Lancashire Legends, Traditions, Pageants, Sports, &c./Part 5/Similes
Just tak' th' chill off it [ale].
Aw're us't that aw could ha' swallut it iv it had bin as cowd as snowbo's; bo' mi clock-wark's gettin like owd Gimp's cart-shaft—rayther temporary.
As hee's th' Teawer o' Babel, an' a breek or two o' th' top on 't.
Aw'm thawin' neaw, like a snowbo' on a top-bar.
Aw've no moor use for a penknife nor Queen Victorey has for a yeld-hook [heald-hook].
A foowt-bo' 'ut'll beawnce like a yung widow at a club-dinner.
He doanc't abeawt th' floor like a scopperill.
As toof as Jone o' Buckler's barn-beef.
As still as a mile-stone.
"Every mon to his likin, but no moor o' yor stew for me," as Holloper said when he fund th' ratton-bwones in his lobscouse.
"Neaw for summat fresh," as Adam o' Rappers said when he roll't off th' kitchen slate into th' midden-hole.
He danc't up an' deawn war nor a drunken pace-egger.
As stiff [dead] as a maggot.
As cramm'd [ill-tempered] as a wisket, an' as 'cute as Dick's hat-band.
That winter 'ut things wurn so bad bent him deawn like a windle.
His hant wur as thin as a comm [comb].
He 're as quiet as a stopt clock; he 're stark deead.
Aw'd no brass [money] o' mi awn; nobbut what had as monny legs as an earwig.
We're o' oo a litter, like Kitter pigs [i.e., the pigs of the sand-knockers of Smallbridge].
It's war [worse] nor muckin wi' sond an' drainin wi' cinders.
His e'e-seet cuts across somewheer abeawt th' end ov his nose as sharp as a pair o' sithors.
"Every one to ther likins," as owd George o' Jammy's sed when he swallut th' suvverin.
Off aw seet deawn th' fowt, like a thrail dog.
It 'ud melt th' heart o' a whet-stone, or, what's harder, a putter-eawt.
That's same as owd Nanny Roger's blynt hoss; it's a ripper.
He sprawlt like a stricken tooad upo' the greawnd.
As quiet as a chapel.
He 're straight as ony picken-rod,
And limber as a snig.
Goo trailin' abeawt
Like a hen at 's i' th' meawt [moult].
Rascots i' th' ward ar' as thick as wasps in a hummobee neest.
As thrunk as Throp's wife, when she hang'd hersel' in th' dish-cloot.
As cross as an ex [the letter x].
Hoo keck'd as stiff as if hoo'd swallud a poker.
As droy as soot.
As fat as a snig, as smoot as a mowdywarp, an as plain as a pike-staff.
As gaunt as a grewant [greyhound].
As mute and modest as mowdywarps.
As stiff as a gablock [crowbar].
As gawmless as a goose.
As hongry as a rotton.
Me throttle's as dry as a kex [gex = gewse = Long saxifrage].
It'd weeary a grooin tree.
He skens [squints] ill enough to crack a lookin'-glass welly.
He's as feaw [ugly] as an empty pot ole o'er beside bein as dirty as Thump o' Dolly's 'at deed wi bein wesht.
He stares like a tarrier-dog uts watchin a ratton.
Aw've no moor use for a book nor a duck has for a umbrell.
Aw'st keep comin ogeean, yo may depend;—like Clegg Ho' boggart.
As rich as Cheetham o' Castleton.
They swore like hoss-swappers.
Tim Bobbin cud write a clear print hond, as smo as smithy smudge.
As consated as a wisket [basket].
He used to be as limber [lively] as a treawt when he're young; bud neaw he's us wambley [shaky] and slamp [tottering] as a barrow full o' warp sizin.
As hard as a cobbler's lapstone.
A face as long as Solomon Sampson's sow; which could never learn to talk, but was a devil to think.
Poor and peart, like the parson's pig.
Puffing like a porpoise-pig.
Squilting like a duck in thunder.
Grinning like my granny at a hot puff-cake.
Like a mule at a nettle early in spring.
Grinning like a clown through a horse-collar at Eccles wakes for a pound o' 'bacco.
As patient as Willy Wood's horse, ut died one day in a fit o' patience, waitin for fodder.