The Way of a Virgin/The Lovely Nun and her Young Boarder
THE LOVELY NUN AND HER YOUNG BOARDER.[1]
Casanova again meets the beautiful nun M—— M——, with whom he was on intimate terms some years previously at Venice. The nun is now in a convent at Chamberi, where Casanova visits her and her young boarder, a lovely girl aged twelve or thirteen, who readily succumbs to the adventurer's amorous advances. The text continues:—
I went to the convent, and M—— M—— came down alone to the grating. She thanked me for coming to see her, adding that I had come to disturb her peace of mind.
"I am all ready, my heart, to climb the garden wall," I answered, "and I shall do it more dextrously than thy wretched humpback."
"Alas! 'tis not possible, for, believe me, thou art already spied upon.……Let us forget all, my dear friend, that we may be spared the torment of vain desires."
"Give me thy hand."
"Nay. All is over. I love thee still; probably I shall love thee always; but I long for thee to go, and by so doing, thou wilt give me proof of thy love."
"This is dreadful; thou amazest me. Thou dost seem in perfect health; thou art grown even more beautiful; art made for the worship of the sweetest of gods; 'tis beyond my powers of comprehension how, with a temperament like thine, thou canst live in continual abstinence."
"Alas! lacking the reality we console ourselves with make-belief.[2] I will not conceal from thee that I love my young boarder. 'Tis an innocent passion, and keepeth my mind calm. Her caresses quench the flame which would otherwise kill me."[3]
"And doth not thy conscience suffer?" "I feel no distress in the matter."
"But thou dost know 'tis a sin?"
"I confess it."
"And what sayeth the confessor?"
"Naught. He absolveth me, and I am happy."
"And doth thy pretty boarder confess also?"
"Assuredly; but she telleth not the father of a matter which she doth not to believe a sin."
"I wonder that the confessor hath not taught her, for that species of instruction is a great pleasure."
"Our confessor is a wise old man."
"I shall leave thee, then, without a single kiss?"
"Not one."
"May I return on the morrow? I go hence on the following day."
"Come; but I shall not descend alone,[4] for others might have suspicious. I will bring my little one with me, to save appearances. Come after dining, but to the other parlour."
Had I not known M—— M—— at Aix, her religious ideas would have astonished me; but such was her character. She loved God, and did not believe that the kind Father who made us with passions would be too severe because we had not the strength to subdue them. I returned to the inn, annoyed that the lovely nun would have no more to do with me.……
After the interval of a night, Casanova returns to the convent, and, announcing his presence, enters the parlour which M—— M—— has indicated. The text continues:—
……She soon descended with her pretty young boarder, who had not yet completed her twelfth year, but was very tall, strong and well-developed for her age. Gentleness, liveliness, candour, and wit were united in her features, and gave her an expression of exquisite charm. She wore a well-made corset which disclosed a white throat, to which fancy easily added the two spheres which would soon appear there. Her shapely head, whence hung two superb raven tresses, and her ivory throat indicated what might be concealed, and my vagrant imagination formed her into a budding Venus.
I began by telling her that she was very pretty, and that she would make happy the husband for whom God had destined her. This compliment, I felt assured, would cause her to blush. 'Tis cruel, but thus it is that the language of seduction ever beginneth. A girl of her years who doth not blush at the mention of marriage is either a fool or already expert in profligacy. Despite this, however, the blush which mounteth to a young girl's cheek at the onset of a startling idea is indeed a problem. Whence doth it come? Perchance from pure simplicity; perchance from shame; often from a mixture of both feelings. Cometh, then, the combat 'twixt vice and virtue, and usually 'tis virtue which hath to succumb. The desires—true servants of vice—easily attain their ends. As I knew the young boarder from M—— M——'s description, I could not be unaware of the source of those blushes which did but enhance her youthful charms.
Pretending not to notice aught, I conversed for a while with M—— M——, then returned to the assault. She had regained her calm.
"What is thine age, pretty one?" said I.
"I am thirteen."
"Thou art wrong, my heart," said her friend. "Thou hast not yet completed thy twelfth year."
"The time will come," quoth I, "when thou wilt diminish the tale of thy years instead of increasing it."
