Mr. Flonatin Shows More Valour Than Discretion and Gets into Trouble
In undertaking to see Mrs. Ytidrusba and endeavour to work upon her feelings, so that the husband's position might be ameliorated, Mr. Flonatin was actuated by the broadest of philanthropic motives, and the fears of Mr. Ytidrusba that such an interview could scarcely fail to lead to unpleasantness Flin laughed at. He had always been used to see woman in her proper station, and the idea of her ruling and keeping man in a state that was only one degree removed from serfdom was so contrary to all his ideas that he could not realise it, and thought that such a condition could only be due to the want of some proper manly feeling on the part of the male sex in Esnesnon. Under these circumstances he believed he was perfectly justified, in the interest of his sex, to try and emancipate Esnesnon from feminine rule, and that by beginning with Mrs Ytidrusba the thin edge of the wedge would be got in. Nor did he, on consideration, anticipate much difficulty. He had hitherto flattered himself that he possessed considerable influence over ladies. This was certainly the case in his own country, where the dear creatures worshipped him, but like most travellers he was inclined to judge every other nation by his own standard. He went into a strange country. He saw new customs, new ideas, new systems, new beliefs, and because they were new and strange to him, he at once made the common error of imagining that they must be ridiculous because they were unlike those he had been used to.
In saying this much I hope it will not be thought that I am supporting Esnesnon against Mr. Flonatin. Far from that. But I am strongly desirous of being impartial, and I know that the error into which our traveller fell is such a common one with all persons who go out of their own country, that I feel that something ought to be done to correct it. If anyone were to travel to the moon, and discover that the inhabitants of the planet walked upon their heads instead of their feet, he would not be justified in returning here and reporting that the lunar orb was peopled by lunatics, as the peculiar custom would no doubt be suited to the peculiar country.
It will be readily understood that unused, poor fellow, as he was to female rule, Mr. Flonatin could not help looking with contempt upon the male population. He had not been ground under the iron of wifely rule, and therefore it would have been difficult to have imagined anyone less qualified for the task he had set himself. But though Ytidrusba cautioned him of the risk he ran, he only laughed, and seemed to treat it as a good joke, for he imagined petticoat government to be the very height of absurdity.
Unfortunately for him at this time the Princess Yobmot was away, as she had gone to a far distant part of the country on some political business in connection with her father's Court. And before going she had given Ytidrusba strict injunctions to take every care of Flin, or, as she playfully called him, her little sweetheart. The magician was therefore very reluctant to give his consent to Flin's scheme, but the latter ultimately overcame the old man's scruples, and it was arranged that Flin should see what he could do with Mrs. Ytidrusba. This lady was a power in the land. Her influence at Court was immense, and in the Parliament her voice was, perhaps, one of the loudest and strongest. This is to be taken in a moral sense, for, physically, her voice was rather weak and decidedly squeaky.
The day fixed for the interview came at last, and Mr. Flonatin was ushered into the great lady's presence, who received him with frigid dignity, not altogether unmingled with contempt. She was a woman of very commanding presence, towering far above Flin in height; and if she ever had possessed anything like beauty, it had long ago faded out, and left nothing but a sour, crabbed look. As the distinguished traveller entered the room he bowed very low indeed. The lady returned his bow by a very stiff movement, and then, raising a large diamond magnifier to her eye, she examined her visitor curiously, and it was evident that she only refrained from bursting into a loud laugh with the greatest difficulty. Mr Flonatin was, of course, very much annoyed, and he states that he cannot imagine what she could possibly have found either to laugh at or stare at, and he could only pardon her rudeness on the ground that she was an utter barbarian.
The lady was the first to speak.
"Well, my funny little fellow," she remarked, with a good deal of sarcasm, "and what is your pleasure?".
