Page:The Autobiography of Maharshi Devendranath Tagore.djvu/87

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CHAPTER II

Up to this time I had been plunged in a life of luxury and pleasure. I had never sought after spiritual truths. What was religion? What was God? I knew nothing, had learnt nothing. My mind could scarcely contain the unworldly joy, so simple and natural, which I experienced at the burning-ghat. Language is weak in every way: how can I make others understand the joy I felt? It was a spontaneous delight, to which nobody can attain by argument or logic. God Himself seeks for the opportunity of pouring it out. He had vouchsafed it unto me in the fulness of time. Who says there is no God? This is proof enough of His existence.

I was not prepared for it; whence then did I receive this joy? With this sense of joy and renunciation, I returned home at midnight. That night I could not sleep. It was this blissful state of mind that kept me awake. Throughout the night my heart was suffused with a moonlight radiance of joy. At day break I went again to the river-side to see Didima.39