these exercises is to taste the Lord, with the intention, indeed, not of making the enjoyment itself the principal end, but rather of becoming more and more touched with the beauty of His works, and so drawn to imitate Him as much as possible. And when you have found the end, you have no reason to be any longer anxious about the means which are arranged for the purpose of attaining it. One of the hindrances to true peace and tranquillity, is the anxiety and carefulness with which we approach such exercises, chaining the spirit, and dragging it this way or that, thus dictating to God as to the way we would be led, and forcing it to go on the path of our own devising; thinking more of doing our own will in this than the Will of our Lord, which is nothing else than to seek God by flying from God, and to desire to content Him without doing His Will. If you really desire to make way on this path, and to reach the desired end, you must have no other aim or desire but to find God; and wherever He is pleased to manifest Himself to you, leave all else, and go no further as long as He wills to detain you, forgetting all things for the time, and reposing in your Lord. And when it pleases His Divine Majesty to retire and to manifest Himself no longer, then you may return to the path of your meditation, and seek Him by continuing it, having ever the same purpose and desire before you—to find by these means Him Whom you love; and having found Him, do as we have said, leave all else, with the consciousness that His desire is fulfilled.
This advice demands your attentive consideration; for many spiritual persons lose the fruits and the peace of their meditations by wearying themselves in them, imagining they have done nothing, unless every point has been used, and making the perfection of the meditation to consist in this mastership of the will, living and toiling after this, as one who labours at a task, without ever attaining that true repose and interior peace wherein the Lord truly abides and rests.
CHAPTER VIII.
Of the Faith we should have in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar; and how we should Offer ourselves unto the Lord.
STRIVE daily, that faith in the most Holy Sacrament may increase and grow in your soul, and never cease to excite admiration and joy at so incomprehensible a Mystery, considering how God manifests Himself under these mean and simple elements to make you more worthy; for "Blessed are they who see not and yet believe." Do not desire Him in this life ever to manifest Himself under any other form. Endeavour to inflame your will towards Him, and to become more and more ready ever to do His Will in all things. When you offer yourself to God in this Sacrament, you must be disposed and prepared to suffer, for love of Him, all torments, pains, and injuries which may happen to you, and all sickness, distaste, and dryness of spirit in prayer or at other times; thinking that you have to endure all this very often, and must take it in good part, and be careful never to be the cause of it yourself; and all your delight must be to suffer with your dear and loving Jesus, and out of love to Him. Be not inconstant in what you commence, wishing one thing one day, and another thing the next, but persevere and be steadfast; and be sure that, by using these means (yet always making efforts with the gentleness we have described), it is impossible but that you should endure even to the end; for without this peace you cannot live even an hour, for it would be an intolerable suffering to you.
CHAPTER IX.
That we ought not to seek Pleasures, nor the things which gratify our Tastes; but God Alone.
ALWAYS choose toil, and love to be without the consolations of particular friendships and favours, which do not bring any profit with them to the soul; and rejoice to be ever subject to, and dependent on the will of others.
Let every thing be a means of leading you to God, and let nothing detain you on the way. This should- be your consolation, that every. thing is bitter to you, and God your only repose. Let all your labours be directed to your Lord; love Him, and give to Him your whole heart without fear; for He will find a good way to solve all your doubts, and will restore you when you fall. Lastly, in one word, if you will love Him, you shall possess all good. Offer yourself to God for a sacrifice, in peace and quietness of spirit. And the better to advance in this journey, and to bear yourself up without weariness and vexation, you should at every step dispose your soul, by expanding your will to the extent of the Divine Will. The more your will is thus expanded, the more you will receive. Your will must be thus disposed, to will or not to will in every case, according as God wills or does not will it. Always at every step renew your purpose of pleasing God, and do not determine upon what course you will pursue, except for the passing moment, but for the future keep yourself free. No one, however, is forbidden to exercise a proper prudence and diligence in providing for necessaries, according to his position. For this is according to the Will of God, and is no impediment to peace or genuine spiritual progress. Let your purpose be in all things to do your duty according to your ability, and be indifferent and resigned as to all results, which are beyond you.
There is one thing always in your power, and that is to offer to God your will, and desire no longer to will any thing of yourself; for as soon as you have this freedom, and are detached on all sides (which you can be always and everywhere, when occupied or not), you will enjoy tranquillity and peace. In this freedom of spirit consists the great good which you have in view. This freedom is nothing else than the perseverance of the interior man within himself, without going forth to will, desire, or seek any thing out of himself; and all the time you abide in this state of liberty, you will rejoice in that divine servitude, which is the great kingdom that is within us.
