The paradise of the Christian soul/Chap. I. The Doctrine of a Holy Life treated of in a Colloquy between Christ and Man.
PART IV.
CONTAINING VARIOUS EXERCISES PROFITABLE FOR THE
PURSUIT OF VIRTUES AND OF CHRISTIAN PERFECriON.
FOR WEDNESDAY.
A PREPARATORY PRAYER BEFORE ANY PIOUS READING.
Blessed is the man whom, thou shalt instruct, O Lord, and shalt teach him out of thy law; yes, O Lord, he is every way blessed, because he cannot go astray under thy guidance, for thou art the way; nor be deceived under thy teaching, for thou art the truth; nor perish under thy protection, for thou art the life. Teach me, therefore, goodness, discipline, and knowledge. For many indeed are the lessons of virtue and piety that I every where hear; I read much that has been piously and laboriously written by thy servants upon the means, the warnings, and the commands to obtain thy grace; but how shall I understand it, unless thou enlighten my understanding? And how shall I perform it, unless thou too inflame my affection? For to will is present with me, but I find not how to accomplish. I can do nothing indeed without thee, but in thee I can do all things; for from thee is all our sufficiency.
Therefore, while I read what is piously written in books, inscribe the same, I beseech thee, with thy finger on the tables of my heart. For things beautifully sail soothe the ear, but without thee they affect not the soul. In vain am I addressed by one that is a man like myself, let him speak ever so piously, learnedly or eloquently, unless thou, O Lord, speakest inwardly to my heart. Speak, then, Lord, for thy servant heareth; but if I hear not, then cause me to hear; for thou makest the deaf to hear and the dumb to speak.
But make my heart also burn within me while thou speakest to me. Teach me to do thy will, that my sentence may not be the heavier, because when I knew thy will I did it not. For the servant that knows the will of his Lord, and does it not, shall be beaten with many stripes. But I am thy servant; give me, then, understanding, that I may learn thy commandments; and give me grace also, that I may keep them with my whole heart. For it is my soul’s desire henceforward to obey and to please thee, and be for ever united to thee, O God of my heart, and God that art my portion
for ever!CHAPTER I.
THE DOCTRINE OF A HOLY LIFE TREATED OF IN A COLLOQUY BETWEEN CHRIST AND MAN.
§ 1. Aspiration after the way of salvation.
Man. O Lord my God, who art the eternal wisdom, how admirable is thy name in the whole earth! All these things hast thou created out of nothing by thy powerful hand ; and of thy immeasurable goodness hast made me to thy own image, when I was not. But when I was lost, thou hast redeemed me by thy blood; and, that I might have life, hast given thy own precious life unto death.
Thou hast also signed upon me the light of thy countenance, that I might own thee for my highest good. And therefore my soul pants after thee, O my God, as the hart after the fountains of water! Oh, when and how shall I appear before the face of God ! For in this desert land, where there is no way and no water, —in this place of horror, this vast wilderness, I find no path that is sufficiently certain and safe.
Therefore, O true light, who enlightenest every man that comes into this world, enlighten me, who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and direct my feet into the way of peace and salvation. Enlighten my darkness, and tell me what I must do to possess eternal life. Thou who teachest the way of God in truth, make known to me the way wherein I should walk, that I may come to thee, O my salvation and my life!
Christ. Thou dost right to inquire for the way that leads to life. For there is a way which seems just to a man, but the ends thereof lead to death. Strait and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few there are that find it; but broad is the way that leads to destruction, and alas, how many are they that go in thereat! And why? Because they take no care, where the ways diverge, nay, rather among so many turnings and windings, to look for the right way, and to inquire for a guide that knows the way.
Hence it is that the wicked walk round about, and because they do not find the way of peace and truth, they perish miserably. I will therefore point out to thee, my son, what is good, and what the Lord require of thee; namely, to do judgment and justice, and to love mercy, and to walk carefully with thy God.
Man. I know, O Lord, that the way of a man is not his, neither is it in a man to walk and to direct his steps. Man is a stranger and a pilgrim upon the earth, and is ignorant of his end; he knows not when he comes into the world, nor when he goes out of it. Without thee we are like sheep going astray that have no shepherd. Seek, then, thy servant, O thou good shepherd! Direct me in thy truth, and teach me, for thou art God my Saviour, and see if there be in me the way of iniquity, and lead me in the eternal way.
§ 2. Christ the way of life, by keeping his commandments
Christ. Wouldst thou know the way? Behold, I am the way, the truth, and the life: the way, in being thy example; the truth, in giving thee my promise; the life, in being thy reward. He that follows me walks not in darkness, but shall have the light of life. I have given you an example, that you should follow my steps; that, as I have done, you should do also. Look into my life, therefore, and do according to the pattern which was shown thee on the mount; that is, learn of me, because I am meek and humble of heart; for I came not to do my own will, but the will of him that sent me; nay, I became obedient to God the Father unto death, even the death of the cross.
Go, then, also, my son, and do in like manner. Be humble and obedient; and if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments. Now, the first and greatest commandment is, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart; and the second, thy neighbour as thyself. He that has my commandments, and keeps them, he it is that loves me. For the proof of love is the performance of duty,
Man. Ah, my Creator, reach out thy right hand to the work of thy hands, that I may not swerve from thy commandments. Oh, that my ways may be directed to keep thy justifications, for my will is in the law of the Lord. But alas, unhappy man that I am, I am delighted with the law according to the inward man; but I see another law in my members fighting against the law of my mind; so that the good which I will I do not, but the evil which I will not; so prone are the thoughts of a man to evil from his youth, and the corruptible body a load upon the soul. How, then, shall I love thee as thou wouldst and shouldst be loved? For the measure of loving thee should be without measure, because thou exceedest all measure.
