Shakespeare - First Folio facsimile (1910)/The Second Part of King Henry the Fourth/Act 3 Scene 2
Scena Secunda.
Enter Shallow and Silence: with Mouldie, Shadow, Wart, Feeble, Bull-calfe.
Shal. Come-on, come-on, come-on: giue mee yourHand, Sir; giue mee your Hand, Sir: an early stirrer, bythe Rood. And how doth my good Cousin Silence?
Sil. Good-morrow, good Cousin Shallow.
Shal. And how doth my Cousin, your Bed-fellow?and your fairest Daughter, and mine, my God-DaughterEllen?
Sil. Alas, a blacke Ouzell (Cousin Shallow.)
Shal. By yea and nay, Sir. I dare say my Cousin Williamis become a good Scholler? hee is at Oxford still, is heenot?
Sil. Indeede Sir, to my cost.
Shal. Hee must then to the Innes of Court shortly: Iwas once of Clements Inne; where (I thinke) they willtalke of mad Shallow yet.
Sil. You were call'd lustie Shallow then (Cousin.)
Shal. I was call'd any thing: and I would haue doneany thing indeede too, and roundly too. There was I, andlittle Iohn Doit of Staffordshire, and blacke George Bare,and Francis Pick-bone, and Will Squele a Cot-sal-man, youhad not foure such Swindge-bucklers in all the Innes ofCourt againe: And I may say to you, wee knew wherethe Bona-Roba's were, and had the best of them all atcommandement. Then was Iacke Falstaffe (now Sir Iohn)a Boy, and Page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolke.
Sil. This Sir Iohn (Cousin) that comes hither anon about Souldiers?
Shal. The same Sir Iohn, the very same: I saw himbreake Scoggan's Head at the Court-Gate, when hee wasa Crack, not thus high: and the very same day did I fightwith one Sampson Stock-fish, a Fruiterer, behinde Greyes-Inne.Oh the mad dayes that I haue spent! and to seehow many of mine olde Acquaintance are dead?
Sil. Wee shall all follow (Cousin.)
Shal. Certaine: 'tis certaine: very sure, very sure:Death is certaine to all, all shall dye. How a good Yokeof Bullocks at Stamford Fayre?
Sil. Truly Cousin, I was not there.
Shal. Death is certaine. Is old Double of your Towneliuing yet?
Sil. Dead, Sir.
Shal. Dead? See, see: hee drew a good Bow: anddead? hee shot a fine shoote. Iohn of Gaunt louedhim well, and betted much Money on his head. Dead?hee would haue clapt in the Clowt at Twelue-score, andcarryed you a fore-hand Shaft at foureteene, and foureteene and a halfe, that it would haue done a mans heartgood to see. How a score of Ewes now?
Sil. Thereafter as they be: a score of good Ewesmay be worth tenne pounds.
Shal. And is olde Double dead?
Enter Bardolph and his Boy.
Sil. Heere come two of Sir Iohn Falstaffes Men (as I thinke.)
Shal. Good-morrow, honest Gentlemen.
Bard. I beseech you, which is Iustice Shallow?
Shal. I am Robert Shallow (Sir) a poore Esquire of thisCountie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace:What is your good pleasure with me?
Bard. My Captaine (Sir) commends him to you:my Captaine, Sir Iohn Falstaffe: a tall Gentleman, and amost gallant Leader.
Shal. Hee greetes me well: (Sir) I knew him agood Back-Sword-man. How doth the good Knight?may I aske, how my Lady his Wife doth?
Bard. Sir, pardon: a Souldier is better accommodated, then with a Wife.
Shal. It is well said, Sir; and it is well said, indeede,too: Better accommodated? it is good, yea indeede isit: good phrases are surely, and euery where very commendable. Accommodated, it comes of Accommodo:very good, a good Phrase.
Bard. Pardon, Sir, I haue heard the word. Phrasecall you it? by this Day, I know not the Phrase: butI will maintaine the Word with my Sword, to bee aSouldier-like Word, and a Word of exceeding goodCommand. Accommodated: that is, when a man is(as they say) accommodated: or, when a man is, being whereby he thought to be accommodated, which is anexcellent thing.
Enter Falstaffe.
Shal. It is very iust: Looke, heere comes good SirIohn. Giue me your hand, giue me your Worships goodhand: Trust me, you looke well: and beare your yearesvery well. Welcome, good Sir Iohn.
Fal. I am glad to see you well, good M. Robert Shallow:Master Sure-card as I thinke?
Shal. No sir Iohn, it is my Cosin Silence: in Commission with mee.
Fal. Good M. Silence, it well befits you should be ofthe peace.
Sil. Your good Worship is welcome.
Fal. Fye, this is hot weather (Gentlemen) haue youprouided me heere halfe a dozen of sufficient men?
Shal. Marry haue we sir: Will you sit?
Fal. Let me see them, I beseech you.
Shal. Where's the Roll? Where's the Roll? Where'sthe Roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see: so, so, so, so:yea marry Sir. Raphe Mouldie: let them appeare as I call:let them do so, let them do so: Let mee see, Where isMouldie?
Moul. Heere, if it please you.
