"I don’t forget my old friends, you see," said Mr. Feeder. "I ask 'em to my wedding, Toots."
"Feeder," replied Mr. Toots gravely, "the fact is, that there were several circumstances which prevented me from communicating with you until after my marriage had been solemnised. In the first place, I had made a perfect brute of myself to you, on the subject of Miss Dombey; and I felt that if you were asked to any wedding of mine, you would naturally expect that it was with Miss Dombey, which involved explanations, that upon my word and honour, at that crisis, would have knocked me completely over. In the second place, our wedding was strictly private; there being nobody present but one friend of myself and Mrs. Toots’s, who is a Captain in—I don’t exactly know in what," said Mr. Toots, "but it’s of no consequence. I hope, Feeder, that in writing a statement of what had occurred before Mrs. Toots and myself went abroad upon our foreign tour, I fully discharged the offices of friendship."
"Toots, my boy," said Mr. Feeder, shaking his hands, "I was joking."
"And now, Feeder," said Mr. Toots, "I should be glad to know what you think of my union."
"Capital!" returned Mr. Feeder.
"You think it’s capital, do you, Feeder?" said Mr. Toots solemnly. "Then how capital must it be to Me! For you can never know what an extraordinary woman that is."
Mr. Feeder was willing to take it for granted. But Mr. Toots shook his head, and wouldn’t hear of that being possible.
"You see," said Mr. Toots, "what I wanted in a wife was—in short, was sense. Money, Feeder, I had. Sense I—I had not, particularly."
Mr. Feeder murmured, "Oh, yes, you had, Toots!" But Mr. Toots said:
"No, Feeder, I had not. Why should I disguise it? I had not. I knew that sense was There," said Mr. Toots, stretching out his hand towards his wife, "in perfect heaps. I had no relation to object or be offended, on the score of station; for I had no relation. I have never had anybody belonging to me but my guardian, and him, Feeder, I have always considered as a Pirate and a Corsair. Therefore, you know it was not likely," said Mr. Toots, "that I should take his opinion."
"No," said Mr. Feeder.
"Accordingly," resumed Mr. Toots, "I acted on my own. Bright was the day on which I did so! Feeder! Nobody but myself can tell what the capacity of that woman’s mind is. If ever the Rights of Women, and all that kind of thing, are properly attended to, it will be through her powerful intellect—Susan, my dear!" said Mr. Toots, looking abruptly out of the windows "pray do not exert yourself!"
"My dear," said Mrs. Toots, "I was only talking."
"But, my love," said Mr. Toots, "pray do not exert yourself. You really must be careful. Do not, my dear Susan, exert yourself. She’s so easily excited," said Mr. Toots, apart to Mrs. Blimber, "and then she forgets the medical man altogether."
Mrs. Blimber was impressing on Mrs. Toots the necessity of caution, when Mr. Feeder, B.A., offered her his arm, and led her down to the carriages that were waiting to go to church. Doctor Blimber escorted Mrs. Toots. Mr. Toots escorted the fair bride, around whose lambent spectacles two gauzy little bridesmaids fluttered like moths. Mr. Feeder’s