Christ. My commandments are not grievous, much less are they impossible; for my yoke is sweet, and my burden light. If thou believe not me, thou wilt be convinced by so many thousands of my faithful ones, who have adhered to me with their whole heart. Nay, even boys and young virgins will shame thee, who are weak by their sex and age. Behold how they are numbered among the children of God, and their lot is among the saints! For my love they crucified their flesh with its desires, they trampled upon the world and all its allurements, threatenings and all kinds of torments they boldly despised, they manfully overcame Satan; and thus, embracing my yoke with joy, they followed me, their Redeemer, with their whole heart. And wilt not thou be able to do what those did?
Man. These are they that fly like the clouds, but I am weak and lame, and creep upon the ground. Their virtue was exceedingly strengthened, and I cannot attain to it.
Christ. Then contemplate, my son (I speak as a man, because of the infirmity of thy flesh), those who are wise to do evil, and rejoice when they have done it; and also the bullocks of Ephraim taught to love to tread out corn, I mean, the children of this world. Behold how actively they run and toil, how they torment themselves, and all to acquire a few earthly goods that soon must perish! How and why is it that they are in their generation stronger than the children of light? Why, when they thus yield their members to serve iniquity to iniquity, canst not thou yield them to serve justice to sanctification? Try at least, and make though it were but a little exertion, and thou wilt find for thyself much rest. Then thou wilt see how much easier it is to gain heaven than earth, — to please and serve me than the world. Thou wilt learn too the wretchedness of those who walk in ways that are so difficult; because there is toil, and contrition, and unhappiness in the ways of those who have not known the way of peace; but my ways are ways that are beautiful and easy. Why, then, do you love vanity, and seek after lying? Why do you weary yourselves in the way of iniquity? How long will you be dull of heart, O sons of men that are liars in the balances? What will it profit you to gain the whole world, and to suffer the loss of your soul?
Man. Lord, whither shall I go away from thee? Thou hast the words of eternal life. Thy testimonies are exceedingly trustworthy. Blessed is the man whom thou instructest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law. Show me thy ways, and teach me thy paths. Lead me into the path of thy commandments, for this have I desired, and remove from me the way of iniquity.
Christ. Hear my words, for they are spirit and life. It is I who teach thee what is profitable. Blessed is the man who hears me and keeps my words; but all men are vain, in whom there is not the knowledge of God. Behold, by precepts few and easy, I will instruct thee in this way, in which thou shalt go. I will lead thee by the paths of equity, which when thou shalt nave entered, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not meet a stumbling-block. Hearken, then, diligently to my words, and lay them up in thy heart. For if thou wilt keep my commandments, they will keep thee.
Man. Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth. But give me also understanding, that I may learn thy commandments, and keep them with my whole heart. Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my God, that I may not deserve to be beaten with many stripes, as a servant who knows, but does not, the will of his Lord.
§ 3. Consideration of the end of our creation.
Christ. Before all things, consider often and seriously within thyself the end of thy creation. For thou knowest that there can be no regular application of means without knowledge of the end. Think, therefore, to what end thou wert made a man, and formed to my own image and likeness; why thou hast received, in preference to all other living creatures, so noble a gift as that of reason; why brought into this world, as it were into a most spacious theatre. Lastly, why thou wert redeemed by so many labours of my whole life; and provided, moreover, with so many sacraments and aids of heavenly grace.
For can it be that I have made for nought all the children of men? For what, then, have I bestowed upon them so many gifts of mind and body? Was it that they might strive to heap up riches? to seek reputation and glory? to build largely and magnificently, as if they were to live here for ever; to join house to house, and lay field to field; to be engaged with farms and yokes of oxen; to be clothed, in purple and fine linen, and feast sumptuously every day; to spend their time in pleasure, comfort, plays, and amusements; to eat and drink, and pass their lives in enjoyment, imagining this to be their portion? Away with a thought that is so impious and disproportionate to my bounty; for I created man, and redeemed him, for a much higher and nobler end.
Man. Praise the Lord, O my soul! I will praise thee, O Lord, as long as I live. For, since thou needest not anything, what is man that thou art mindful of him, or why hast thou set thy heart towards him? Didst thou, then, create us for any need that thou hast of our goods? Yet what have we that we have not received? Thine, is the world, with all its fulness. Thou hast created us only to display in us the riches of thy goodness and glory. For since thy nature is goodness supreme, it desires nothing more than to communicate and diffuse itself around. Who, O Lord, can tell the wonders of thy power, wisdom, and goodness? What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? My soul, bless the Lord, and forget not all his benefits. Let my tongue cleave to my laws, if I remember not my Creator.
Christ. Oh, that thou wouldst be wise and understand, and know how to estimate rightly thy end, and the gift of thy creation! Hear, therefore, and understand. I gave thee understanding, and fixed my eyes upon thee, that thou mightest not be like the horse and mule, which have no understanding to know God their creator; I gave thee, I say, understanding, that thou mightst own me for thy Lord and thy God; a will, that thou mightst love me, and desire only heavenly things; memory, that thou mightst be mindful of me and of my gifts; a tongue, that thou mightst praise me; and lastly, all thy senses and faculties, both of body and soul, that thou mightst employ them all to the glory of my name; and when thou shalt have faithfully performed this duty, then, at length, will I myself be thy reward; yes, myself; for when thou hast obtained me, thy desire will be fully satisfied. For the soul that is capable of enjoying the Supreme Good can never be satisfied with less.
