38 DEVENDRANATH TAGORE CHAP I
where she remained living for three nights. During this time I was always there with her, by the river. On the night before Didima's death I was sitting at Nimtola Ghat[1] on a coarse mat near the shed. It was the night of the full moon; the moon had risen, the burning ground was near. They were singing the Holy Name to Didima:
Will such a day ever come, that while uttering the name of Hari, life will leave me?[2]
The sounds reached my ears faintly, borne on the night-wind; at this opportune moment a strange sense of the unreality of all things suddenly entered my mind. I was as if no longer the same man. A strong aversion to wealth arose within me. The coarse bamboo-mat on which I sat seemed to be my fitting seat, carpets and costly spreadings seemed hateful, in my mind was awakened a joy unfelt before. I was then eighteen years old.
