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The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift/Volume 7/The Dean's Answer to the Stolen Crown


SO, about twelve at night, the punk
Steals from the cully when he's drunk;
Nor is contented with a treat,
Without her privilege to cheat.
Nor can I the least difference find,
But that you left no clap behind.
But, jest apart, restore, you capon ye,
My twelve thirteens[1] and sixpence ha'penny.
To eat my meat, and drink my medlicot,
And then to give me such a deadly cut —
But 'tis observ’d, that men in gowns
Are most inclin'd to plunder crowns.
Could you but change a crown as easy
As you can steal one, how 'twould please ye!
I thought the lady[2] at St. Catharine's
Knew how to set you better patterns;
For this I will not dine with Agmondisham[3]
And for his victuals let a ragman dish 'em.

  1. A shilling passes for thirteen pence in Ireland.
  2. Lady Montcashel.
  3. Agmondisham Vesey, esq., of Lucan, in the county of Dublin, comptroller and accomptant general of Ireland, a very worthy gentleman, for whom the dean had a great esteem.