CHAP. XI.
Having recommended Adela in the best manner to the abbess, who had shewn her the apartment which she was to inhabit, I went to bid her adieu. Entering the place where she was, she ran to meet me, and rushed into my arms. I had not the heart to reject with contempt the caresses of a woman, whom I had once so ardently loved. This moment was too solemn; I pressed my cheek to her clay-cold face, kissed her eyes and forehead, and said, "compose yourself, my poor wife. Strive to make peace with your own heart, and remember, that though the harmony of innocent love will never be restored between us,—yet I am your only friend, and whatever my heart has once cherished, it can never forget."
—"No, Carlos," returned she, with a faltering voice, "take back your friendship, I want it not. What should I, that could once have quaffed the whole cup of love and happiness, now do with a single drop? Do you think my glowing heart can cool itself with wretched illusions?—No, man of my soul, Adela has wantonly abridged the career of her blissful felicity. Death is now the only thing that remains for her. Yes—I'll die nobly. I have lost your heart, but will not forfeit your esteem.—Grant me the farewel-embrace!—Alas! Carlos, never shall I see thee again!"
I knew not what reply to make. I did not wish to give her too much hope, and yet my heart was bleeding. My senses were confused at being so near to her bosom, whose throbbing I was too well acquainted with. Her dying charms, the deadly paleness of her cheeks, her sad lingering eyes most sensibly touched the very strings of my heart.
—"Despair of nothing Adela," quoth I, "perhaps the future still keeps in store for us a thousand events. Who knows, where it may bring us together again? Time effaces most impressions, the bad in them vanishes, and nothing but the good stays behind."
—"No, no, I will not have these hopes. And were you even ready to take me to your bosom, with the same tenderness, the same confidence,—I would not return to it,—But my Carlos," continued she after a pause, "I carry here on my breast your portrait, which my poor brother gave me, and which rendered so easy our first acquaintance. Will you suffer me to keep it?"
Here she pulled it out with a trembling hand, anxiously waiting for my answer, and finding me hesitate for a moment, the overwhelming weight of her feelings made her drop insensibly on the floor. I could not hold out any longer. I raised her with some difficulty, placed her in an arm chair, rung the bell, and somebody coming in, I precipitately quitted the convent.
I now went to Madrid to make application to the Grand Inquisitor for obtaining his absolution from the crime of murder, for which the secular magistrates would no doubt have prosecuted me. I was certainly wrong int concealing the body of the: perfidious Bernardos, but the despotism of my rage would allow me no time for reflection. Had the police laid hold of me before I took this step, I would have found it difficult to get out of the churches of criminal justice. But the caution with which I tempered the whole proceeding, the confining of all the servants, and the deposition of myself, my valet, and another servant, added to a large fee which I paid the Grand Inquisitor, and the promise of a donation to a convent, soon procured me all possible safety. The cunning priest to cure me of all scruples, even asserted, I had done very right to inter the body in my park, as the offence Bernardos had committed was subject to the cognizance of his spiritual jurisdiction, and as by the canonical laws he was the same as if he had been ipso facto excommunicated, he could by no means be entitled to a christian burial. The reverend judge made no great enquiries into the nature of the case, and seemed to accept my gold as the heaviest proof I could alledge in my behalf. Thus will priestcraft frequently combine with power and wealth, to turn wrong into right, and crime into virtue. I do not mean to say, that I actually became criminal in laying a monster who bereft me of all I held dear; but were any rich murderer to make a similar application with a heavy purse of gold, no enquiries would probably be made into the reality of the case, his word would pass for the truth, and himself get off triumphant; whereas the poor man would, justly or unjustly, suffer for the crime imputed to him. The Inquisition immediately directed a mandate to the magistrates of Alcantara, declaring me free from all responsibility respecting Bernardos's death, and forbidding them to call me to an account.