Behold, this, my son, is thy end for which thou wert created. For this wert thou placed in this World as a pilgrim and a stranger, not having here a lasting city, but to seek one that is to come. For this wert thou set in this course, that, by running and striving vigorously, thou mightst at last receive the prize and the crown of justice.
But, ah, how blind and wretched are they who are neither wise nor understand this, and so care for nothing less than the end they were created for; and, as if they had received their souls for nothing, care only about things present, and are wholly taken up with those which the Gentiles seek, who know not God; nay, which are objects of desire to the very cattle, which have not understanding to comprehend the end of others. Hence, like beasts, they rot in their dung; they are become corrupt and abominable in their ways, and live as though there were no God, and no knowledge in the Most High, — as though man and beast had one end, and the condition of both were the same. So seldom, or never, do they think of heaven and the rewards of heaven!
Man. The light of thy countenance, O Lord, has indeed been signed upon us; because, together with the light of reason, or the gift of understanding, the traces of thy bounty, love, and favour have been impressed upon our minds. Hence, too, thou hast given joy to my heart, arising from the consideration of so excellent a gift, and of the good things which thou hast prepared for them that love thee, and make a good use of that gift. For thou art the portion of my inheritance and of my cup: it is thou that wilt restore my inheritance to me. For beside thee, what have I in heaven, and what have I desired upon earth, O God of my heart, and God that art my portion for ever!
§4. A right and pure intention.
Christ. Having, then, learnt the end of thy creation, which is my glory, take care to make it the aim and object of all thy actions, that is, to direct all thy works to the greater glory of my name. For the practice of a pure and right intention is as it were the sum of all piety and perfection. If thy eye be single and right, thy whole body will have light; therefore, whether thou eat or drink, or whatever else thou dost, remember to do all to the glory of my name.
Behold a labour that is slight, but whose fruit is without measure; small to the sower, but wonderfully productive of harvest. Behold an art, easy indeed, but one that makes gold out of lead, and of any base metal; that is, draws out and augments the love and grace of God from works that are otherwise bad and unprofitable.
For by means of a right intention, thy works, which were worthless, indifferent, and merely natural in themselves, assume a virtuous and meritorious character, and gain the favour of God: they suffer, too, no loss of temporal advantage, but become both pleasanter and easier to thyself, and more acceptable to me.
Oh, how many are defrauded of the fruit of their labours that are vitiated by corruptness of intention! who usually flatter themselves, notwithstanding, as people who have wrought justice, and take delight in the number of their works; which, however, they do from little love of my glory, or of true religion, but only to be seen of men, or for the rewards of this life rather than of the life which is to come. But it shall be, that when I shall have taken a time, I will judge justice; namely, in the great day, when I shall search Jerusalem with lamps, and will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts.
Oh, how much that now is pleasant will then be bitter! how much that glitters now will then be odious! For, before me, a Judge that will render to every one according to their works, and principally according to the intention of their works, — before me, I say, what will many of you have to bring that is worthy of praise or reward? Amen, I say to you, they have already received their reward; they have obtained that which they had desired, that is, the glory of the world, — a famous name, carnal comforts, wealth, favours, dignities: what, then, remains for me to reward? For they who are led to perform even works of piety, rather by the desire of honour or advantage to themselves, than of my glory and of pleasing me, serve, not me, but themselves, the world, and the flesh; how, then, can they presume to claim their reward from me?
See here the vanity of men, who wear themselves out with foolish and fruitless toil. They sow much, and bring in little; they eat, but are not satisfied; they drink, and are not refreshed; and they that receive wages, put them into a bag with holes. But thou, my son, be more cautious, and take care lest thou too do nothing in doing much, and lose all the fruit of thy labour. Why dost thou spend thy gold for that which is not bread, and thy silver for that which dost not satisfy? How long dost thou halt between two sides? If I am the Lord thy God, follow me with all thy heart. If thou preferrest or lovest any other thing before me, why dost thou glory in my name and title? Why dost thou usurp my badge? If thou enjoyest servitude, to serve me is to reign; if thou seekest glory, it is great glory to follow the Lord: them that follow me will I glorify, but they that despise me shall be despised. If thou desirest reward, ask it of me alone; and from whom canst thou expect a greater? For eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man, what things I have prepared for them that love me. Oh, that thou wouldst but look oftener to this recompense, and then no toil could possibly seem hard to thee! For the hope of reward is the solace of labour; and behold, I will be thy exceeding great reward.
Man. Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive praise, and glory, and honour from every creature; and why not from me also, who am created to thy own image, and bought by thee with so great a price, that in my heart and my body I might glorify thee, my God? Who is there that plants a tree or a vine, and eats not of its fruit? But thou, O Lord, hast formed me, and placed me on this earth. Thou hast transplanted this vine, that is, my soul, out of Egypt, and placed me in this station N., vocation N., and office N., that I am in. Far be it from me when thou expectest of me grapes, that I should bring forth only wild grapes.
Oh, that my soul might be as a watered garden, prolific in good fruits, that is, in solid virtues. Away with showy flowers, that please only the eye, that is, false virtues, and works that are good only in appearance, which will wither away quickly as grass. Be rooted out every spurious plant, planted not by the Father of truth, but by the father of vanity and pride.
Oh, would that I might be like a tree planted near the running waters, which renders thee its fruit in due season; lest if thou come, and find upon it no fruit of true to be cut down and cast into the fire.