Shal. What thinke you (Sir Iohn) a good limb'd fellow: yong, strong, and of good friends.
Fal. Is thy name Mouldie?
Moul. Yea, if it please you.
Fal. 'Tis the more time thou wert vs'd.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, most excellent. Things that are mouldie, lacke vse: very singular good. Well saide Sir Iohn,very well said.
Fal. Pricke him.
Moul. I was prickt well enough before, if you couldhaue let me alone: my old Dame will be vndone now, forone to doe her Husbandry, and her Drudgery; you neednot to haue prickt me, there are other men fitter to goeout, then I.
Fal. Go too: peace Mouldie, you shall goe. Mouldie,it is time you were spent.
Moul. Spent?
Shallow. Peace, fellow, peace; stand aside: Know youwhere you are? For the other sir Iohn: Let me see: SimonShadow.
Fal. I marry, let me haue him to sit vnder: he's like tobe a cold souldier.
Shal. Where's Shadow?
Shad. Heere sir.
Fal. Shadow, whose sonne art thou?
Shad. My Mothers sonne, Sir.
Falst. Thy Mothers sonne: like enough, and thy Fathers shadow: so the sonne of the Female, is the shadowof the Male: it is often so indeede, but not of the Fatherssubstance.
Shal. Do you like him, sir Iohn?
Falst. Shadow will serue for Summer: pricke him: Forwee haue a number of shadowes to fill vppe the Muster-Booke.
Shal. Thomas Wart?
Falst. Where's he?
Wart. Heere sir.
Falst. Is thy name Wart?
Wart. Yea sir.
Fal. Thou art a very ragged Wart.
Shal. Shall I pricke him downe,Sir Iohn?
Falst. It were superfluous: for his apparrel is built vpon his backe, and the whole frame stands vpon pins: prickhim no more.
Shal. Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir: you can doe it: Icommend you well.Francis Feeble.
Feeble. Heere sir.
Shal. What Trade art thou Feeble?
Feeble. A Womans Taylor sir.
Shal. Shall I pricke him, sir?
Fal. You may:But if he had beene a mans Taylor, he would haue prick'dyou. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemies Battaile, as thou hast done in a Womans petticote?
Feeble. I will doe my good will sir, you can haue no more.
Falst. Well said, good Womans Tailour: Well sayde Couragious Feeble: thou wilt bee as valiant as the wrathfull Doue, or most magnanimous Mouse. Pricke the womans Taylour well Master Shallow, deepe Maister Shallow.
Feeble. I would Wart might haue gone sir.
Fal. I would thou wert a mans Tailor, that yͧ might'stmend him, and make him fit to goe. I cannot put him toa priuate souldier, that is the Leader of so many thousands. Let that suffice, most Forcible Feeble.
Feeble. It shall suffice.
Falst. I am bound to thee, reuerend Feeble. Who isthe next?
Shal. Peter Bulcalfe of the Greene.
Falst. Yea marry, let vs see Bulcalfe.
Bul. Heere sir.
Fal. Trust me, a likely Fellow. Come, pricke me Bulcalfetill he roare againe.
Bul. Oh, good my Lord Captaine.
Fal. What? do'st thou roare before th'art prickt.
Bul. Oh sir, I am a diseased man.
Fal. What disease hast thou?
Bul. A whorson cold sir, a cough sir, which I caughtwith Ringing in the Kings affayres, vpon his Coronationday, sir.
Fal. Come, thou shalt go to the Warres in a Gowne:we will haue away thy Cold, and I will take such order,that thy friends shall ring for thee. Is heere all?
Shal. There is two more called then your number:you must haue but foure heere sir, and so I pray you go inwith me to dinner.
Fal. Come, I will goe drinke with you, but I cannottarry dinner. I am glad to see you in good troth, MasterShallow.
Shal. O sir Iohn, doe you remember since wee lay all night in the Winde-mill, in S. Georges Field.
Falstaffe. No more of that good Master Shallow: No more of that.
Shal. Ha? it was a merry night. And is Iane Nightworke aliue?
Fal. She liues, M. Shallow.
Shal. She neuer could away with me.
Fal. Neuer, neuer: she would alwayes say shee couldnot abide M. Shallow.
Shal. I could anger her to the heart: shee was then aBona-Roba. Doth she hold her owne well.
Fal. Old, old, M. Shallow.
Shal. Nay, she must be old, she cannot choose but be old: certaine shee's old: and had Robin Night-worke, byold Night-worke, before I came to Clements Inne.
Sil. That's fiftie fiue yeeres agoe.
Shal. Hah, Cousin Silence, that thou hadst seene that,that this Knight and I haue seene: hah, Sir Iohn, said Iwell?
Falst. Wee haue heard the Chymes at mid-night, Master Shallow.
Shal. That wee haue, that wee haue; in faith, Sir Iohn,wee haue: our watch-word was, Hem-Boyes. Come,let's to Dinner; come, let's to Dinner: Oh the dayes thatwee haue seene. Come, come.
