to give her to the others' exalted son to wife. Samples of the girl's needlework and embroidery are also sent for the boy's parents to inspect.
The lad's parents then draw up the hun shu 婚書 or form of agreement, leaving a blank space for the girl's name and other particulars about her. A lucky day is selected and presents of silk, chickens, ducks, etc., prepared. The go-between takes these to the girl's home, and asks that the particulars about the girl may be filled in on the hun shu. This done, he worships at the family shrine in the girl's home, using incense and candles specially bought for the occasion. Then presents are returned in the same box which brought the others, and the middleman or a representative of the girl's family worships at the shrine in the boy's home.
On the agreement are written the characters 天長 t‘ien ch‘ang above the boy's horoscope, and 地久 ti chiu above the girl's. The meaning is that the agreement is as lasting as heaven and earth. It is really as binding as any known in China, and the saying is that a lawsuit about a marriage agreement or about land will go through eighteen courts before being settled. Other proverbs are 說給猪跟猪走說給狗坐地守 "If engaged to a pig you must go its way; if to a dog you must sit down and bear it." And 說給呌化子提沙鍋也要跟到披蓆片. "If engaged to a beggar, pick up the earthenware bowl and follow the sleeping-rags."
In some cases when a family has become poor after betrothal and before the wedding, a girl will cut off her hair in the bridal chair, which results in her being sent home again. After this her only resource is to become a nun; yet even in the temple she may still be claimed by her betrothed at any time. In cases where parents wish to break off an engagement because the other family has become poor a lawsuit is certain. One man in such a case was bound down not to take a wife for his son till he had sent his daughter to her betrothed: thus cutting off the line of succession and putting both families on the same footing.
The home which is to receive the bride gets a fortune-teller to fix a lucky day; he also arranges the hour for every movement of hers. This is called k‘an nien yüeh 看年月,