My soul, therefore, sighs after thee, my eyes look up to thee, who dwellest in the heavens: far be from me to resolve to turn my eyes downwards to the earth, and to choose rather to toil for worthless dirt, than for thy love and honour, and the reward of the heavenly life. The pursuit of vain glory is no enjoyment to one who has the promise of that which is eternal. All things were by thy apostle esteemed as dung, that he might gain thee. And justly so; for when they are gone, what remains to us of them but what we blush for? Oh, how shall we wish hereafter, that we had laboured for thee more earnestly and not in vain! Behold, I offer thee my heart, O Lord, with an everlasting covenant, and dedicate to thee all my works. Be thy name blessed and sanctified in me for ever.
Christ. Seek, then, my son, thy own, and beware of seeking any other good. Every creature has its good, but seek thou thy own. None is good but God above; what, then, dost thou want more that thou hast the Supreme Good? There are also inferior goods, proper, some to one creature some to another. What other good have cattle, but to fill their belly, be free from want, sleep, live, have health, and propagate their kind? Seekest thou such a good as this, thou co-heir of the Son of God? Dost thou, then, rejoice in being companion to the beasts? No, rather elevate thy hope to him who is the Good of all goods.
Man. It is good for me to adhere to thee, my God, and to place in thee my hope, for thou art the Supreme Good. Freely will I sacrifice to thee, and give praise to thy name, O Lord, because it is good. For beside thee, what have I in heaven, or what have I desired upon earth?
Christ. Meantime I do not altogether forbid thee to make use of the inferior goods, which are my other creatures, for I have not made them for nought; but know that they are all to be used, loved, or pursued, only so far as they may be aids or means to the attainment of thy own end. Happy is he who from every created thing elicits a motive of love for the Creator, and who makes of the creatures a ladder to heaven, which otherwise become a snare to the feet of the unwise.
Man. All the things, O Lord, which thou hast created for my sake, I esteem very beautiful and good; but how much more beautiful, excellent, and lovely art thou, their creator! If one drop and particle of good is so much loved, how much more to be loved is the very fountain and vast ocean of goodness! Oh, that my soul may love thee above all things, and love nothing else save only for thy sake!
§ 5. Love of self-mortification, or restraint of the heart and senses.
Christ. Thy desire is good; but in vain thou aspirest to love me, if thou hate not thyself. For the love of the flesh and the love of the Creator agree badly together: he, therefore, that loves his life shall lose it; but he that hates his life in this world, shall keep it to life eternal. Hence, if thou live according to the flesh, thou shalt die; but if; by the spirit, thou mortify the deeds of the flesh, thou shalt live. Without this wholesome self-hatred thou canst not be my disciple. So; therefore, mortify thy desires, thy senses, and thy members that are upon the earth, as not to do all that thou wouldst.
First, with all watchfulness keep thy heart, for it is from thence that life issues forth. A very precious treasure is that which I have entrusted thee with; but the vessel, enclosed in which thou bearest it about, is earthen, and liable even to more hazards than glass, — the casket of thy heart; and many are the plotting enemies to which it is exposed. And yet thou often betrayest it thyself, by thy careless watch over and abuse of thy senses.
Oh, how few are there that earnestly take heed to their ways, that they sin not with their tongue! whereas no tongue would suffice to recount the mischief and delinquencies that are caused by the tongue alone. But if any man think to be religious, not bridling his tongue, this man’s religion is vain. Knowest thou not thyself by frequent experience, that some perception of my love and relish of devotion is acquired only after much labour, and yet is easily dissipated by a few vain and idle words? See, then, of what consequence to progress in holiness is the regulation only of the tongue. But few reflect on this, though experience has taught them that much speaking is not without sin, and though I, who am the eternal Truth, have said, that for every idle word an account shall be rendered in the day of judgment.
Besides, a strict watch over the other senses conduces much to proficiency in my love, and to perseverance to the end. How many, alas, are there whose eyes have been the ruin of their souls! Of this thou hast an example in Dina, David, and many others; for he is happy and wise who learns from others’ ills to provide against his own. Turn, therefore, thy eyes away from beholding vanity. Or rather, like Job, make a covenant with thy eyes, that by them thou mayest not let in any blind love or hurtful affection. It will be easier for thee not to admit it at all, than, after it has been admitted, to cast it out. Hedge in thy ears with thorns, that they may not be open to the beasts that tear the heart, as detractors, railers, or filthy talkers. When thou sittest down to eat, put a knife to thy throat, that is, bridle thy appetite; set not thy heart upon tasting every meat, and be careful to take food in obedience to the necessity rather than the gratification of nature. Deprive also thy appetite of a portion of thy food, and offer it to me in my members.
Think what delights I forsook, what bitter sufferings I underwent for thy sake; and therefore deny thyself also many things that are agreeable to the flesh, but hurtful to the spirit; and that thou mayest the more easily refrain from things unlawful, curb thy appetite sometimes even in things lawful, knowing that I have prepared far greater joys for those who, for my love, have despised such vanities.
Man. Shame has covered my face, O Lord, to see thee occupied in labours from thy youth, every where pursuing that which is hard and rough, and ourselves, who in name are Christians, so much degenerated from thy example. For in thy whole life what else hast thou taught us, who, for the joy that was set before thee, enduredst the cross, despising the shame, than to despise pleasures, deny ourselves, bear our cross, and follow thee? Thou knewest indeed how to refuse the evil and choose the good, but chosest that which was most painful and troublesome to the flesh. That, therefore, is best, most profitable, and most to be chosen.
But in this how few follow thee! All seek their own, that is, what is pleasant to the flesh, and we are not ashamed to be sensual members under a head that is crowned with thorns. We wish to be, and to be esteemed, thy servants and disciples. But alas! how much readier are we to listen to the world and its prince; how earnestly we fulfil the desires of the flesh! O Lord, all my desire is before thee, and my groaning is not hid from thee.
