Page:Chinese Life in the Tibetan Foothills.djvu/33

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THE TIBETAN FOOTHILLS
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The bride returns then to her new home for some ten days, and much of her future happiness depends on the way this time is passed. Then she goes to her old home for a stay of ten days, shua shih 耍十 or ten days' play; after which her new duties begin in earnest.

At the New Year the couple make presents to the husband's father, and again at the season for planting rice they send him wine; and this is the last of the marriage formalities.

The following proverbs refer to young wives 男敎嬰孩女敎初來. "The best time to teach a boy is when he is a child; the best time to teach a girl is when she is newly married." And 三天孩子娘慣的三天媳婦慣的 "In three days a mother can spoil a child, and in three days a mother-in-law can spoil a daughter-in-law."

Sometimes a girl is sent to the house of her mother-in-law while still a child, and grows up beside her future husband till they are marriageable. This class of marriage is much looked down upon by most people.

When a widow re-marries the terms used are ch'u hsing 出姓, depart from the name; ch'u men 出門, to go out of the door; tsai chia 再嫁 to marry again; tsai chiao 再醮 to drink again (the nuptial cup).

Her step-children call her hou mu 後母 or chi mu 繼母.

Marrying concubines is very common in West Ssŭch'uan, 接小 chieh hsiao or 娶妾 ch'ü ch'ieh. The limit in each case depends on the man and his purse. The saying runs 有志男兒接三妻. "The resolute man marries three wives." Of these concubines three are called wives, the fourth a concubine, the fifth and sixth are slaves, the seventh and eighth are big and little maids.

Sometimes a woman takes a husband to her home 倒住苗 tao chu miao. This is a remnant of the polyandry of the tribes.