The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 13/From Jonathan Swift to Thomas Sheridan - 21
TO DR. SHERIDAN.
SEPT. 12, 1735.
HERE is a very ingenious observation upon the days of the week, and in rhime, worth your observation, and very proper for the information of boys and girls, that they may not forget to reckon them: Sunday's a pun day, Monday's a dun day, Tuesday's a news day, Wednesday's a friend's day, Thursday's a cursed day, Friday's a dry day, Saturday's the latter day. I intend something of equal use upon the months: as January, women vary. I shall likewise in due time make some observation upon each year as it passes. So for the present year:
One thousand seven hundred and thirty-five,
When only the d——— and b———ps will thrive.
And for the next.
One thousand seven hundred and thirty-six,
When the d——— will carry the b———ps to Styx.
One thousand seven hundred and thirty-seven,
When the whigs are so blind they mistake Hell for Heav'n.
I will carry these predictions no farther than to the year 2001, when the learned think the world will be at an end, or the fine-all cat-a-strow-fee.
The last is the period, two thousand and one,
When m— and b— to Hell all are gone.
When that time comes, pray remember the discovery came from me.
It is now time I should begin my letter. I hope you got safe to Cavan, and have got no cold in those two terrible days. All your friends are well, and I as I used to be. I received yours. My humble service to your lady, and love to your children. I suppose you have all the news sent to you. I hear of no marriages going on. One dean Cross, an eminent divine, we hear is to be bishop of Cork. — Stay till I ask a servant, what Patrick's bells ring for so late at night — You fellow, is it for joy or sorrow? I believe it some of our royal birthdays. — O, they tell me, it is for joy a new master is chosen for the corporation of butchers. So farewell.