Page:Poems Howard.djvu/104

And when for strength I humbly pray
 Some impish scion titters:
"Why, don't you know, the papers say
 To try 'Red Jacket Bitters.'"

I shudder at the thought of sin,
 Its fearful avalanches;
And then get interested in
 "Cow-boys and Cattle-ranches."

I wish my life were more like Paul's—
 Devoted, nobler, truer—
Then somehow get submerged in " all's
 Sicilian Hair Renewer."

My aching heart suffused with grief
 Pulsates a little faster
To know that there is sweet relief
 Beneath a "Porous Plaster."

I read it through in every part,
 So serious and solemn,
And then cut out and learn by heart
 That "awful funny" column.

The times are hard—I cannot spare
 A dime—much less a dollar—
But I must re-subscribe, and wear
 A shirt without a collar.