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It nevertheless can't be denied,
I feel its inconvenient side;
For she has lots of Alton stock,
As good as gold, and firm as a rock.
But there 'd be the deuce to pay, O Lord,
If I patch'd up a match with my wealthy ward,
Which rather gets up my dander, for
I 'm such a susceptible counselor.
So if a director would marry my ward,
He must come to me for my accord;
In the Alton office I 'll sit all day,
To hear what agreeable men may say.
But Phyllis declares she 's not for he.
She 's not for thou, and she 's not for thee,
She wont have you, and she wont have ye,
Because her mind is made up for
A Chicago & Alton director.

(Enter Lord Beeseekew.)

LORD B.—And now let us proceed to the business of the day. Few of us have done any business for many days.

COUNSELOR—True. Let us proceed more rapidly than your trains. Phyllis, my ward, has so powerfully affected you that you have let all your railways go to eternal smash, and you have asked me to give her to whichever one of you I may select. It would be idle for me to deny that I, too, have been wonderfully attracted to this young woman. My affection for her is rapidly undermining my constitution, just as it has undermined the constitutions of all your railways. But we shall hear what she has to say herself, for here she comes.

(Enter Phyllis.)

RECITATIVE.

My well lov'd lord and guardian dear,
You summoned me, and I am here.

CHORUS OF GENERAL PASSENGER AGENTS.

Oh, rapture! how beautiful,
How gentle, how dutiful!