CHAPTER X.
That the Servant of God must not be Discouraged, though he feel within himself some Repugnance and Disquiet as to this Peace.
EXPECT often to feel disturbed, and deprived of this holy and sweet solitude, and precious liberty; for from the emotions of your heart, a cloud of dust will sometimes arise, which will give you much trouble on the road you have to go. God permits this for your greater good. Remember that this is the war in which the Saints have carried off crowns of great merit. In all the things which disturb you, say—"Behold, Lord, Thy servant; let Thy Will be done in me. I know and confess that the truth of Thy Word shall stand fast for ever; and Thy promises are sure, and in them do I trust. Behold Thy creature; do with me what Thou wilt. I have nothing, my God, that holds me back. I am Thine alone."
Happy is the soul which thus offers itself to its Lord, every time it is troubled and disturbed. And if the struggle last long, and you cannot as quickly as you would wish bring your will into conformity with the Will of God, be not on this account discouraged or bewildered: persevere in self-oblation and prayer, and you shall gain the victory.
Look at Christ's conflict in the Garden, and how His Humanity recoiled from it, saying, "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from Me." But at once He placed His soul in solitude, and with a will free and detached, said with deep humility,—"Nevertheless, not My will, but Thine be done." 'See and act according to this pattern.' Do not move a step, when you find yourself in any difficulty, until you have raised your eyes to Christ on the Cross; for there you will see written and stamped in large characters, how you ought to act. Copy faithfully this Example. Be not dismayed, if sometimes your own love of self disturbs you; do not leave the cross, but return to prayer, and persevere in lowliness till you have lost your own will, and will only that God's Will may be done in you. And if, when you leave off praying, you have gathered only this one fruit, be contented; but if you have not achieved this, your soul will remain empty and hungry. Strive not to brood over any thing, even for a short time, but to let God Alone dwell in your heart.
Do not harbour a feeling of gall or bitterness towards any thing or person, and do not let your eyes rest on the malice and bad example of others, but be like a little child, who has no consciousness of these bitter feelings, and passes through the midst of them offenceless.
CHAPTER XI.
Of the Diligence which the Devil employs to disturb this Peace, and how we ought to guard ourselves against his Devices.
AS it is our adversary's custom to seek to devour souls, he uses every possible means to lead us to forsake humility and simplicity, and to make us attribute something to ourselves, to our own industry and efforts, irrespective of the grace which is given to us, without which no one can name the Name of Jesus.
And though of ourselves by the exercise of our free-will, we can resist this grace, we cannot even receive it without its assistance. Thus, if any man does not receive grace, it is his own fault; but if he does receive it, he can only do so through the same grace—a grace, however, which is sufficiently bestowed upon all. Our adversary, then, would make us think and believe that of ourselves we are more diligent than others, and that we are better disposed for receiving the gifts of God, and in this way would lead us to pride, and make us forgetful of our own insufficiency, when unaided, and then would induce us to despise others in our hearts, who do not the same good works that we do.
Therefore, unless you are very watchful, and instantly turn with all promptness to humble, abase, and annihilate self (as has been said), he will make you fall into pride, like the Pharisee of whom you read in the Gospel, who gloried in his own good deeds, and condemned the deeds of others. And if in this manner he should ever get possession of your will, he will make himself master of it, and put into it all kinds of vices, to your great hurt and peril. And therefore the Lord warns us to watch and pray. It is indispensable, then, that you should use the utmost vigilance, in order to prevent the enemy from robbing you of so great a treasure as peace and quietness of mind; for with all his might he tries to deprive you of this repose, and to make you live in continual unrest, knowing that such a state is fraught with danger and injury to your soul: for if a soul is at peace, all things are done with ease, and great things are done well; hence it willingly perseveres and surmounts all opposition with ease. And on the other hand, if it is disturbed and unquiet, it does but little, and that little very imperfectly, and soon becomes weary, and, in fact, lives in a fruitless martyrdom. If you wish, then, to come off victorious, and to foil the enemy, when he attempts to destroy your labours, there is nothing about which you must be more on your guard than not to let your soul become disturbed, nor to consent even for a moment to any temptation to disquietude.
