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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

' But who do you think wants your coffins here ? There are quite enough undertakers in Moscow without you.’ ‘ But what about the epidemic ? ’ ' Epidemic ? What epidemic ? ’ ' I was told that there was an epidemic in Moscow and that there weren’t enough coffins to go round. So I thought I might mend matters.’ Bender, who had been hstening attentively to this conversation, now interrupted : ‘ Listen, old man,’ he said. ‘ You’ve made a mistake. There isn’t an epidemic here^—it’s in Paris.’ ‘ In Paris ? ’ ' Yes. You must go to Paris. You’U find masses of work to be done there. There are hundreds of undertakers in Moscow without you adding to the number.’ Bezenchuk looked round, saw that people were quite hale and hearty and that some of them were even laughing. Long after the train had carried away Hippolyte, Bender, the Columbus Theatre company and various other passengers, Bezenchuk was still standing on the platform gazing hopelessly down at his coffins.