Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/He Didn't Understand

by Charles Follen Adams

HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

"Pray how is your daughter, friend Scroggins?

I hear that she had quite a fall

While dancing the German, last evening,

At Montague's recherche ball.

"I'm sorry Miss Laura was injured,

And hope that no serious harm

Will ensue from the fall; I assure you

Wife and I were quite filled with alarm.

"Those dresses with trails are a nuisance;

They didn't wear them in our day.

No wonder that accidents happen

With such things to get in one's way.

"When we used to dance, my dear Scroggina,

There were no such 'pullbacks' as these

To mar our delight in the ' mazy,'

And trip us, perchance, on our knees.

"You could balance, and go down the centre,

And dance the Virginia reel,

Without walking half up a panier,

With the bustle caught on to your heel.

"Mrs. Grundy called over this morning,

And said, with a smirk and grimace,

That Laura, last night at the party,

Was horribly banged round the face.

"So I thought I'd come over and ask you

If she was improving to-day,

And if we could be of assistance

In any conceivable way.

"Mrs. Grundy said—""Zounds, Mr. Jenkins,

Just tell Mrs. G. to be hanged!

There's nothing the matter with Laura;

'Twas her hair, not her face, that was 'banged.'