Works of the late Doctor Benjamin Franklin/On Early Marriages
ESSAYS
HUMOROUS, MORAL, and LITERARY, &c.
ON EARLY MARRIAGES.
TO JOHN ALLEYNE, ESQ.
DEAR JACK,
YOU deſire, you ſay, my impartial thoughts on the ſubject of an early marriage, by way of anſwer to the numberleſs objections that have been made by numerous perſons to your own. You may remember, when you conſulted me on the occaſion, that I thought youth on both ſides to be no objection. Indeed, from the marriages that have fallen under my obſervation, I am rather inclined to think, that early ones ſtand the beſt chance of happineſs. The temper and habits of the young are not yet become ſo ſtiff and uncomplying, as when more advanced in life; they form more eaſily to each other, and hence many occaſions of diſguſt are removed. And if youth has leſs of that prudence which is neceſſary to manage a family, yet the parents and elder friends of young married perſons are generally at hand to afford their advice, which amply ſupplies that defect; and by early marriage, youth is ſooner formed to regular and uſeful life; and poſſibly ſome of thoſe accidents or connections, that might have injured the conſtitution, or reputation, or both, are thereby happily prevented. Particular circumſtances of particular perſons, may poſſibly ſometimes make it prudent to delay entering into that ſtate; but in general, when nature has rendered our bodies fit for it, the preſumption is in nature's favour, that ſhe has not judged amiſs in making us deſire it. Late marriages are often attended, too, with this further inconvenience, that there is not the ſame chance that the parents ſhall live to fee their offspring educated. "Late children," ſays the Spaniſh proverb, "are early "orphans." A melancholy reflection to thoſe whoſe caſe it may be! With us in America, marriages are generally in the morning of life; our children are therefore educated and ſettled in the world by noon; and thus, our buſineſs being done, we have an afternoon and evening of cheerful leiſure to ourſelves, ſuch as our friend at preſent enjoys. By theſe early marriages we are bleſſed with more children; and from the mode among us, founded by nature, of every mother ſuckling and nurſing her own child, more of them are raiſed. Thence the ſwift progreſs of population among us, unparalleled in Europe. In fine, I am glad you are married, and congratulate you moſt cordially upon it. You are now in the way of becoming a uſeful citizen; and you have eſcaped the unnatural ſtate of celibacy for life—the fate of many here, who never intended it, but who having too long poſtponed the change of their condition, find, at length, that it is too late to think of it, and ſo live all their lives in a ſituation that greatly leſſens a man's value. An odd volume of a ſet of books, bears not the value of its proportion to the ſet: what think you of the odd half of a pair of ſciſſars? it can't well cut any thing; it may poſſibly ſerve to ſcrape a trencher.
Pray make my compliments and beſt wiſhes acceptable to your bride. I am old and heavy, or I ſhould ere this have preſented them in perſon. I ſhall make but ſmall uſe of the old man's privilege, that of giving advice to younger friends. Treat your wife always with reſpect; it will procure reſpect to you, not only from her, but from all that obſerve it. Never uſe a ſlighting expreſſion to her, even in jeſt; for ſlights in jeſt, after frequent bandyings, are apt to end in angry earneſt. Be ſtudious in your profeſſion, and you will be learned. Be induſtrious and frugal, and you will be rich. Be ſober and temperate, and you will be healthy. Be in general virtuous, and you will be happy. At leaſt, you will, by ſuch conduct, ſtand the beſt chance for ſuch conſequences. I pray God to bleſs you both! being ever your affectionate friend,