Page:Free Opinions, Freely Expressed on Certain Phases of Modern Social Life and Conduct.djvu/145

unexpectedly at times concerning "Betty—you've heard of her surely? Countess Betty—the Countess of Hockyfield—oh yes!—you English snobs rather 'kotow' to her, but I call her Betty!—she likes it!" He may frequently be found in residence on the fourth floor back of a swagger hotel, occupying a "bed-sitting room" littered with guide books, "yellow" journalism, and dubious French novels, with an impressionist sketch of the newest Paris "danseuse" in her most suggestive want of attire set conspicuously forward for inspection. If chance visitors happen to notice flowers on his table, he at once seethes into a simmering scum of self-adulation. "Charming, are they not!" he says—"So sweet! So dear of the Duchess to send them!—she knows how fond I am of Malmaisons!—did you notice that Malmaison?—the Duchess gathered it for me herself—it is from one of the Sandringham stock. Of course you know the carnation houses at Sandringham? Alex. delights in Malmaisons!" And when guileless strangers gasp and blink as they realize that it is England's gracious Queen-Consort who is being spoken of as "Alex." in the company of the soiled literature and the portrait of the Paris "danseuse" the Bounder is delighted. He feels he has made a point. He chortles cheerfully on—"What a rotten old country this is after all, eh? Just crawling alive with snobs! Everyone's on their knees to a title, and the sight of a lord seems to give the average Britisher a fit. Now look at me! I don't care a cent about your dukes and earls. Why should I? I'm always with 'em—fact is, they can't bear to have me out of their sight!