Bul. Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand myfriend, and heere is foure Harry tenne shillings in FrenchCrownes for you: in very truth, sir, I had as lief be hang'dsir, as goe: and yet, for mine owne part, sir, I do not care;but rather, because I am vnwilling, and for mine ownepart, haue a desire to stay with my friends: else, sir, I didnot care, for mine owne part, so much.
Bard. Go-too: stand aside.
Mould. And good Master Corporall Captaine, for myold Dames sake, stand my friend: shee hath no body todoe any thing about her, when I am gone: and she is old,and cannot helpe her selfe: you shall haue fortie, sir.
Bard. Go-too: stand aside.
Feeble. I care not, a man can die but once: wee owe adeath. I will neuer beare a base minde: if it be my destinie, so: if it be not, so: no man is too good to serue hisPrince: and let it goe which way it will, he that dies thisyeere, is quit for the next.
Bard. Well said, thou art a good fellow.
Feeble. Nay, I will beare no base minde.
Falst. Come sir, which men shall I haue?
Shal. Foure of which you please.
Bard. Sir, a word with you: I haue three pound, tofree Mouldie and Bull-calfe.
Falst. Go-too: well.
Shal. Come, sir Iohn, which foure will you haue?
Falst. Doe you chuse for me.
Shal. Marry then, Mouldie, Bull-calfe, Feeble, and Shadow.
Falst. Mouldie, and Bull-calfe: for you Mouldie, stayat home, till you are past seruice: and for your part, Bull-calfe,grow till you come vnto it: I will none of you.
Shal. Sir Iohn, Sir Iohn, doe not your selfe wrong, theyare your likelyest men, and I would haue you seru'd withthe best.
Falst. Will you tell me (Master Shallow) how to chusea man? Care I for the Limbe, the Thewes, the stature,bulke, and bigge assemblance of a man? giue mee thespirit (Master Shallow.) Where's Wart? you see whata ragged appearance it is: hee shall charge you, anddischarge you, with the motion of a Pewterers Hammer: come off, and on, swifter then hee that gibbets onthe Brewers Bucket. And this same halfe-fac'd fellow,Shadow, giue me this man: hee presents no marke to theEnemie, the foe-man may with as great ayme leuell atthe edge of a Pen-knife: and for a Retrait, how swiftlywill this Feeble, the Womans Taylor, runne off. O, giueme the spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me aCalyuer into Warts hand, Bardolph.
Bard. Hold Wart, Trauerse: thus, thus, thus.
Falst. Come, manage me your Calyuer: so: very well,go-too, very good, exceeding good. O, giue me alwayesa little, leane, old, chopt, bald Shot. Well said Wart, thouart a good Scab: hold, there is a Tester for thee.
Shal. Hee is not his Crafts-master, hee doth not doeit right. I remember at Mile-end-Greene, when I layat Clements Inne, I was then Sir Dagonet in ArthursShow: there was a little quiuer fellow, and hee wouldmanage you his Peece thus: and hee would about,and about, and come you in, and come you in: Rah,tah, tah, would hee say, Bownce would hee say, andaway againe would hee goe, and againe would he come:I shall neuer see such a fellow.
Falst. These fellowes will doe well, Master Shallow.Farewell Master Silence, I will not vse many wordes withyou: fare you well, Gentlemen both: I thanke you:I must a dozen mile to night. Bardolph, giue the SouldiersCoates.
Shal. Sir Iohn, Heauen blesse you, and prosper yourAffaires, and send vs Peace. As you returne, visitmy house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed: per-aduenture I will with you to the Court.
Falst. I would you would, Master Shallow.
Shal. Exit.Go-too: I haue spoke at a word. Fare you well.
Falst. Fare you well, gentle Gentlemen. On Bardolph,leade the men away. As I returne, I will fetch offthese Iustices: I doe see the bottome of Iustice Shallow.How subiect wee old men are to this vice of Lying? This same staru'd Iustice hath done nothing butprate to me of the wildenesse of his Youth, and theFeates hee hath done about Turnball-street, and euerythird word a Lye, duer pay'd to the hearer, then theTurkes Tribute. I doe remember him at Clements Inne,like a man made after Supper, of a Cheese-paring. Whenhee was naked, hee was, for all the world, like a forkedRadish, with a Head fantastically caru'd vpon it with aKnife. Hee was so forlorne, that his Dimensions (toany thicke sight) were inuincible. Hee was the veryGenius of Famine: hee came euer in the rere-ward ofthe Fashion: And now is this Vices Dagger become aSquire, and talkes as familiarly of Iohn of Gaunt, as ifhee had beene sworne Brother to him: and Ile be swornehee neuer saw him but once in the Tilt-yard, and then heburst his Head, for crowding among the Marshals men.I saw it, and told Iohn of Gaunt, hee beat his owneName, for you might haue truss'd him and all his Apparrell into an Eele-skinne: the Case of a Treble Hoeboy was a Mansion for him: a Court: and now hathhee Land, and Beeues. Well, I will be acquainted withhim, if I returne: and it shall goe hard, but I will makehim a Philosophers two Stones to me. If the youngDace be a Bayt for the old Pike, I see no reason, in theLaw of Nature, but I may snap at him. Let time shape,Exeunt.and there an end.