Yawcob Strauss and Other Poems/My Infundibuliform Hat
MY INFUNDIBULIFORM HAT.
- The scenes of my childhood, how oft I recall!
- The sports of my youth, with my kite, top, and ball;
- And that happy day when, with spirits elate,
- I took my first step towards manhood's estate,
- With a new coat and vest, bosom shirt and cravat,
- And début with my infundibuliform hat.
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![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f3/Yawcob_Strauss_1910-101.png/220px-Yawcob_Strauss_1910-101.png)
- How I stooped beneath awnings full seven feet high,
- To the no small delight of my friends passing by;
- And the sport that I made for the boys at the store
- When I "chalked" at the height of my "tile" on the door;
- One foot and two inches—I think it was that—
- My guess on that infundibuliform hat.
![](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/Yawcob_Strauss_1910-102.jpg/220px-Yawcob_Strauss_1910-102.jpg)
- Then my maiden attempt as a maiden's gallant
- When I proffered my elbow, with glances aslant;
- And the walk to her dwelling that evening so fair,
- Not to speak of the tete-a-tete when we got there,
- The forfeit I claimed, as together we sat,
- When she tried on my infundibuliform hat.
- Well! boys will be boys, and we men, after all,
- Would gladly be freed from Time's pitiless thrall,
- And live those days over, when, single and free—
- Zounds! wife's looking over my shoulder to see
- What I have been writing. . . . Well, we've had a spat,
- And she smashed my infundibuliform hat.