From Madrid I returned to Alcantara to appoint a proper person to take care of my estates, as I intended to set out travelling, to Portugal or Italy. On my arrival at Alcantara two letters from Adela's father were delivered to me. He informed me in one of them that Count Selami and Caroline had left France and were gone to Toledo. I answered his letters, and stated to him the reasons of Adela's retreat to the convent at Seville, in the same delicate and plausible manner as I had promised her. The goodnatured baron, who was uncommonly fond of me, believed all my assertions, promised to visit his daughter at Seville, and to keep up a diligent correspondence with her. He however bitterly complained, that she should have preferred a cloister to the paternal mansion. This deeply moved me; the reasons which I assigned for her retreat were, an inward debility, and an indisposition which nothing but loneliness could possibly cure.
Having finally settled the management of my affairs, I prepared to visit my friend Selami, who had by this time sent me an invitation to his seat near Toledo. My father-in-law had informed me, that the count left France very suddenly, because his proud spirit could not bear the mortification, which the revolution forced every privileged order to endure.
I was determined to surprise the count, by not letting him know of my coming. When I reached the terrace of his garden, the first object which struck my eyes was a tender child fitting on the green turf, playing with a large greyhound. The animal being one of those I had myself reared and presented to the count, began to recognize me and jumped and barked for joy.
The count, rather alarmed by the barking, hastened to the spot, and perceiving me, flew quite transported into my arms. The azure sky smiled with sympathetic serenity over us, and flowers sprung up under our feet. My friend now took me by the hand, and conducted me to the house. "You know all objects but too well, Carlos, but there is one: that is new in the family."
Here he took up the infant, who could be about two years old, and said, "this is my son, marquis. What will you say to it, if I have called him Carlos?"
—"Heaven grant, that he be more fortunate than his namesake."
—"What, Carlos? You still complain of fate?—Indeed I think you look paler than you used to do. But never mind, I'll do all I can to cheer you."
We had now advanced arm in arm to the balcony of the mansion, from which I descried a lady, eying me with great curiosity and attention. Her dress indicated a person of quality, but of her face I had not the least knowledge. It appeared very deformed and ugly to my sight, and after a short pause, I eagerly asked the count, "pray have you got company to day?"
—"Not a soul."
—"But who is this strange lady on the balcony?"
—"I was sure you would not know her. It is my wife, the mother of this child."
—"Good God! So Caroline is dead?"
—"No, my friend," quoth he, with a smile mixed with bitterness, "I will not unpleasantly surprize you. It is the same Caroline, whom you once so passionately loved. The small-pox has quite disfigured her."
I clapped my hands with amazement. Thus had nature amply avenged itself for the jilting cruelty, with which she had formerly treated my luckless attachment.
—"Never mind, Carlos," resumed my friend, "though her beauty be gone, yer she will please you the more, by what she has gained in loveliness."
The aversion which I felt, of making new female acquaintances, inspired me with a kind of natural dislike to her person. She had once been the idol of my soul, and my pride was now flattered with the idea of my having not only nothing more to dread from her charms, but even of seeing it was in my power to humble her with the loss of them, if she should urge me to recur to such an extremity.
With these sensations I entered her drawing-room. She rose from her sopha, and stept forwards to receive us with a blush, a downcast eye, and a modest curtsey.
The count to draw her out of her perplexity, took me by the hand, "madam," quoth he, "our good friend is come hither to taste the sweets of friendship, being perhaps weary of love." This put Caroline into countenance, and she answered, "Don Carlos is welcome, but it would be a pity, if he had renounced the suavities of the noblest of passions."
The conversation soon grew warm and sentimental, and in less then ten minutes my former familiarity with Caroline was restored. I now found, that her face was not half so much deformed as it appeared to me at first sight, its marks certainly formed a very disagreeable contrast with the remaining traces of its pristine smoothness, but the natural delicacy of her features might be said to have resisted every attack of the evil. Her mouth was till fresh and rosy, her eyes sparkled more sentiment, and a sickly paleness spread a delightful languor over face.
There was an irresistible spell in her conversation. Her voice in Siren-accents expressed the sensibility of her heart, which was tinctured with an air of soft melancholy. Those that loved her once, could now have adored her. Her maternal fondness of the pledge of her confort's love was quite exemplary, and served to give the finishing touch to her various accomplishments.
