The Woodpecker (1825)/Advice to lasses

The Woodpecker  (1825) 
Advice to Lasses

AirLogan Streams.

Come all and listen, the news is sad,
for our young men are surely mad
There flesh is very nigh their bones—
they feed your lasses on tough scones.

Now since you have the tooth-ach ta'en,
and ye can hardly walk your lane:
The scones we would have rather boil'd,
than ha'en your teeth so sorely spoil'd.

Young lasses you have now ga'en mad:
to tell your teeth so soon turned bad;
You'll no get sale but in the dark—
for we'er afraid you have lost mark.

You must go now and burn your jaws,
then file your teeth like the auld saws;
For if that you cannot eat scones,
you'll no can gang through our Carse loans.

O lasies you must now take care,
your head and teeth are spoil't so sair;
Do not eat any thing that's tough,
since your young mouths' are turned so rough.

Your teeth are chatter'd now so sair,
you'll have to eat something that's rare;
You must get meat that's saft and fine—
on sowans and butler you must dine.

If we can neither call nor pay,
no longer in this place we'el stay;
To come to you we'er fairly set,
the change-house breeding for to get.

Since on our breeding you're so sair,
a lesson fit you must prepare;
To come for that to such a place,
is ga'en to diel for to seek grace —

O we will keep our heads abean.
and will not wear a' your auld shoon;
For a' your din and a' your jaws:
keep your ain fish-guts to your ain sea maws.

O lasses now take our advice,
for now's the time for to be wise;
If scones and ale you get by chance,
learn to think twice, or you speak twice.

Then ye may jaw as lang's you like,
and sport a-while at boag or dyke;
Do not begin for to tell lies—
mind a close mouth doth catch no flies.

Our song to end we do prepare,
we don't pretend to have much lair-
We dinna like to let you gang,
Wi'a that jaw ye have so lang.


This work was published before January 1, 1928, and is in the public domain worldwide because the author died at least 100 years ago.

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