Christ. But henceforward follow thou my steps, and bear constantly in thy body the mortification of my cross. Chastise thy body, and bring it into subjection. Behold how those men of virtue, my elect, hated their lives in this world, that they might keep them to life eternal; yet this was to love them truly. Oh, that thou too wouldst learn that the world, with its concupiscence, passes away; that thy life also flies like a shadow, and like a vapour that appears for a little time. But what wilt thou wish to have done at the last? What will finally remain to thee of all thy joys, but the cross, tribulation, and vexation of spirit! Oh, how will they then bewail their deception, when sorrow shall seize upon the end of their joy, who now take pleasure in the worst of things, and count it delightful to be under briers! For in the end of a man is the disclosing of his works; and the affliction of his last hour makes him forget great delights. Oh, that thou couldst taste the bitterness which terminates their pleasures and their joys! Then wouldst thou exclaim, Death is in the pot, death is in the pleasures of the flesh; and wouldst not eat of that which, when tasted, brings death; and wouldst not wish to drink of a cup, whose wine goes in pleasantly now, but hereafter will bite like a snake, and spread its poison like a basilisk; when all the sinners of the earth shall drink the dregs of my cup; for fire and brimstone, and storms of wind, shall be the portion of their cup at the last.
Now, if a physician should order thee when sick to abstain from certain meats, however grateful to thy palate, thou wouldst doubtless obey him out of love to thy life and health. How much more shouldst thou obey me, for the sake of thy soul, and of thy eternal salvation? How long, then, like a child, wilt thou love childishness, and long, like a fool, for the things that are hurtful to thee?
Man. Blessed be thou, O Lord, for ever, for so warning me, that I too may not reach forth my hands to the cup of Babylon. No, henceforward my soul refuses to have pleasure in it. But I will be mindful of thee, O Jesus, and shall not want for delight; for delights are in thy right hand, and it is thy delight to be with the sons of men.
Let others, then, take the timbrel and harp, live luxuriously, be delicately clothed, be wanton on their couches, and leave every where tokens of joy; but I will delight in the Lord. My sole and principal pleasure shall be to know no other pleasure for thy sake; that I may taste how sweet thou art, O Lord my God. The gift to understand this wilt thou not give, save to those who are weaned from the milk, and taken from the breasts of earthly pleasure; nor wilt thou give manna from heaven, till the meats of Egypt have been consumed; for so is it forbidden at once to take delight in the highest and lowest of things.
Meantime I know (for why should I dissemble before thee, who knowest my heart?) how great is the power of pleasure, by which I see even cedars of lib anus overthrown, and stars as it were fallen from heaven: what, then, can one so weak as I am presume to expect of himself?
§ 6. Mistrust of self, and constant attention to prayer.
Christ. To know how weak you are, and that you are not sufficient to think, much less do, any thing of yourselves, as of yourselves, but that all your sufficiency is from me, is the beginning of wisdom and salvation. Without me you can do nothing. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me. Unless the hammer is moved by the hand of the workman, and the pen by the fingers of the writer, what can either of them effect?
Man. True it is, O Lord, that unless thou build the house, all they labour in vain that build it. In vain we strive to build a tower, who have no means of our own to complete it, But it is thou who workest in all men all the things that belong to their salvation. Without thee I can do nothing, but I can do all things in thee who strengthenest me.
Christ. It is just, therefore, that I should forsake the children of pride, who trust in their own strength, and boast in the multitude of their riches, that when left to themselves they may see that without me they are, and can do, nothing; and that it is I only who give the will, the power, and the deed.
Man. In thee, O Lord, we live, move, and are. Thou, O good Jesus, art my strength and my praise; thou only art become my salvation. Therefore will I not trust in my bow, neither shall my sword save me. Not our own high hand, but the right hand of the Lord shall work strength.
Christ. Be therefore nothing solicitous, but in every thing by prayer let your petitions be made known to God. Lean not upon a staff of reed, but upon thy beloved; cast all thy care upon him, and thou shalt see the change of the right hand of the Most High, who alone does wonderful things. Hast thou occasionally seen some make but little progress, or even utterly fail? Know that this happened through their own self-confidence and inattention to prayer. Hence I myself, and also my apostles, have frequently warned you, that you ought always to pray, and not to faint. And though to many this seems difficult, yet they know how easy it is who, amid their very business, and study, and conversation, readily accustom themselves to elevate their minds to God. To raise even once the eyes to heaven, with inward affection of heart, is an ardent prayer in itself, and most tenderly touches my heart. For prayers such as these should originate in affection, in sorrow for sins, in hatred of this world’s vanity, in weariness of the present, and longing for the life to come, in thanksgiving for my many favours, in admiration of the wonderful works of God, in confidence in God, and in zeal for his honour; but chiefly in the burning love of me, with which the soul longs to be united to its beloved.
But it is mostly in meditation that the fire of such affections bursts forth into flame; and therefore they are ever to be fostered with ejaculatory prayers, the substance of which may be suggested as well by the more necessary virtues, as by all the objects of sense. Whence said the man according to my own heart: “ Thou hast given me, O Lord, a delight in thy doings, and in the works of thy hands I shall rejoice!”[1]
But to make such a use of creatures belongs not to all, but to those only who have their senses practised in the discernment of good and evil. For the senseless man shall not know, nor will the fool understand these things. Follow, however, in the steps of that same prophet of mine, and imitate him in sighing after me in brief but burning aspirations. Such are, to give thee a few examples out of many:
How great are thy works, O Lord ! Thou hast made all things in wisdom; the earth is filled with thy riches.
