The Unpopular History of the United States by Uncle Sam Himself/Chapter 17

by Harris Dickson

XVII

MORE FIGHTS FOR PEACEFUL FOLK

My son, you skirmish around the country right smart and you'll hear folks talk about us being a peaceful people. As a matter of fact, we have had a tolerable thick sprinkling of wars. The Seminole War broke out in 1817; the Black Hawk War in 1832, and the Florida War in 1835.

Suppose we take a look at that Florida War. In 1835, although our population exceeded fifteen millions, less than 4,000 soldiers were supposed to guard the sea coast, the Canadian frontier, and a vast territory which swarmed with hostile Indians. We must have opened that Florida War with a left-handed can opener, so awkwardly and negligently that it spun out to interminable length, with an utterly unnecessary loss of life and property. Major Dade and his command of 110 men were massacred by the Seminoles; only three escaped. That happened on the 28th day of December, 1835. The next day General Clinch, with about 200 regular troops, proceeded to attack the Seminoles on the Withlacoochee River. Governor Call of Florida marched out to help him, with between 400 and 500 volunteers. On December 31st General Clinch crossed the Withlacoochee River and was attacked by a large body of Indians, whom he defeated. Out of the 200 regulars 67 were killed or wounded, including four officers — 33⅓ per cent. What about the volunteers? Of them 400 or 500 had joined General Clinch for the avowed purpose of pulverizing the Indians, yet only 27 volunteers and 3 officers took part in the engagement. Why so many volunteers remained out of action is not explained. Had they displayed the same zeal and bravery as the regulars, the Seminole War would have ended right there. But it did not end for seven years.

Instead of employing regular soldiers who were hardened to such work, the Secretary of War ordered the Governors of South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama to call out their militia "to serve for at least three months after arriving at the place of rendezvous." Year after year, through war after war, we have repeated over and over again the same stupidities that have inevitably led to the same disasters. We had forgotten the lessons of the Revolution, the terrible defeats of Harmar and St. Clair, and the monumental inefficiency of our militia in the war of 1812.

The Seminole Indians were supposed to number not more than 1,200 — or at the wildest guess 2,000 — yet this war dragged on from 1835 to 1842, during which years we employed 41,122 men. In the regular army alone our losses from killed, and soldiers who died of wounds, were 1,466. Add to this the losses of volunteers and militia, for whom there are no available statistics. No well-informed man doubts that the Seminoles killed more Americans than they had warriors. The British had massacred us just as badly in our assaults upon Canada, which we satisfactorily explained by saying that the British were regulars. Here were Indians doing the same thing. The Florida War, about which so little is said, became our bloodiest and costliest affair, proportionately; yet competent troops could have ended it with the first battle. Indian resistance would have been paralyzed at the Withlacoochee, if the volunteers and militia had been trained men and properly handled. The raw militia called out at the beginning of this war were only supposed to serve for three months. I am not going into details of those heart-breaking seven years, seven years of wading through morasses — of brave men fighting with the fevers and dying like flies. A single regiment lost 217 men from disease. Think of the terrific death rate. Our little army, whose maximum strength was 4,191, suffered a death rate that fell only 411 men short of the total number killed in the War of 1812 — in which we employed more than half a million men. All of which could have been avoided by effective action at the start.

During two years of this period, 1836-1838, we were also engaged in the Creek War, and the Cherokee War.

The total troops employed, volunteers, militia and regulars from 1835 to 1842 — which included the Creek War and the Cherokee War, amounted to 60,691 — all of these against a mere handful of Indians. What do you think now of the 10 to 1 proposition?