Flin's face went very red. He thought that this marked disrespect would have disgraced even the most vulgar and the lowest-bred female in his own country. Moreover, he could not imagine why she addressed him as a "funny little fellow." He had never in his life had the slightest pretensions to funniness. Comicality was out of his line. He was a thoughtful, grave, scientific man. This was evidenced by the total disregard he had for anything like dandyism. In fact, he had been in the habit of looking upon that man who paid much attention to dress as decidedly effeminate; and, therefore, he was considerably exercised in his mind to know in what way he was "funny." Possibly Mrs Ytidrusba would speedily have given a reason for so addressing him, had she been requested to do so. For we cannot always see ourselves as we are seen by others. However, Flin managed to keep down his choler, but he was strengthened in his purpose to use every endeavour to awaken the male sex of Esnesnon to a sense of their utter degradation and to incite them to revolt against the feminine rule. As a stranger in the new world, this was, to say the least, a very dangerous resolve; and it is more than probable that had he been better acquainted with the fearful risks he would run, he would have shrank from the danger. But it was this very ignorance that made him bold. The heart does not fear the danger it knows naught of. And this was Mr Flonatin's case. Moreover, he was desirous of serving his friend Ytidrusba, and this desire gave him courage. He bowed to the lady once more, and was about to offer her a seat, when she put out her hand, and, taking his, led him to a couch.
"And so you are the singular being who has come from some horrible and nameless region," she observed, as she applied a handkerchief highly scented with some powerful and peculiar scent to her nose, which was exceedingly large. "Well, I must say you are a perfect natural curiosity."
"I may be permitted to set you right on one point, madam," Flin replied. "The region I have come from is neither nameless nor horrid. I have the honour to hail from America, and I am thoroughly American in blood, in sympathies, in ideas, in --- "
"Why, bless me, how curiously you talk, to be sure," interrupted the lady. "You are very bold and forward, too, for a male, who ought to be retiring and bashful."
"There I beg to differ from you, my dear madam."
"Tut, tut," cried the lady. "Why, I declare this is positively shocking."
"If you will graciously listen to me for a few minutes, madam, I think we shall be able to understand each other better," remarked Flin firmly, and in a tone that, had the lady had any perception, ought to have convinced her that Mr. Flonatin was by no means an ordinary man. But, unfortunately, the lady had no perception. In fact, it is doubtful if any of the Esnesnonites were gifted in this way. Their intellects, such as they were, would seem to have been much clouded, and only such things as directly affected their own interests struck them with any force.
Mrs Ytidrusba was evidently much astonished. To be talked to in such a manner by a male was something so extraordinary for Esnesnon that she opened her eyes in a manner that plainly indicated her profound amazement. She raised her diamond glass to her eye, and stared at Flin as though she was microscopically examining some wonderful and singular insect. Perhaps she did think so.
"Un-der-stand each other," she said, when she was tired of staring, and drawling the world out.
"That is what I said, madam," Flin answered, by no means abashed, though greatly annoyed, for his pride was wounded. "I beg to explain that in my beloved country the men rule and not the ladies."
"Oh, gracious!" exclaimed Mrs Ytidrusba, sniffing at her scent as though the very idea was horribly repugnant. "What a barbarous country, to be sure."
"So far from being a barbarous country, I assure you it is the most enlightened on the face of the earth. The only cares which a lady has are the cares of her own household, and even there she is subject to her husband's sway."
"Oh, what poor, miserable, degraded creatures they must be," said Mrs Ytidrusba.
"On the contrary, madam, the American ladies are noted for their liveliness, their general happy dispositions, and their entire freedom from anything like servility."
"You extraordinary being, do talk sense," exclaimed Mrs Ytidrusba, petulantly. "How is it possible for women to be anything but the vilest and most grovelling of slaves if they have to acknowledge the rule of men?"
"That is a rule that will better apply the other way. Man is by nature endowed in a manner which peculiarly qualifies him to be woman's protector her breadwinner, her ruler. His intellect is greater, his powers of endurance are greater. Woman in the senate, at the Bar, or in the professions, is out of place. And when once a woman quits her sphere she ceases to be a woman and becomes objectionable. In my country we surround woman with a halo of romance. She is the recipient of our loves, the keeper of our hearts, the guardian of our children, the ornament of our homes. We place her on a pedestal, as it were, and worship her beauty, respect her feelings, treat her with tenderness, but I guess, madam, we keep her in her proper place in the States, you bet we do."