The count assigned the same apartments to me, which I had occupied before, and heard my late misfortunes with all that sympathetic concern, which characterizes a heart wholly fraught for friendship. His opinion was, that all my miseries were due to the implacable Cabal, whose destruction he devoutly wished for. He did all he could to dispel the gloominess which had taken possession of my mind, and devoted the first hours of the morning and the latest of the night to the alleviation of my distresses. Caroline was still more eager than himself to rouse my broken spirit. But she seemed to catch the contagion, and I soon concluded, that some molesting secret preyed on her heart. Her husband fortunately did not remark it, but I soon perceived, that she became more cool and negligent in her caresses to my friend, and even began to bestow less care on the tender offspring of their union.
Though our habitual confidence in each other, might have justified on my part the attempt of searching into Caroline's secret, yet my scruples would not permit it. I therefore left all to time. As to my friend, I thought it my duty to talk to him on the subject. He deemed it impossible, that her sadness could be owing to any moral cause. He attributed it to some physical defeat in her system, and expressed his desire of having the advice of her physician on the subject. He added, that ever since her lying-in she had betrayed various symptoms of that latent distemper which he declared to consist in an inward agitation, and that he thought travelling would prove the most efficacious remedy to cure her of it. So next year," concluded he, "we shall make the tour of Italy, and I hope you will be one of the party."
I gladly assented to my friend's proposal, though I did not think it a proper remedy to eradicate his wife's disease, My heart made me, I don't know why, despair of its efficacy. Whenever I was alone with Caroline she would fix her longing looks on me, and what I thought most strange, was, her having never enquired after Adela, nor asked the cause of our separation. The count, I was sure, had kept his promise to me, in not opening his lips upon the latter subject.
Autumn came. Our neighborhood grew livelier by the inhabitants of the city retiring to the country to enjoy the sports and delights of the vintage. A great number of visitors waited on the count or spent whole days at his mansion. Both he and I disliked too much gaiety, and the countess, notwithstanding her being constantly in the midst of it, appeared now more and more depressed by her secret chagrin.
Chance, as adverse as favorable to lovers, unravelled, in fine, on some unhappy day her profoundest secrets. We had a great deal of company, and rather embarrassed in what manner to entertain them, the count proposed a walk after dinner to a mill, romantically situate in our vicinage. The ladies also wishing to accompany the gentlemen, followed them all on foot. The count and I, arm in arm, led the way.
The path grew narrower and narrower the more we approached the mill. To increase the nuisance, a miller's boy, leading a horse, made his appearance, and regardless of the sight of so many noble and respectable characters, and of the outcries of his master, brushed through the middle of us with the
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head is so weak, and why thus wish to break your neck?"
I made a bow, and silently retired. The count was quite petrified, and all the company seemed disturbed. I could not speak a word, and my friend was the first who brake the ice. "Caroline," said he, "it is late, see the ladies back to the castle."
She cheerfully complied, and we went before them. The count was silent and very much grieved. I could plainly read in his generous heart, that it harbored no bitterness, no suspicion against me.
The whole company of visitors left us shortly afterwards. At supper my friend was as sprightly as usual, and very attentive to his spouse. He anticipated every wish from her eyes, and gratified it before it could fully display itself in her soul. He dressed himself better, was constantly about her, and sought by celestial kindness to brighten her heavy hours. He ingeniously would mix little Carlos, the sweet pledge of their loves, in every thing he said or did. In fine, he left nothing untried that a feeling heart could do to reclaim that which had wandered astray.
On my own part, I shunned every opportunity, which could have interrupted his tender endeavors, and avoided being alone with Caroline. Hardly could I be pervailed upon to sit at table with them, and then used to be quite neutral and deaf to all their family-concerns. The rest of my time was spent in visiting our neighbors, making fresh acquaintances, giving fetes and balls,—in short, I was now generally to be met with any where but at the castle.