Oh, that my ways may be directed to keep thy justifications!
Woe is me that my sojourning is prolonged! Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, and renew a right spirit within me. As the hart pants after the fountains of water, so my soul pants after thee, O God. My soul has thirsted after the strong living God; when shall I come and appear before the face of God!
Enlighten my eyes, that they never sleep in death, lest at any time my enemy say, I have prevailed against him.
I will love thee, O Lord, my strength; the Lord is my firmament, my refuge, and my deliverer.
The Lord ruleth me, and I shall want nothing. He hath set me in a place of pasture.
Blessed be the name of the Lord, from this time forth for evermore. Amen.
One thing have I asked of the Lord, this will I seek after, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, that I may see the delight of the Lord, and may visit his temple.
§ 7. Exercise of the presence of God,
Christ. Thus too wilt thou accomplish what will be no less useful to thy progress in piety, namely, the bearing constantly in thy heart the recollection of my presence, and the doing every thing like one whose occupation is ever in my sight.
Walk, therefore, before me and be perfect. But wouldst thou do ill? Seek for thyself a spot where I should not see thee, and there in security do what thou wilt. Dost thou not know that I fill heaven and earth, and that all things are naked and open to my sight? For my eyes are brighter than the sun, in every place they behold the good and the evil. How is it that many like horse and mule without bridle, rush headlong into every wickedness, and why do the children of men commit evils without any fear? Why else, but because they believe that I am not present with them, and set not God before their eyes?
But think thou of the Lord, myself I mean, in all thy ways, and I will direct thy steps. Consider how efficacious to duty and modesty is the restraint of a good and grave man’s presence. See how carefully and exactly thou dost every thing before him, and how cautious thou art to commit no fault or indecorum in his sight. Yet wouldst thou dare to do in my presence what thou wouldst not dare in a man’s? Dost thou, then, revere the eyes of a man more than of thy God, thy Lord, and thy Judge, who has power to cast both thy body and soul into eternal fire?
Man. Whither shall I go from thy spirit, and whither shall I flee from thy face, who art inwardly present with me, and searchest my heart and reins? But, alas, why do I not live like one who believes thus? Alas for the dulness of our heart? We so live, speak, and act as though thou walkedst about the poles of heaven, and didst not consider the things that relate to us. I fear a man like myself, a worm my fellow-worm, yet my God, the King of the universe, the Judge of all the kings of the earth, I do not fear! Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me! What wish have I but that I may see, — see thee, I say, about me, nay within me? for thou art not far from every one of us. Far be it from me henceforward not to have God always in my sight; be thou at my right hand, that I may not be moved. Oh, how great a necessity has been pointed out to me for living a good and holy life, since all that I do, always and in all places, is done in the sight of a Judge who beholds all things!
§ 8. Regulation of life or actions, and care of time.
Christ. Take care, then, to do all that thou dost decently, and according to order. For one who knows that some great person is an observer, nay censor of his actions, is earnestly cautious of offending his sight by confusion and disorder in his conduct. How wilt thou act, then, in my presence, who see all that thou dost? First, arrange thy actions in due course, and also lay out for thyself, as far as possible, every hour of the day. Provide what is to be done in each, and do whatever thou dost at the time appointed.
Dost thou wonder at advice of this kind, as though it were too scrupulous and particular? Yet know that whatever is from God is regular. Knowest thou not how great a lover of order am I, who have created all things in due order, weight, and measure? But my enemy, Satan, is a hater of order and author of confusion, for his looks are ever directed to the place where dwells, not order, but everlasting horror. It is, therefore, merely his artifice, when thou art engaged in any holy occupation, to suggest to thee something else to be done and attended to, to distract thee from it. But, to elude him, abandon thyself to the one thing thou art about; cast away or set aside awhile the care of other matters. Do every thing at its proper time. Apply thyself to business as it arises. Matters of greater importance and necessity, those, for instance, which concern my glory and thy own salvation, doubtless require deservedly a due, and the better portion of thy time. Avoid the absurd conduct of many, who bestow the greatest attention on things of the least moment, and the least on those of the greatest. They spend the best part of their time in worldly business and the care of their person, and the worst they reserve for me. Oh, how wrongly they calculate! Hence is it that they are seized with shame; hence they are troubled, and reel like drunken men, and all their wisdom is swallowed up. But thou, do not so, but arrange thy conduct with piety and prudence, and seek first the kingdom of God and his justice; so shalt thou enjoy great tranquillity of soul. For order produces peace; it makes known what is to be done, and when; it restrains the flightiness of the thoughts; it advances and finishes every work that is begun; it banishes idleness; while the very recurrence of the time warns thee of thy duty, and every hour calls for its own employment.
Man. Thy counsel, O Lord, is just and acceptable to me, but how can it be practised? Thou knowest, O Lord, how much time is often snatched from us, even against our will, by our employments, our affairs, visits, conversations of friends, and other necessities of this life. Thou seest too, O Jesus, that this corruptible body is a load upon the soul, and that our earthly habitation presses down the mind that muses upon many things.
Christ. This is what displeases me extremely, that there are so few who know the value of the time which I allow to men to do penance, to grow in my grace, and to gain glory in heaveD. Behold the acceptable time passes away, never to be recalled, and none lays it to heart; the days of salvation glide by, and no one mourns that the occasions which he had of doing good are gone, never to return.