"Oh, you humbug, you miserable barbarian," exclaimed Mrs Ytidrusba, passionately. "How dare you sit there and tell me such monstrous fictions, and expect me to believe them? If there be even a grain of truth in what you say I cannot conceive any beings more utterly degraded than are your wretched women. They must be lost to every sense of dignity, of nobleness, of freedom."
"That is a point I cannot concede you, madam," Flin remarked, determined not to lose one inch of ground. "All that you say with respect to our women may be applied with tenfold force to your men. May I venture to cite your husband as an example? He is gifted, intellectual, studious and farseeing, but he would be an infinitely better man if he was not subject to petticoat government."
Mrs Ytidrusba almost shrieked with horror, but Flin, nothing abashed, continued, ---
"I say that if your husband occupied his proper sphere his mind would expand more as the responsibilities of his position increased. The greatest incentive for a man to labour, to aspire, to struggle for fame, and to fight for glory is the knowledge that on him woman depends. But reverse the order, and man becomes a mere machine, while the height that he might attain, if in his true station, can never be attained by her who assumes man's responsibilities, because nature has not fitted woman for the office." He paused to wipe his face, for he had grown a little warm with his enthusiasm, and it gave the pent- up fires of wrath which smouldered in the lady's breast an opportunity to burst forth.
"Well may it be said that you come from the regions of darkness," she cried, "for you have the daring that we ascribe to the fiends. But while I do not believe that you have come from any such place, I denounce you as an unmitigated humbug. A presumptuous, inflated, yet miserably insignificant fellow, who ought to be whipped through our streets until you have learnt to know your true position."
"Madam, this is strong language," Flin commenced, but the lady stamped her foot and cried passionately, ---
"Hold your tongue, sir, when I speak to you. We do not allow our males here to contradict us, nor would any male in all Esnesnon have had the audacity to talk to a lady as you have talked to me."
"Poor creatures," Flin muttered.
"Woman is infinitely superior to the other sex. She has beauty of form and beauty of mind. She is shrewd, far- seeing, cautious, quick-witted, has powers of discernment which man has not, and therefore is she adapted to rule. It is her mission to rule, and before I would see our privileges surrendered I would head an army of women to sweep the males off our earth."
"Shocking, shocking," Flin murmured.
"I tell you,' the lady continued, "that the woman who would consent to have man as a ruler is a wretched, degraded, lost creature, and deserving of a reptile's death."
Flin could restrain himself no longer. To be talked to in such a way by a female was almost more than flesh and blood could stand. Small though he was in stature, he had a mighty brain, and a big heart that swelled with love for all women, when women were women, and not men. So indignant did he feel that he allowed his valour to overcome his discretion, and rising excitedly he cried, ---
"Madam, the time has come for me to speak out boldly for the honour and credit of my sex. I will endeavour to emancipate your men from their slavery. I will teach them their true position. I will show them that it is their duty to burst their bonds, and I will set them an example how to rule. All my energies, all my strength of mind and body shall be devoted to the good cause of freeing your unfortunate men from their social degradation."
"Ah, traitor, traitor!" screamed Mrs Ytidrusba, in a towering passion, "this is treason, and your life will be forfeited." She crossed the room hurriedly, and beat upon a gong of gold twice. A servant appeared in answer to the summons. "A guard," she cried. The man bowed and withdrew. "We shall," she continued, "see whether you can come to our peaceful realm with you revolutionary ideas and endeavour to carry them our with impunity." The door opened, and a body of Amazons, armed with long pikes, marched in. "Secure this wretched being, and march him to the citadel," she said imperiously.
In an instant Flin was arrested. He offered no opposition, but said, as firmly as he was able, ---
"Madam, this outrage on an American subject will be avenged."
The excited lady waved her hand haughtily, and cried, "Away with him!" and Flin Flon was led away as a captive.