The Poetical Writings of Fitz-Greene Halleck/To Mr. Potter

by Fitz-Greene Halleck and Joseph Rodman Drake

TO MR. POTTER,¹⁵
THE VENTRILOQUIST.

ear Sir, you’ve heard that Mr. Robbin¹⁶
Has brought in, without rhyme or reason,
A bill to send you jugglers hopping;
That bill will pass this very season.
Now, as you lose your occupation,
And may perhaps be low in coffer,
I send for your consideration
The following very liberal offer:

Five hundred down, by way of bounty
Expenses paid (as shall be stated),
Next April to Chenango County,
And there we’ll have you nominated.
Your duty'll be to watch the tongues
When Root's¹⁶ brigade begins to skirmish,
To stop their speeches in their lungs,
And bring out such as I shall furnish.

Thy ventriloquial powers, my Potter!
Shall turn to music every word,

And make the Martling¹⁷ Deists utter
Harmonious anthems to our Lord;
Then, all their former tricks upsetting,
To honey thou shalt change their gall,
For Sharpe¹⁶ shall vindicate brevetting,
And Root admire the great canal.

It will be pleasant, too, to hear a
Decent speech among our swains;
We almost had begun to fear a
Famine for the dearth of brains.
No more their tongues shall play the devil,
Thy potent art the fault prevents;
Now German¹⁶ shall, for once, be civil,
And Bacon¹⁶ speak with common-sense.

Poor German's head is but a leaker;
Should yours be found compact and close,
As you’re to be the only speaker,
We’ll make you Speaker of the House.
If you’re in haste to “touch the siller,”
Dispatch me your acceptance merely,
And call on trusty Mr. Miller,¹⁸
He’ll pay the cash—Sir, yours sincerely,

D.