70
THE GREEN BAG
When he was arraigned before a magistrate, he was told that he might select counsel from the five lawyers present, at the expense of the county. The tramp looked at the five lawyers and then, turning to the judge, said : "Your honor, I guess I might as well plead guilty." General Gilmore Marston, a once famous New Hampshire lawyer, is credited with having furnished this excellent bit of court house humor. During the trial of a civil suit, one of a firm of three lawyers took exception to the ruling of the judge on a motion that had been denied. He remonstrated with such force and persistence that he was fined ten dollars for contempt of court. Another of the firm took up the objection with the result that he too was fined ten dollars. The senior member of the firm stepped into the breach and attempted to alter the court's views, and a similar fine was imposed upon him. General Marston, who had been an atten tive listener during the trial, rose from his seat and advanced to the clerk's desk. From his pocket he took a large roll of bills and pealing off two ten dollars notes, laid them on the clerk's desk. "May I ask what that is for?" said the judge. "I want you to distinctly understand," said General Marston, "that I have twice as much contempt for this damn court as any one here, and I'm paying for it." Corporation Lawyers. — " Horse-thief " has for the present been superseded as a term of opprobrium by " corporation lawyer." It is not actionable yet to call a citizen a corpora tion lawyer, but it is felt — even the President feels it — that it is a very hard name to give him. All existing lawyers may be classified in two groups : those whose practice includes work for corporations and those whose practice doesn't. Most of the ablest and best lawyers are included in the former group, which also
includes, no doubt, some who are able but not so good. The lawyers, since the foundation of our government, have given the country a large proportion of its political leaders. Un doubtedly they will continue to do so, but for the present the fact that the ablest of them work for coqsorations has considerably affected their availability as political guides. We do not see that the abatement of their political influence or eligibility for office has as yet re sulted in any marked advantage to the State. Mr. Roosevelt is not a lawyer, but there are those who consider that he would not be any less a useful President if his mind had been fed a bit on law while it was still growing. Mr. Odell is not a lawyer, nor Mr. McCarren, nor Mr. Fingy Conners, nor Mr. Murphy, nor Mr. Hearst. We bet. though, that five law yers could easily be found in New York state (and corporation lawyers at that) in whose hands political leadership and office could be entrusted just as safely as to the five patriots mentioned. Much might be said in favor of excluding men in active business from office, and even of depriving them of the right to vote, on the ground that their business interests made it impossible for them to form impartial judg ments of what course would best promote the public welfare. There is far less reason for prejudice against lawyers in public life, for an honest lawyer when he takes office takes the people for his client, and the more he knows by previous experience about corporations the better qualified he is to represent the people when their interests and the interests of cor porations clash. — Life. Thoughtful of Him. — " Did ye get damages fer being in that railway accident. Bill?" "Sure; fifty dollars for me and fifty fer the missus." "The missus? I didn't hear she was hurt." "She wasn't; but I had the presence o' mind to fetch her one on the head with me foot." — Harper's Weekly. Tactful Eloquence. — A certain rather im pulsive and hasty spoken lawyer was defend ing a man before a jury in an assault case, wherein the defendant had severely beaten his prosecutor. The defense was that he had extreme provocation in that the latter had