"I shall never tell a lie, sir; of that I am sure."
"So thou wouldst become a nun, my fair friend?"
"I have not yet that vocation; but naught shall force me to lie, even though I should live in the world."
"Thou art wrong, for thou wilt begin to lie from the moment thou hast a lover."
"Will my lover also tell lies?"
"Assuredly he will."
"Were the matter truly so, I should entertain a bad opinion of love; but I do not believe it, for I love my dear friend here, and I never conceal the truth from her."
"But thou dost not love a man as thou lovest a woman."
"Indeed one doth."
"Not so, for thou dost not go to bed with a woman, but thou wilt with thy husband."
"No matter—my love would be the same."
"What? Thou wouldst not rather sleep with me than with M—— M——?"
"Nay, in sooth, for thou art a man and would see me."
"Thou dost not desire a man to see thee, then?"
"Nay."
"Thou knowest that thou art ugly, then?"
At this she turned to her friend with a highly vexed air.
"Am I truly ugly?" she asked.
"Nay, my heart," said M—— M——, bursting with laughter; 'tis quite the other way. Thou art very pretty." With these words, she took her on her knee and embraced her tenderly.
"Thy corset is too tight, mademoiselle; 'tis not possible to have so small a waist as thine."
"Monsieur is mistaken. Thou canst put thy hand there and see for thyself."
"I do not believe it."
M—— M—— then held her close to the grille and bade me assure myself on the point. At the same moment she turned up her dress.
"Thou wast right," said I, "and I owe thee an apology." But in my heart I cursed the chemise and the grille.
"'Tis my opinion," quoth I to M—— M——, "that here we have a little lad."
Without awaiting a reply, I laboured so well that I satisfied myself, by touch, as to her sex, and I could see that the little one and her governess were pleased that my mind was at rest on the subject.
When I had withdrawn my hand, the little one gave a kiss to M—— M——, whose smiling air reassured her, and begged leave to absent herself for a moment. It seems I had reduced her to a state in which a brief space of solitude was necessary, and I myself was in a highly excited condition.
When she had gone, I said to M—— M——:—
"Dost realise that what thou hast shown me hath made me unhappy?"
"And why?"
"Because thy boarder is charming and I am dying to possess her."
"I grieve for that, since thou canst not go further; moreover, I know thee, my friend, and e'en though thou couldst satisfy thy passion without danger to her, I would not yield her to thee; thou wouldst spoil her."
"How?"
"Dost think that after enjoying thee she would care to enjoy me? I should lose too heavily by comparison."
"Give me thy hand."
"Nay."
"Stay—one moment."
"I do not wish to see aught."
"Not even a little?"
"Naught at all."
"Art angered with me, then?"
"Far from it. If thou hast been pleased, I am glad; and if thou hast filled her with desires, she will love me all the more."
"What happiness, my angel, could we, all three, be alone together and at liberty!"
"I feel it, but 'tis impossible."
"Art sure that we are sheltered from all curious eyes?"
"I am certain."
"The height of that wretched grille hath deprived me of the sight of many charms."
"Why didst not go to the other parlour? 'Tis much lower there."
"Let us go there."
"Not to-day. I could give no reason for the change."
"I will return to-morrow, and in the evening I start for Lyons."
The little boarder came back, and I stood up facing her. I had a number of beautiful seals and trinkets hanging from my watch-chain, and I had not had time to put myself in a state of perfect decency again. This she noticed, and my seals serving as a pretext for her curiosity, she asked if she might look at them.
"As long as you like, my jewel; look at them and touch them as well."
M—— M——, foreseeing what would happen, left the room, saying that she would return anon. I hastened to deprive the curious-minded young boarder of all interest in my seals by placing in her hands a curiosity of another kind. She did not conceal her transports nor the pleasure she felt in satisfying her inquisitiveness about an object which was quite new to her, and which she was able to examine minutely for the first time in her life. But soon an effusion of the natural moisture changed her in her delighted contemplation of it.
Perceiving M—— M—— returning slowly, I lowered my shirt and sat down. My watch and chains were still on the ledge of the grating, and M—— M—— asked her young friend if the trinkets had pleased her.
