208. Thus I went on for many weeks, sometimes comforted and sometimes tormented; and especially at some times my torment would be very sore, for all those scriptures afore~ named in the Hebrews: would be set before me as the only sentences that would keep me out of heaven. Then again I would begin to repent that ever that thought went through me. I would also think thus with myself: Why, how many scriptures are there against me? There are but three or four; and cannot God miss them, and save me for all them? Sometimes again I would think, Oh, if it were not for these three or four words now, how might I be comforted! And I could hardly forbear at some times to wish them out of the book.
209. Then methought I should see as if both Peter and Paul, and John and all the writers, did look with scorn upon me, and hold me in derision, and as if they had said unto me, All our words are truth, one of as much force as the other: it is not we that have cut you off, but you have cast away yourself. There is none of our sentences that you must take hold upon but these and such as these: It is impossible—there remains no more sacrifice for sin (Heb. vi); and "it had been better for them not to have known" the will of God, "than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them" (2 Pet. ii. 21); for "the scripture cannot be broken" (John x. 35).
210. These, as elders of the city of refuge, I saw, were to be the judges both of my case and me, while I stood with the avenger of blood at my heels, trembling at their gate for deliverance; also, with a thousand fears and mistrusts, I doubted that he would shut me out for ever. (Josh. xx. 3, 4,)
211. Thus was I confounded, not knowing what to do or how to be satisfied in this question, Whether the Scriptures could agree in the salvation of my soul? I quaked at the apostles; I knew their words were true, and that they must stand for ever.
212. And I remember one day, as I was in divers frames
