that the great God would keep me from the evil that was to come.
238. Of this I was made deeply sensible by the prayer of holy David, who, when he was under present mercy, yet prayed that God would hold him back from sin and temptation to come. "Then," saith he, "shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression" (Ps. xix. 13). By this very word was I galled and condemned quite through this long temptation.
239. That was also another word that did much condemn me for my folly in the neglect of this duty, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Heb. iv. 16). This I had not done, and-therefore was thus suffered to sin and fall according to what is written, "Pray that ye enter not into temptation" (Matt. xxiv. 41). And truly this very thing is to this day of such weight and awe upon me that I dare not, when I come before the Lord, go off my knees until I entreat him for help and mercy against the temptations that are to come; and I do beseech thee, reader, that thou learn to beware of my negligence, by the afflictions that for this thing I did for days, and months, and years with sorrow undergo.
240. Another cause of this temptation was that I had tempted God; and on this manner did I do? it. Upon a time my wife was great with child, and before her full time was come, her pangs, as of a woman in travail, were fierce and strong upon her, even as she would have immediately fallen into labour and been delivered of: an untimely birth. Now at this very time it was that: I had been so strongly tempted to question the being of God; wherefore, as my wife lay crying by me, I said, but with all secrecy imaginable, even thinking in my heart, Lord, it now thou wilt remove sad affliction from my wife, and cause that she be troubled no more therewith this night (and now were her pangs just upon her), then
