The Poetical Writings of Fitz-Greene Halleck/The Battery War
THE BATTERY WAR.26
“Twice twenty shoe-boys, twice two dozen guards,
Chairmen and porters, hackney-coachmen, dandies!”
“
ere, Dickens!—go fetch my great-coat and umbrella,
Tell Johnny and Robert to put on their shoes;
And Dickens—take something to drink, my good fellow,
You may go with Tom Ostler, along, if you choose:
You must put your new coat on, but mind and be quiet,
Till my clerk, Mr. Scribble, shall tip you the wink;
Then, roar like the devil—hiss—kick up a riot!
I imagine we’ll settle the thing in a twink.”
Arrived at the Hall, they were nothing too early;
Little Hartman was placed, like King Log, in the chair,
Supported, for contrast, by modest King Charlie;
The General was speaking, who is to be Mayor:
Undaunted he stood in the midst of the bobbery,
Clerks, footmen, and dandies—ye gods! what a noise!
No thief in Fly-Market, just caught in a robbery,
Could raise such a clatter of blackguards and boys.
Mercein and Bogardus each told a long story,
Very fine, without doubt, to such folks as could hear;
Then the two kings resigned, and in high gig and glory
The light-footed chief of the Guards took the chair:
So he made them a speech, about little or nothing,
Except he advised them to go home to bed;
And the simple fact is, that, in spite of their mouthing,
’Twas the only good, sensible thing that was said.
By-the-way, though, we’ve heard that these sons of sedition,
These vile Bonapartes (to quote Jemmy Lent),
Are about to bring forward a second edition,
And Squire McGareaghan fears the event.
Now to let our wise Council their honest game play on yet,
Just call out, your Honor, the Gingerbread Guards,
Bid them drive at the traitors with cutlass and bayonet,
And then pick their pockets as bare—as your bard’s.