light commodity of words for a lighter ware then words, Plaudities and the Breath of the great Beast, which (like the threatnings of two Cowards) vanish all into aire. Plaiers are their Factors, who put away the stuffe, and make the best of it they possibly can (as indeed tis their parts so to doe). Your Gallant, your Courtier, and your Capten, had wont to be the soundest paymaisters, and I thinke are still the surest chapmen: and these by meanes that their heades are well stockt, deale vpon this comical freight by the grosse: when your Groundling, and Gallery Commoner buyes his sport by the penny, and, like a Hagler, is glad to vtter it againe by retailing.
Sithence then the place is so free in entertainment, allowing a stoole as well to the Farmers sonne as to your Templer: that your Stinkard has the selfe same libertie to be there in his Tobacco-Fumes, which your sweet Courtier hath: and that your Car-man and Tinker claime as strong a voice in their suffrage, and sit to giue iudgement on the plaies life and death, as well as the prowdest Momus among the tribe of Critick: It is fit that hee, whom the most tailors bils do make roome for, when he comes should not be basely (like a vyoll) casd vp in a corner.
Whether therefore the gatherers of the publique or priuate Play-*house stand to receiue the afternoones rent, let our Gallant (hauing paid it) presently aduance himselfe vp to the Throne of the Stage. I meane not into the Lords roome, (which is now but the Stages Suburbs). No, those boxes, by the iniquity of custome, conspiracy of waiting-women and Gentlemen-Ushers, that there sweat together, and the couetousnes of Sharers, are contemptibly thrust into the reare, and much new Satten is there dambd by being smothred to death in darknesse. But on the very Rushes where the Commedy is to daunce, yea and vnder the state of Cambises himselfe must our fethered Estridge, like a peece of Ordnance be planted valiantly (because impudently) beating downe the mewes and hisses of the opposed rascality.
For do but cast vp a reckoning, what large cummings in are pursd vp by sitting on the Stage. First a conspicuous Eminence is gotten; by which meanes the best and most essenciall parts of a Gallant (good cloathes, a proportionable legge, white hand, the Persian lock, and a tollerable beard) are perfectly reuealed.
By sitting on the stage, you haue a signd pattent to engrosse the whole commodity of Censure; may lawfully presume to be a Girder: and stand at the helme to steere the passage of Scænes[;] yet no man shall once offer to hinder you from obtaining the title of an insolent, ouer-weening Coxcombe.
By sitting on the stage, you may (without trauelling for it) at the very next doore, aske whose play it is: and, by that Quest of inquiry, the law warrants you to auoid much mistaking; if you know not the author, you may raile against him: and peraduenture so behaue your selfe, that you may enforce the Author to know you.
By sitting on the stage, if you be a Knight, you may happily get you a Mistresse: if a mere Fleet street Gentleman, a wife: but assure
