THE LIGHTER SIDE CLERK. — " Yes, madam; if your house burns down, we pay you $1,000." INQUIRER. — "And do you make any inquiries as to the origin of the fire? ' ' CLERK. —-"We make the most careful inquiries, madam." INQUIRER. — "Ah! I thought there was a catch in it somewhere." — Fireman's Fund Record. Case for the Court's Ruling. — Going down Chesapeake Bay on an excursion when the wind was fresh and the white-caps tumultuous, Judge Hall, of North Carolina, became terribly sea sick. "My dear Hall," said Chief Justice Waite, -who was one of the party, and who was as comfortable as an old sea-dog, "can I do any thing for you? Just suggest what you wish." "1 wish," groaned the sick jurist, "that your honor would over-rule this motion. " — Boston Herald. Ancestral Damages. — Playwrights will hence forth have to be careful how they wound the sensibilities of the descendants of historic per sonages hitherto thought to have been "bad •ones. " The grandson of Bertier Sauvigny, who as comptroller-general of the treasury was hanged to a lamp-post during the French revo lution, has obtained a judgment and damages against the author of a play describing his ancestor as a "villain," as he probably was. What is to prevent the descendants of Cain — and there are many — from now bringing suits against people who speak of him as a murderer and wanting in the fraternal instinct? His One Plea. — Joseph S was on trial for the murder of his father and mother; the evidence was direct and conclusive and the jury handed in a verdict of "Guilty in the first de gree" without leaving their seats. The judge asked "Joseph S have you anything to say before this Court proceeds to sentence?" "Only this, Your Honor," S replied, 411 hope you will use the customary' leniency to orphans." On His Own Recognizances. — Peter Smith had fallen from an elevator in Kansas City and was somewhat shaken up and bruised, and when he • picked himself up, the only bystander, an utter
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stranger, seeing the frown on his face, and notic ing that he was not hurt, laughed at him, whereupon Peter promptly called him a " Lunkheaded old fool," and walked off. . . . A few months later, the damage suit of said Peter Smith against the elevator company was being tried in the Circuit Court, wherein said Peter claimed that he was greatly injured by the fall aforesaid, was picked up uncon scious, etc. The aforesaid stranger was a witness for the defendant and testified that plaintiff was not picked up unconscious but that he "picked himself up and walked off." When asked how he knew that plaintiff was not unconscious, he replied, "He recognized me. " He was then asked if plaintiff had ever seen him before and replied in the negative, whereupon he was asked what plaintiff said to him that caused him to think that plain tiff recognized him. His answer quoted plain tiff's language to him given above, his reply being, "He called me a ' Lunk-headed old fool. ' " It is needless to say that it took some time to restore solemnity -in the court room. So held in Michigan. — Some years ago a very able lawyer, whom, for purposes of designation we shall call "Judge Jones" for the simple reason that that was not his real name and we do not care to give away his identity, who has since become prominent as a law writer, and whose books adorn the shelves of most up-to-date attorneys, was called, on account of his known ability, to the position of law lec turer in a college of law in a western city, which shall be nameless. Now, the judge, as already stated, though an able lawyer and excellent instructor, was nervous and somewhat fussy, as well as quick tempered and inclined to scold, and this the students soon discovered and often took advan tage of it to annoy him. In the course of his law lectures, in speak ing of any mooted ' law question, he would give the holdings of the courts of the different states, but most frequently referring to the courts of the State of Michigan, as he was more conversant with "holdings" of the courts of that State than any other (he had practised in that State before accepting the position which he then held), and by the