But thou, shun, as far as thou canst, those thieves of time, friends, conversations, and profitless engagements; and Decause the days are evil, redeem the time that should be given to thy better friends, to me, and to thy souL Is that which I ask of thee a hard and troublesome thing? Look, how much time is given to the body, to food, sleep, recreation, conversation, entertainments, &c., and wilt thou not give so little to thy God, thy soul, and eternity? Oh, how prodigal are men of their time when it is for the service of vanity! how niggardly when it is to be devoted to piety, to which all of it justly is due!
Moreover, I advise thee, my son, not to have many occupations; for with various distractions, thou wilt not have strength for all. He that is less in action shall receive wisdom.[2] For the bed of thy heart is very narrow, and the short coverlet cannot cover both.[3] More than one of the wise, even of this world, have discovered that no one who is full of business can attain to soundness of judgment. And how wilt thou attain to true holiness, if overwhelmed with so many engagements? Look at men of business. Oh, if thou couldst look into their consciences, thou wouldst see how miserably they are torn, as though they were among thorns and briers; and how, amid so many cares and matters of business, the spiritis quenched by degrees, devotion dried up, and all relish for holy things gradually and insensibly destroyed. This is the way to hardness of heart, from thence to aversion, and finally to contempt and perdition. And what wonder! Strangers have devoured their strength, and they knew it not.[4]
If thou wouldst be wise at others’ cost (and this is true wisdom), take time to reflect that I am a God worthy to be adored by thee above all things. Where will be thy advantage, if, by neglecting me to be troubled about many things, thou gain the whole world, and with it the loss of thy soul? But be it that thou hast a vocation to labour, and canst not disengage thyself entirely from1 business, it is not my will for thee to neglect the duties of thy calling. Only try to be engaged in nothing but what is useful, honest, and necessary; so wilt thou find thyself rather failing the time, than the time thee. Or let thy soul at least turn oftener to its rest, and see to whom thou art most a debtor. Doubtless to the Lord, who, above all others, is thy benefactor.
Every day, therefore, go up at least once with Moses to the mountain, to converse with me. Withdraw a little from the crowd, and enter into thy chamber, and betake thyself, as it were, to a haven of rest after a storm; and when thou hast shut the door, speak to me in secret, and there, as in a desert, I will speak to thy heart what is for thy peace. Behold, even that pious heroine Judith had an oratory in the upper part of her house, which it was her daily custom to enter with her maids for the purpose of prayer. Thinkest thou that this was prejudicial to her plans and to her affairs? No, there was not a man so wise or successful,— none of the princes of the people brought to all that country so much aid and security as she.
Wouldst thou have a profitable exercise in this daily retreat? Such will readily occur to thee, when thou hast begun to be more intimate with me, and less engaged with men. See, then, pray and read. When thou prayest, thou speakest with me; when thou readest good books, I speak with thee: and what can be more noble, more profitable, or more pleasant to man?
Man. Ah, that is little indeed which thou requirest of us, O Lord! True it is, that the whole of our lifetime is thine alone. For as there is not moment but we enjoy thy blessings, so also there should be none that is wanting in thy recollection and praise. Oh, that I may do what thou hast taught me, that my whole day may pass as thou directest! Oh, that I may so attend to others, as never to forget thee; and make the love of thy glory, and of the heavenly Jerusalem, the foundation of all my joy!
§ 9. A guide, or spiritual director.
Christ. But beware, moreover, of being wise in thy own conceit, for so thou wilt easily fall. Woe to him that is alone, for when he falls, he has none to lift him up. There is none so wise, as not to need sometimes the counsel of one wiser than he. A wise man shall hear, and shall be the wiser;[5] but he that hates reproof is foolish.
Oh, how many are there whom self-love deceives! How many are blind in their own cause who are too sharpsighted in other men’s! Behold David: who was ever holier or dearer to me than he? Yet he afterwards fell, and committed a grievous sin; but acknowledged it not (though in the case of another he knew how to pass a sentence severe enough upon the spoiler of the lamb) until he was plainly reproved by my servant Nathan. My servant Moses, again, though I spoke with him face to face, was nevertheless willing to listen with no less profit to the counsel of Jethro, his father-in-law. So was Ananias heard with humility by Paul, Philip by the eunuch of Queen Candace, and Peter by Cornelius the centurion.
Have thou too, therefore, a faithful guide, one not ignorant of the artifices of Satan, whom thou mayest consult in cases of difficulty, to whom thou mayest discover the secrets of thy heart, and whose direction thou mayest follow with safety. But should he speak to thee things true and hard, rather than pleasant and soft, hate him not. Better are the wounds of a friend, than the deceitful kisses of an enemy.[6] Beware of imitating those who love iniquity, and hate their own souls, and so, having itching ears, seek for themselves soft teachers, and turn away their hearing from the truth. Beware, I say, of believing those who speak to thee nothing but what is pleasant; who say. Peace, and there is no peace. Does not the physician destroy the patient whom he spares? So do they deceive thee, who call thee happy when thou art not.
Be cautious, therefore, to whom thou entrustest the care of thy soul. If thou wert going to travel in dark midnight by an uuknown road, wouldst thou wish for a guide who was unacquainted with the way? If thou wert ill of a dangerous disease, wouldst thou desire to have an ignorant and inexperienced or tender physician, who, by sparing thee, would kill thee? No one entrusts his horse or his ox to the care of any but an honest and experienced person; yet thinkest thou that it is of small consequence to whom thou entrustest thy soul? It will, then, be safest for thee to entrust thy soul to one able to take care of his own. If the blind lead the blind, do not both fall into the ditch? For who will be good to one who is evil to himself?