And that you may know the better how to guard yourself against the wiles of the enemy, make it a certain rule in this case, that every thought which discourages you and lessens your love and confidence towards God, is a messenger from hell, and therefore to be driven away, and banished from your presence without an audience. For the office of the Holy Spirit is none other than always to unite the soul on all opportunities more and more closely with God, enkindling and inflaming it with His sweet love, and with fresh confidence in Him; whilst the work of the devil ever points in the opposite direction, and consists in the employment of all means in his power, such as, inordinate fear, exaggeration of our natural weakness; scruples as to the dispositions for Confession, Communion, or prayer, so that by these suggestions he may render us distrustful, fearful, and restless. The absence of warm feelings in our devotions, of delight in our prayers and other exercises, he uses as an opportunity for producing impatient sadness, construing it into a sign that all is lost, and into a reason for discontinuing our spiritual exercises; and finally into a ground for despair, so that, do what we will, we think it will be in vain and fruitless. Thus sadness and fear go on increasing, till we imagine that we are forgotten by God. But this is not the truth; for innumerable benefits are derived from dryness and the absence of devotional feelings, if only we understood what God by these means would work in us, provided we on our part would exercise patience and persevere in well-doing to the best of our power. And that I may make this more clear to you, and that the great advantages which God wills to bestow upon you may not, through your want of preception, tend to your hurt, I will briefly state what are the blessings of humble perseverance in these dry devotions, that, bearing these in mind, you may not lose your peace, when you suffer from this dryness of spirit and oppression of heart in consequence of lack of sweetness and consolation in devotion, or of any other temptation, however horrible it may be.
CHAPTER XII.
That the Soul ought not to Disquiet itself on account of inward Trials.
MANY blessings come to the soul through bitterness and dryness of spirit, when it is received with humility and patience. If we understood this, doubtless when we were visited in this way, we should be less disturbed and afflicted by it; because we should not regard it as a token of our Lord's hatred, but rather of His great and special love, and we should receive it as a signal grace which He conferred upon us. This is very evident, from the fact that no one experiences these trials except those persons who desire to give themselves in a more especial way to the service of God, and to keep far from every thing which may offend Him; and to such persons, these trials do not commonly happen in the beginning of their conversion, but after they have for some time served the Lord, and when they are forming resolutions to serve Him more perfectly, and have already begun to do so.
But we never find that sinners, and those who have given themselves to the things of the world, have to lament such trials; whence it is clearly manifest that this is a precious food with which God feasts those whom He loves; and although it may be insipid to our taste, yet it is a marvellous help, though at the time we are not conscious of it. For the soul finding itself in such a state of dryness, and, in addition to that trial, having to endure temptations the very thought of which seems scandalous, is led by this means to such a fear and loathing of self, and to such a state of lowliness as God desires; although, as it has been said, the soul not knowing at the time this secret, abhorred and recoiled from this discipline, as one who is unwilling ever to be left without sweetness and consolation, and who, when these are absent, esteems all other exercises to be but loss of time and labour without profit.
CHAPTER XIII.
That Temptations are sent us by God for our good.
TO comprehend, then, more particularly, how it is that temptations are sent us by God for our good, we must consider, that man, because of the evil inclinations of corrupt nature, is proud, ambitious, conceited, and always thinks himself to be more than he is. This self-esteem is so dangerous to true spiritual progress, that the very scent of it is enough to hinder the attainment of perfection. Therefore our most faithful God, in that loving Providence which He exercises over each one, and especially over those who have truly given themselves up to His service, takes care to place us in positions where we may escape so great a danger; so that we are as it were forced to come to a true knowledge of ourselves.
He acted thus with the Apostle St. Peter, permitting him to deny Him, that thus he might know himself, and no longer be self-confident; and with the Apostle St. Paul, who, after he had been caught up to the third heaven, and had heard Divine secrets, was visited with a troublesome temptation, to the end that, knowing his natural weakness, he might remain humble, glorying only in his infirmities; and that the greatness of the revelations which God made to him, should not lead him to presumption, as he himself says.
God, then, moved by compassion for our misery and perverse inclinations, permits these temptations to come upon us, and sometimes to be very horrible, and to come under different forms, that we may humble ourselves and know ourselves, though they seem to us to be useless. It is in this way He manifests His Goodness and Wisdom in making things which seem to us most hurtful to be most helpful, in that through them we become more humble—which is the thing above all others our souls need. For it generally happens that the servant of God, who is thus tried by thoughts such as these, by indevotion and dryness of spirit, concludes that they arise from his own imperfections, and that there cannot be another soul so imperfect and so lukewarm as his own; and he believes that such thoughts come only to those who are forsaken by God, and that he himself, therefore, deserves to be forsaken by Him. It follows, then, that he, who once thought himself to be something, is now brought, by this bitter medicine, sent him from God, to regard himself as the most depraved person in the world, and as one unworthy to be called a Christian; and he never would have arrived at this low opinion of himself, nor attained to such a depth of humility, had he not been sorely tried, and forced as it were to it by these extraordinary temptations.
