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Literal English Translation Original Latin (scanned) Line

Penis holds around thirty acres of meadows,
forty of arable land ; the rest is salt-marsh.
How can he fail to surpass Croesus in riches,
he who possesses so many good things:
pastures, plough-land, vast woods, fields and lakes
as far as the Hyperboreans and the open sea.
All this is great, but he himself is the greatest of all,
not a man, but actually a massive erect phallus.

Mēntŭla hăbēt nōstēr trīgīntā iūgĕră prātī.
quādrāgīnta āruī. cētĕră sūnt mărĭă.
cūr nōn dīuĭtĭīs Croēsūm sŭpĕrārĕ pŏtīs sĭt.
ūnō qui īn sāltū tōt bŏnă pōssĭdĕăt.
prāta. ārua. īngēntēs sīluās sāltāsquĕ pălūdēsque
ūsque ăd Hÿpērbŏrĕōs ēt măre ăd Ōcĕănŭm.
ōmnĭă māgna haēc sūnt. tămĕn īpsē est māxĭmŭs ūltrō.
nōn hŏmŏ. sēd uērō mēntŭlă māgnă mĭnāx.

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