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THE GREEN BAG
THE LIGHTER SIDE His Client Won the Case. — The late Charles P. Thompson of the Supreme Court at one time in his practice had a client named Michael Dougherty, who had been arrested for the ille gal sale of liquor. The police had no evidence •except one pint of whisky, which their search •of his alleged kitchen bar-room revealed. In the Superior Court this evidence was produced and a somewhat vivid claim made •of prima facie evidence of guilt by the prosecu ting attorney. During all this Mr. Thompson was silent. When his turn came for the defense he arose and said : "Michael Dougherty, take the stand." And •"Mike," with big red nose, unshaven face, bleared eyes and a general appearance of •dilapitation and dejection, took the stand. "Michael Dougherty, look upon the jury. Gentlemen of the jury, look on Michael Dough erty, " said Mr. Thompson. All complied. Mr. Thompson himself, silently and steadily gazing at "Mike" for a moment, slowly and with solemnity, turned to the jury and said: "Gentlemen of the jury, do you mean to say to this Court and to me that you honestly and truly believe that Michael Dougherty, if he had a pint of whiskey, would sell it?" It is needless to say "Mike" was acquitted, — Boston Herald. Colonial. — " Colonel " McConogue, of Mason 'City, I., a leading lawyer of that State, received the sobriquet which lends military dignity to his name by having been on the staff of the late Governor Boise. He is too young a man to have been in the Civil War, and was too busy with a paying law practice to help whip the Spanliards. The "Colonel," is a large man, with a great store of severe dignity. Some years ago "he attended the American Bar Association, -and was constantly referred to by the Iowa contingent as the "Colonel." One day, Mr. A , a little inquisitive lawyer from some where down in Massachusetts, accosted the •dignified Colonel with: "Excuse me, Mr. McConlogue, but will you kindly tell me where you got your appelation of 'Colonel'; you don't appear to be old enough to have been in the Civil War?" McConlogue, assuming his .most imperious look, eyed the little man for
fully a minute, and then burst out: "Good God, man, go read your country's history!" A Non-Possibility. — He was a large, rawboned, red-faced lawyer from Maine, lately settled in a Southern State, 'and, of course, ambitious of making a reputation in his pro fession. His mouth was so large that it was unnecessary for him in uttering a word to more than half open his mouth, the corners thereof being the parts called into requisition. He bad on the inquisitorial block, a back woodsman as a witness. The witness had replied to a question from the interrogating lawyer, that "It was a non-possibility." Quoth the lawyer, "a non-possibility?" "Xow will you tell this Court and this jury here what you mean by a non-possibility? Give us an example." Witness: "Well I think it u'd be a non-possibility to make your mouf enny bigger widout setting your years furder back." Of .course the dignity of the court was suspended. Lamar and Taft. — Secretary Taft has always been an enthusiastic admirer of the late Justice Lamar, of Mississippi. Mr. Taft was assistant attorney-general when Justice Lamar was on the United States supreme bench. The first time the big Ohio man appeared before that august tribunal, he stumbled through a small duty just as the judges were about to retire. He was much embarrassed and felt that he had not appeared at all to advantage. As he was about to hurry away Justice Lamar came over, threw an arm over his shoulder and said in kindly tones: "It's all right, my boy. Don't you be afraid of those old fellows on the bench. They won't bite you. Even if they wanted to their teeth are too old and worn to do much damage. If you but knew it, yours are twice as sharp." The secretary in telling of this incident says: "From that day to this I have never ceased to thank the lovable Mississippian for making me have faith in myself." The Theory of Insurance. — ANXIOUS INQUIRER IN INSURANCE OFFICE. — "I understand that for $5 I can insure my house for $1,000?"