"Yea," replied the little one, in a dreamy and melancholy voice. She had travelled so far in less than two hours that she had plenty to think on.
I passed the rest of the day in relating to M—— M—— the adventures I had encountered since I quitted her; but as I had not time to finish my tale, I promised to return on the following day at the same hour.
The young girl, who had been listening to me all the while, although I seemed to be addressing only her friend, said she was dying to know the end of my adventure with the mistress of the Duke of Matelone.[5]……
……On the following day, after dining, I returned to the convent, and having sent up my name to M—— M——, I entered the room where the grating was more convenient. Before long M—— M—— arrived alone, but divining my desires, she added that her pretty young friend would soon join us.
"Thou hast fired her imagination," she said. "She hath told me all about it, playing a thousand wanton tricks and calling me her dear husband. Thou hast seduced her, and I am very glad thou art going, for I believe she might lose her reason. Thou wilt see how she hath attired herself."
"Art sure of her discretion?"
"Perfectly, but I beg of thee to do naught in my presence. When I see the moment approaching, I will leave the room."
"Thou art an angel, beloved, but thou mightest be something better an thou wouldst—"
"I want naught for myself, because that may not be."
"Thou couldst——"
"Nay—I will have naught to do with a pastime which would re-kindle fires hardly yet quenched. I have spoken. I suffer; but let us say no more on the matter."
At this moment the young adept entered smiling, her eyes full of fire. She was attired in a short pelisse, open in front, and an embroidered muslin skirt which did not go beyond her knees. She looked like a sylph.
We were scarcely seated ere she reminded me of the place where my tale had stopped. I continued my recital, and when I was relating how Donna Lucrezia showed me Leonilda naked, M—— M—— went out, and the sly little puss asked me how I assured myself that my daughter was a virgin.
Taking hold of her through the wretched grating, against which she placed her pretty body, I showed her how I assured myself of the fact, and the little one found such pleasure in the game that, so far from feeling any suffering, she twice swooned away in ecstasy, all the while pressing my hand to the spot. Then she gave me her hand that she might afford me the pleasure I had given her, and when M—— M—— appeared during this enjoyable occupation, she said hastily:
"It doth not matter. I have told everything. My friend is kind, and she will not be vexed."
M—— M——, in sooth, affected to see naught of all this, and the precocious young girl wiped her hand in a kind of voluptuous delight, which showed how well she was pleased.
I proceeded with my history, but when I came to the episode of the poor girl who was tied,[6] desscribing all the trouble I had vainly taken with her, the little boarder grew so curious that she placed herself in the most seducing attitude so that I might be able to show her what I did. Seeing this, M—— M—— made her escape.
"Kneel down on the ledge," said the little wanton, "and let me do it."
The reader can guess her intention, and she would have succeeded in her purpose had not the fire which consumed me distilled itself away at the orifice.
The charming novice felt herself besprinkled, but after ascertaining that naught more could be done, she withdrew in some vexation. My fingers, however, consoled her for the disappointment, and I had the pleasure of seeing her look happy once more.
I quitted these charming creatures in the evening, promising to visit them again in a year, but as I walked home I could not but reflect how often these asylums, supposed to be devoted to chastity and prayer, do contain in themselves the hidden germs of corruption. How many a timorous and trustful mother is persuaded that the child of her affection will escape the dangers of the world by taking refuge in the cloister. But behind these bolts and bars desires grow to a frenzied extreme; they crave in vain to be satisfied.……
- ↑ Memoirs of Jacques Casanova: Privately Printed, 1894. Also Memoires de J. Casanova de Seingalt: Garnier Frères: Paris, n.d. Our text is a blend of two versions.
- ↑ Badinage in the French text; i.e., playfulness, frolic, sport, etc., which is hardly in keeping with the context.
- ↑ Literally, according to French text: "Her caresses quench a fire which would kill me did I not weaken its force by this make-belief."
- ↑ i.e., to the grating.
- ↑ Referring to a salacious incident shortly before related. Further details would be out of place in this volume.
- ↑ Somewhat obscure. This rendering, that of the English translation, is not in accord with the French text, nor does it seem to us to represent what happened as described in the English translation.