There is one favour which God confers on the soul in this life which has placed itself back and given itself up into His Hands, and that is, to give it whatever medicine He pleases, and to administer that which He in His perfect knowledge sees the soul stands in need of for its health and well-being.
Again, besides this fruit, which our souls gain from such trials as lack of devotion, there are many others; thus, he who is so afflicted, is as it were constrained to have recourse to God, and to seek to do good works, as a remedy for his distress; and in the same way, in order to free himself from such torture, he sets about examining his heart, avoiding all sin, and every thing which seems to be imperfect, or which may in any way place him at a distance from God. And thus this trial, which in his judgment appeared to be so adverse and hurtful, served for a lash to make him run towards God with greater fervour, and keep away from every thing which he thinks is not in conformity with the Divine Will. And lastly, all these trials, and all the toil and travail the soul endures, whilst braving these temptations and withdrawals of spiritual delight, are but a loving purgatory, if (as has been already said) they are borne with humility and patience; and they will help us to win that crown in Heaven, which otherwise we could not obtain, the glory of which will be in proportion to the toil and pain through which it was gained.
Hence we see how little ground there is for that discontent or that alarm which inexperienced persons entertain, who attribute this trial to the devil, or to their own sins and imperfections, when it comes to them from the Hand of God.
Tokens of love they take as signs of hatred, and imagine that these Divine favours and caresses are blows which come from an enraged heart, and believe that all they do is lost and worthless, and that this loss is irremediable. Whereas did they but rightly believe, that not only was there no loss, but great gain, (if the soul properly used the opportunity, as it always has the power of doing,) and that all was an evidence of God's loving remembrance of us; it would not be possible for them to be disquieted or to lose peace, because they perceived themselves to be troubled with many temptations and imaginations, and found themselves dry and indevout in prayer and other exercises. On the contrary, they would with fresh perseverance humble their souls in the sight of the Lord, purposing in all and through all to accomplish the Divine Will, in whatever manner the Lord may will to be served by them in this world; using diligence to keep themselves peaceful and tranquil, taking every thing from the Hand of their Heavenly Father, in Whose Hand alone is the cup from which they have to drink.
For whether the trouble and temptation arise from the devil, or from men, or on account of sins, or in whatever way, it is always God Who gives it to you, though it reaches you through various channels, as it pleases Him; since it is only the evil of the pain which reaches you, and this is always ordered for your good. Though, however, the evil of the fault itself—for example, an act of injury or insult committed by your neighbour —is contrary to His Will, yet as far as you are concerned, He makes use of it for your benefit and salvation. Therefore, instead of giving way to sadness and discontent, you should give thanks with inward joy and gladness, doing every thing that lies in your power with perseverance and resolution, without losing time, and with that loss the many and great rewards, which God wills that you should gain by this opportunity which He presents to you.
CHAPTER XIV.
Of the Remedy which we ought to use, so as not to be disquieted under Faults and Infirmities.
IF sometimes you should fall into some sin or negligence in word or deed, such as disturbing yourself at any thing which happens to you, or murmuring, or listening to murmuring, or falling into some dispute or irritation, or curiosity, or suspicion of others, or into any other fault, whether it be one or many falls; in a certain way you ought not to be disturbed nor disheartened nor saddened at the thought of what has happened, nor be confounded within yourself; at one time, believing that you will never be free from such infirmities; at another, that your faults and irresolution are the cause of them; or again, imagining that you are not walking in the spirit and way of the Lord; and thus with a thousand other fears, pressing down your soul at every step with discontent and cowardice. Hence it follows, that you feel ashamed to present yourself before God, or you do so in a spirit of distrust, as though you had not preserved that faith in Him which is His due; and, as a remedy, you waste time in pondering over these things, scrutinizing how much you harboured the thought, and whether you consented to it; whether it was voluntary or not, or was at once put away. And, from taking the wrong road, the more you think of it, the less you are able to make up your mind about it, and the more your weariness and perplexity increase, and your anxiety to confess it; and so you go to confession with a tedious fear, and, after having lost much time in making your confession, your spirit is even more uneasy than it was before it, for fear that you have not told all; thus your life is one spent in bitterness and anxiety, with little fruit, and with the loss in a great measure of its reward.