Man. To err and be deceived is, I confess, O Lord, the lot of man. Oh, that thou wouldst provide mo a guide who has a zeal of God according to knowledge, able to instruct me in the spirit of gentleness and meekness, who seeks not his own, but the things of Jesus Christ; one, I say, who, for love of thee and of his neighbour, would not spare me, that thou, O Lord, mayest spare us both. Let the just man correct me plainly in mercy, and reprove me; but let not the oil of a flatterer anoint my head. In him I shall hear not so much the man as thyself speaking in him; for truth, come whence it may, is from thee, who art the first truth.
§ 10. Daily examination of conscience.
Christ. There is yet one thing to which thou must daily and earnestly attend, or thy labour upon others will seem thrown away. This is the daily examination of conscience, which is of such consequence, that without it there can be no hope of thy long continuance in a holy and spiritual life, or of thy solid progress in virtue. For since the knowledge of sin is the beginning of salvation, how shall one who does not even care to know his defects think seriously of amendment of life, compunction, or advancement in piety? How shall one who knows not when he has offended me, be anxious to obtain of me forgiveness and remission of sins? How shall one seek to be cured who is ignorant of his disease, and rather flatters himself that he is perfectly well; and is pleased with himself, as though he were a good man, and had done no evil; and says, I am rich, and have need of nothing, and knows not that he is wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked?
My son, if thou wouldst look into thyself, thou wouldst displease thyself and please me ; but because thou knowest not thyself, thou pleasest thyself and displeasest me. How many know much, yet know not themselves! yet all is vain which profits not for eternity. How many are engaged about others, and others’ affairs, while they neglect themselves! But thou, my son, if thou art wise, whatever becomes of others, set thy heart upon thy own ways, and have pity on thy own soul, than which thou hast nothing more dear or precious in thy life ; for what will it profit thee to lose it, songs thou gain the whole world?
Many. In many things, alas, O Lord, we all offend! But who shall understand his faults? If, indeed, we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Alas for the dulness of our heart, that we do not examine our ways, to try if our heart even do not reprehend us; but after having seared our conseiences, we dissemble our sins, as a nation that had done justice, and care so little for progress in the way of the Lord !
Christ. If you would judge yourselves, you certainly should not be judged. But because you excuse yourselves from self-examination, do you not receive the greater judgment? I exhort you, therefore, if, perchance, in the daytime you say any thing in your hearts, if (for out of the heart proceed all evil deeds) you think upon or consent to any evil in your mind, then recount, lament, and be sorry for this on your beds, when you are alone, out of the noisy crowd, composing your limbs to rest.
Oh, how miserably do they provide for themselves, who drag out the whole day in engagements, business, cares, and noise ; tired and drowsy, at last they hurry to rest ; so that it would be tiresome to them to devote ever so little time to prayer and examination! What shall I say of those who rise up early in the morning to follow drunkenness, and to drink till the evening, until they are inflamed with wine ; who close the day with eating, drinking, playing, jesting, and story- telling ; and so, at length, like the. besotted Holofernes, or a beast, lie down in their beds, buried in wine and sleep? Ah, fools! what if this very night death take you by the throat ; your poor souls, whither will they go? Shall not the tree lie where it fell? What, if that sleep be succeeded by a long and ever-lasting sleep, what, then, will those rich men find in their hands? What, if those unhappy persons be placed before their judge, still reeking with wine? Oh, how dreadful will it be for such people to fall into the hands of the living God! Understand this, you that forget God; lest he snatch you away, and there be none to deliver you.
Man. Enlighten my eyes, O Lord, that I may never sleep in death, lest at any time my enemy say, I have prevailed against him. For so to begin and so to end the day, in forgetfulness of God, without whom we can neither live, move, nor exist for a moment, is, I confess, -the life, not of a man, but of a beast. Grant to me never to go up into my bed, nor give sleep to my eves, or slumber to my eyelids, till I have first recounted to thee the past day in the bitterness of my soul, and so, with a contrite and humbled heart, which thou dost not despise, may be reconciled to thee, and in the self-same may sleep and rest in peace.[7]
Christ. This do, my son, and thou shalt live. Examine thyself, I say, earnestly and strictly every day, especially at night. Summon, as it were to the judgment-seat, the words, deeds, and thoughts of the whole day, and observe how thou hast sinned by commission, and how by omission. Consider how thou mightst have endeavoured to reduce to habitual practice the wholesome admonitions I have hitherto given thee, and in whatever thou findest thyself to have offended, condemn thyself, be sorry from thy heart, set thyself some penance, resolve to do better the day after, and for this ask for my grace; but first of all, return thanks for that day’s blessings received. Last of all, recommend to me thy body and soul. So shalt thou sleep in safety.
Otherwise, it is indeed great presumption, nay dangerous rashness, to go to sleep with a conscience laden with sins, and with myself offended and unreconciled to thee. Moreover, if thou make not this examination every day, and that not carelessly, but attentively, thou wilt ever stick in the same mire; after the lapse of months, and even years, the same faults will both live in thee still, and will gain additional strength; and so powerful will they become, that thou wilt not afterwards be able to expel them, because thou neglectedst to root out with the harrow of discipline and daily examination the thorns and briers, which this earth, which is subject to a curse, that is, thy corrupt nature, from time to time brings up to thee.
Man. I will bless thee, O Lord, at all times, thy praise shall be ever in my mouth. Blessed art thou, O Lord, who hast taught me from my youth; and oh, to old age and grey hairs, forsake me not! Oh, that my ways may be directed to keep all these words which I have now heard thee utter, lest the servant, that knows his lord’s will and does it not, should be worthy to be beaten with many stripes.