The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 13/From Thomas Sheridan to Jonathan Swift - 17
FROM DR. SHERIDAN.
IF you can believe me, I can assure you, that we have a great plenty of flies at Cavan; and let me whisper you in this letter, nec desunt pediculi nec pulices; but I beseech you not to speak of it. Si me non fallit observatio, we shall have more of the Egyptian plagues, quippe multitudo militum die crastino adventura est in Cavanniam nostrum. I do not know what the devil they will do for meat. De nostro cibo, nisi furtim, aut vi abripiant, uxor me capiat, si gustaverint. The ladies are already bespeaking seats in my field upon the hill, Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut ipsæ. Ho, brave colonels, captains, lieutenants, and cornets, adeo hie splendentes congregantur ut ipsis pavonibus pudorem incutiunt, of which I am an eye witness, dejectis capitibus caudas demittunt. Our bakers are all so busy upon this occasion, that they double the heat of the weather, atque urunt officinas. But when the army fires on Friday, proh Jupiter! infernum redolebunt et spirabunt. The noise of guns, the neighing of the horses, and the women's tongues, cœlum atque terras miscebunt.
Grouse pouts are come in,
I've some in my bin,
To butter your chin;
When done with our din——
——ner, through thick and thin
We'll walk out and in,
And care not a pin
Who thinks it a sin.
We make some folks grin,
By lashing their kin, &c.
I could not mention troop-horses, quin Pegasus noster lusit exultim ut vides; sed jam stabulo inclusus de versibus nihil amplius. You may be surprised at this motley epistle; but you must know that I fell upon my head the other day, and the fall shook away half my English and Latin, cum omnia lingua Gallica, Hispaitica, nec non Italica. I would rather indeed my wife had lost her one tongue, totaliter, quoniam equidem nullus dubito nisi radicitus evelleretur tonitrui suprraret.
I wish your reverence were here to hear the trumpets;
Mistake me not, for I mean not the strumpets.
Well, when will you come down, or will you come at all? I think you may, can, might, could, would, or ought to come. My house is enlarging and you may now venture to bring your own company with you; namely, the provost, archdeacon Wall, the bishop of Clogher, and , by way of enlivening the rest. Do not let my lord Orrery come with them; for I know they will not be pleased with his company. My love to my sweetheart Mrs. Whiteway, if she continues constant; if not, my hatred and my gall. Excuse my haste. I hope by the next post to make up for this short epistle. I am, dear sir, with all affection and respect, your most obedient humble servant,
I send you a letter from Mr. Carte.