September 18, 1769.
This day completes the sixtieth year of my age. What
I have done, and what I have left undone, the unsettled
state of my mind makes all endeavours to think
improper. I hope to survey my life with more tranquillity,
in some part of the time which God shall grant
me.
The last year has been wholly spent in a slow progress of recovery. My days are easier, but the perturbation of my nights is very distressful. I think to try a lower diet. I have grown fat too fast. My lungs seem encumbered, and my breath fails me, if my strength is in any unusual degree exerted, or my motion accelerated. I seem to myself to bear exercise with more difficulty than in the last winter. But though I feel all those decays of body, I have made no preparation for the grave. What shall I do to be saved?
Almighty and most merciful Father, I now appear in thy presence, laden with the sins, and accountable for the mercies of another year. Glory be to Thee, O God, for the mitigation of my troubles, and for the hope of health both of mind and body which Thou hast vouchsafed me. Most merciful Lord, if it seem good unto Thee, compose my mind, and relieve my diseases; enable me to perform the duties of my station, and so to serve Thee, as that, when my hour of departure from this painful life shall be delayed no longer, I may be received to everlasting happiness, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
O Lord, without whose help all the purposes of man
are vain, enable me to use such temperance as may heal
my body, and strengthen my mind, and enable me to
serve Thee. Grant this, O Lord, for the sake of Jesus
Christ our Saviour. Amen.
Who hast safely brought me, &c.
