OF AMBROSE BIERCE
145
I hold no speech of your desert,
Nor baffle with porrected shield
The wooden weapon that you wield,
But meet you with a cast of dirt.
Dispute with such a thing as you—
Twin show to the two-headed calf?
Why, sir, if I repress my laugh,
'Tis more than half the world can do.
BORN LEADERS OF MEN
Tuckerton Tamerlane Morey Mahosh
Is a statesman of world-wide fame,
With a notable knack at rhetorical bosh
To glorify somebody's name—
Somebody chosen by Tuckerton's masters
To succor the country from divers disasters
Portentous to Mr. Mahosh.
Percy O'Halloran Tarpy Cabee
Is in the political swim.
He cares not a button for men, not he;
Great principles captivate him—