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THE FAMILY ALBUM
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He liked his gin and orange juice, but when prohibition started in he found it difficult to get the orange juice. So, in spite of all the friendly advice he used to hear when the married neighbors were throwing dishes at one another, he got married to a lady acrobat.

They started in housekeeping with a birdcage and trapeze. Then he went into business like the United States Cigar Stores and opened up a profit-sharing chain of police stations.

After that he came to New York on the O'Sullivan Line. The first thing he did was to go into the theatrical business and managed a lot of shows.

Folks didn't exactly say that he kept all the money. But they did say that he managed Singer's Midgets because they had small pockets.

He was very temperamental and possessed that artistic flair that made him get his nails manicured just before he threw a Belgian block through the window of a Chinese laundry. He was always dieting and claimed to be a vegetarian, but when he was invited out to dine he could do more to a free meal than Nebraska's thirty-sixth vote did to the brewery business.

Funny how so many guys can be vegetarians be-