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of coals, shoes, &c., to this she replied—"Why, deed sirs, it's just to buy a pair o' corsets to my daughter Tibboc, ilk lass that's ocht respectable has them but hersel', so ye see she canna do wantin them, an' ye maun e'en let me ha't sirs."


CAPTAIN SILK.

In a party of ladies, on it being reported that a Captain Silk had arrived in town, they exclaimed, with one exception, 'What a name for a soldier!' 'The fittest name in the world,' replied a witty female, 'for Silk never can be Worsted!'


MARCH OF INTELLECT.

Two country carters, passing the entrance to the Arcade, Argyll street, Glasgow, observed painted on the wall, "No Dogs to enter here." "No Dogs to enter here!" exclaimed one of them, "I'm sure there's nae use for that there." "What way, Jock," replied the other. "'Cause dogs canna read signs," said he. "Ha, ha, Jock, ye're may be wrang, I'se warran ye gentle folk’s dogs 'ill ken't brawley, for there’s schools, noo, whar they learn the dumb baith to read an' speak."