And all this comes from not knowing your own natural weakness, and the way the soul should treat with God. For after having fallen into all the faults we have enumerated, or into any others, we may more easily treat with God by a humble and loving conversion, than by the spirit of grief and discontent at the fault itself, in the case of the examination into venial and ordinary sins, to which alone I now allude. For it is only into such sins as these a soul is wont to fall, which lives in the manner I am now supposing; and I am speaking only of those persons who lead a spiritual life, and are striving to advance in it, and are free from mortal sin. For those who live carelessly, and in mortal sin, and are always more or less offending God, have need of a different kind of exhortation; and this medicine is not for them. For such persons should be troubled and ought to weep, and to make their examination and confession with much thought, lest through their own fault and indifference, they render the remedy which is necessary for their salvation unavailing. To return, then, to speak of the quiet and peace in which the servant of God should ever abide, I will go further and say, that this conversion must be understood to apply—in order that there might be entire trust in God—not only to slight and daily faults, but also to such as are greater and more grave than usual, if at any time the Lord should permit you to fall into such; even though they may be many together, and are not merely the effects of weakness and frailty, but of wilfulness. For the contrition which only disturbed the soul and filled it with scruples, will never lead it to perfection, unless it is combined with this loving confidence in the Goodness and Mercy of God. And this is more especially necessary in the case of persons, who not only seek to rise out of their miseries, but would also acquire a high degree of sanctity, and a great love for, and union with, God. Many spiritual persons, from not wishing to understand this aright, ever bear about with them a heart and a spirit, broken and distrustful, which the higher graces, which one after another God has prepared for them. These often lead a sort of life which is very wretched, useless, and pitiable, because they will follow only their own imaginations, and will not embrace the true and wholesome doctrine which leads by the royal road to the high and solid virtues of the Christian life, and to that peace which was left us by Christ Himself.
Such persons, whenever they find themselves in some disquietude through doubts of conscience, should seek the counsel of their spiritual father, or of some one whom they think capable of giving them the advice they need, and should commit themselves to him, and rest entirely in his judgment. The conclusion of what we have to say concerning the disquietude which arises from failings, will be found in the following chapter.
CHAPTER XV.
How the Soul, without loss of Time, should recover Calmness, and make Progress.
TAKE this rule, whenever you fall into a fault, be it great or small, though you may have committed the same four thousand times in a day, and always voluntarily and with advertency; never allow yourself to fall into a state of morose bitterness, and do not be disquieted, nor waste your time by scrutinising yourself, but at once acknowledge what you have done, and, humbly regarding your own weakness, turn lovingly to your God, and say to Him with your lips, or with your mind only: “Lord, I have done this, being what I am, and nothing else could be expected from me save only these and similar faults; and I should not have stopped where I did, had not Thy Goodness lifted me up, and continued with me. I give Thee thanks for that from which Thou hast preserved me, and I grieve over that which I have done through not corresponding with Thy grace. Pardon me, and give me grace that I may never offend Thee any more; and may nothing ever separate me from Thee, Whom I desire ever to serve and to obey." Having done this, do not waste time in anxious thoughts, imagining that the Lord has not forgiven you, but in a spirit of faith and repose continue your exercises, as if you had not fallen at all; and this you must do not only once, but a hundred times, if it is needed, and at every moment, and with the same confidence and repose the last time as the first; for in this way you will do great honour to the Goodness of God, Whom you are bound to conceive of as All-Gracious, and Infinite in Pitifulness beyond all that you can imagine.
Thus, nothing will come to disturb your progress, your perseverance and your onward course; nor will you let time pass away vainly and fruitlessly. And, moreover, you may, by thus acting, even turn your sin and failing to account, rising from it with an intense act of acknowledgment of your misery, and of self-abasement before God; accompanying it with an act of acknowledgment of His Mercy—loving and exalting it. And this very fall will enable you to rise higher than you were before you fell, through the help which God gives you, provided you make good use of it. If those who are of an anxious and restless temperament, would give heed to what has been here said, they would discover how great is their blindness in thus, to their own great hurt, losing time. And this warning should be carefully noted, for it is one of the keys which the soul has for unlocking great spiritual treasures, and thereby for becoming in a short time rich.
MUIR AND PATERSON, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH.