servation that God did set about his people! Ah, how safely did I see them walk whom God had hedged in! They were within his care, protection, and special providence; though they were full as bad as I by nature, yet, because he loved them, he would not suffer them to fall without the range of mercy. But as for me, he would not preserve me nor keep me, but suffered me, because I was a reprobate, to fall as I had done. Now did those blessed places that speak of God's keeping his people shine like the sun before me, though not to comfort me, yet to show me the blessed state and heritage of those whom the Lord hath blessed.
157. Now I saw that as God had his hand in all the providences and dispensations that overtook his elect, so he had his hand in all the temptations that they had to sin against him; and also to leave them fora time to such things only that might not destroy but humble them—as might not put them beyond but lay them in the way of the renewing his mercy. But oh, what love, what care, what kindness and mercy did I now see mixing itself with the most severe and dreadful of all God's ways to his people! He would let David, Hezekiah, Solomon, Peter, and others fall; but he would not let them fall into the sin unpardonable, nor into hell for sin. Oh, thought I, these be the men that God. hath loved; these be the men that God, though he chastiseth them, keeps them in safety by him. But all these thoughts added sorrow, grief, and horror to me, and were killing to me. If I thought how God kept his own, that was killing to me; if I thought of how I was fallen myself, that was killing to me. As all things wrought together for the best, and to do good to them:that were the called according to his purpose so I thought that all things wrought for my damage, and for my eternal over? throw.
158. Then I began to compare my sin with the sin of Judas, that, if possible, I might find if mine differed from, that which in truth is unpardonable. And oh, thought I
